Page 41 of A Rose Among Snakes (Gardens of Ruin and Revival)
Chapter Forty
Mihrra
O ur time in Clavo had not been productive. After eating our midday meal, we made our way through the streets asking if anyone had heard of Enverro Machendren. We came across a woman slouched against the stone wall housing a bakery. She was reserved and avoidant as she sewed a sleeve onto a shirt, only offering that she had once been a seamstress at the castle. As our questioning progressed, she became unfocused, trailing off mid-sentence to melt into hysterical laughter and comment on how beautiful Velian was, much to both our annoyance.
The day I’d found Jem passed out in the woods, I didn’t think I could hate Ziffem more than in that moment; but every time I encountered another user, my hatred grew. It was challenging to not direct that vitriol at the user, but with the new knowledge I had, I was able to remind myself they were victims of a king who didn’t value their lives, only their money. Through great measures of patience, we got the woman to share she had heard of Enverro Machendren and didn’t know who he was, but she was sure he wasn’t in Clavo. Before we left, Velian provided her with a hot meal from the closest tavern, and I was helpless against the crumbling of more bricks around my heart .
No one else we spoke with had heard of Enverro Machendren, or at least were not willing to admit so to strangers. Running a hand through his hair, Velian said we should call it a day. While eating supper at the inn, Velian sent an urgent message to Paolef, Corman, and Denzen to meet us in the next city of Hawling, telling me he thought we needed more help.
I stirred the yellow broth in my bowl, dredging up lumps of potato and eating around pieces of gray meat. Hunger wasn’t the only thing gnawing at my belly. I glanced up at Velian’s sullen expression as he stared blankly at the wall, chewing on a hunk of crusty bread. The words had been sitting on the tip of my tongue all day, but pride had me clamping my jaw shut. Now, looking at him, I couldn’t hold them in any longer.
“I get it,” I mumbled.
His emerald irises shot over to me. “Get what?”
I swallowed against the knot forming in my throat. “Why you do what you do.” Now that the words were finally released, I was tripping all over them. “I have no idea what kind of pressure you must be under, but I can’t pretend I would have chosen differently in your shoes. I would do anything for my family.”
Velian opened his mouth, but I cut him off.
“That’s not to say that I don’t hate how much my life has been affected by it all. I’m just saying…” I sighed, still conflicted by my emotions.
“I understand, Mihrra. I hate how much it’s affected both of our lives. I’m haunted every day by the choices I’ve had to make, and the blood on my hands.” He placed his hands in his lap as if hiding literal blood stains. “But it’s all been for Kezara’s sake. I’m all that she has left.”
I nodded mutely, struck by his devotion to his sister.
“I would ask for your forgiveness,” he continued. “But I don’t deserve it. My only hope is to somehow earn your trust, Mihrra.”
I stared at him, caught off guard by his vulnerability. When I didn’t respond he went back to eating.
Velian paid for our meal and we trudged upstairs only to stand side by side in the doorway of our room, staring at the meager furnishings. Clearing his throat, Velian gestured for me to lead the way. I strode forward on stiff legs, unused to riding for several hours and then traipsing around a city all day. I lit the lone candle on the narrow bedside table, barely big enough to fit a book. The setting sun cast an orange glow across the room, but it would not be long before it disappeared. I moved to the bed and lowered myself on shaking legs, exhausted by the grueling night and day. Closing the door behind him, Velian stepped into the room and stared at the rug, rubbing the back of his neck.
“Fine,” I said.
“Hmm?” he asked, slowly dragging his gaze up to mine.
“Fine. We can share the bed.”
Surprise lit his eyes. “No, Mihrra, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. ”
I kicked off my boots and scooted back on the bed toward the window, drawing the curtains closed. “Don’t be ridiculous. It’s been a hard day and there is plenty of room.” It was true. The bed could easily fit two people and took up a majority of the small space.
“Are you sure?”
I hesitated, doubting my decision, but when I looked back at his wary expression, I saw the exhaustion lining his face, too. Settling back I said, “Just hurry before I change my mind.”
He let out a low chuckle and removed his boots and cloak, setting them by the door. He unbuckled the belt from around his waist carrying multiple knives and set it next to his boots, placing one knife beside the candle on the table.
The straw mattress crunched as he settled himself on it, letting out a deep groan as he laid back against the pillows. I kept my eyes trained on the wooden ceiling planks, but in my peripheral, I saw him close his eyes as he sighed. His scent wrapped around me like the jacket he’d placed on my shoulders that night in the garden, stirring up feelings I had been battling the entire day. I tried to dredge up the anger that had spurred me on last night after hearing his confession, but I could only find the dimmest spark.
Velian rolled to his side and faced me. I sensed it more than I saw it as if every fiber of my being was attuned to his actions. Against my better judgment, I turned toward him. The candlelight flickered, and though most of his face was cast in shadow, his eyes didn’t lose any of their vibrancy.
“Are you going to sleep in your cloak?” he asked with a smirk .
I reached for the clasp at my throat. I hadn’t meant to leave it on and felt a little foolish.
“No,” I grumbled, my muscles protesting as I sat up and unclasped it. I removed it from my shoulders and placed it at the end of the bed. Since I was already sitting up, I decided to use the opportunity to take my hair out of the tight braid I had put it in before leaving Blaise Manor. As my fingers worked through my honey locks, I glanced over to catch a glimpse of Velian watching me, throat bobbing.
It was satisfying to see him as the flustered one for once.
I flopped back into the pillows, my loose hair fanning out around my head. Exhaustion took over and I closed my eyes, trying to ignore the frantic beat of my heart. After several silent moments, Velian’s slow intake of breath broke the quiet, and in a low voice he asked,
“Do you want me to blow out the candle now?”
I opened my eyes and turned, studying his face in the flickering light, the sharp planes of his cheeks, his prominent jawline, strong nose, those emerald eyes—so bright and captivating—and the dark, full lashes framing them that made my heart stutter. His lips looked warm and inviting, soft and sensuous. A chocolate-colored wave of hair had settled across his forehead, and it took all my self-control to keep from wrapping it around my finger.
“Yes, you can blow it out.”
He held my stare for several heartbeats before propping himself up on one elbow, rolling over, and extinguishing the flame. The only light in the room came from the faint glow of dusk around the curtains. I heard rather than saw the rustling of Velian’s clothing as he removed a layer to get more comfortable for the night. He settled back against the pillows and I turned away to face the window. I wiggled my way under the covers and closed my eyes, my mind drifting between worry for Kezara and astonishment that I was sharing a bed with Velian Blaise.
Did I really blame him for Jehiam’s overdose? Velian was an easy target, but no; the fault was with Jem. I was more shocked to learn my father was an Enforcer for Velshan Blaise. It was so contrary to the gentle, patient father I knew. I felt lied to, and I burned with anger and shame. It seemed wrong to be upset with a dead man, but I couldn’t help it. Maybe that was the root of my frustration and not Velian’s involvement. With time to process, I liked that he’d confided in me, but there was still the worry that I couldn’t trust him with everything. Who’s to say he didn’t have more skeletons in the closet? Regardless, there was no denying my desire for him; both his attention and his affection.
Flitting in and out of a restless sleep, I had no concept of how much time had passed. Opening my eyes, silver moonlight filtered around the curtains. I took a couple of deep breaths as I became aware of an ache in my left side from staying in one position for too long. I flipped to my right side to find Velian asleep with his hand outstretched, his fingertips resting on the ends of my hair. The sweetness of the gesture made my chest tighten, and I chose not to sweep my hair behind my head .
I stared at him, studying his features again, but this time, taking in the way the moonlight shone through the thin linen of his shirt to highlight the muscles of his chest and arms. As if sensing me, his eyes drifted open and I froze. A moonbeam lay directly across his eyes, transforming the emerald into sea-foam green. My heart thumped wildly in my chest as he rubbed a few strands of my hair between his thumb and forefinger. When I didn’t object, he combed his fingers through.
I maintained eye contact and stayed still as his hand slid from my hair to graze where my hand rested next to my face on the pillow. I allowed him to brush along the back of my hand, down the length of every finger. My breaths came quicker as his fingers moved up my arm to my shoulder, my neck, until, at last, they found my face. He tucked my hair behind my ear and traced my cheekbone, my nose, and finally my lips. My entire body tingled and my lips parted of their own volition under his gentle stroke. His breath caught in his throat before he moved to rest his hand on my cheek.
Possessed by desire, I reached out and traced his features starting with his jaw, noting the scratch of stubble, then moved to his cheek. No longer able to resist, I moved for the stray curl still resting on his forehead and twirled it around my finger, smiling slightly at the way it bounced when I released it. I dragged my finger down the bridge of his nose to his lips, which were as soft and warm as I’d hoped. I pressed on them, imagining how they would feel upon my own.
Before I got lost in that thought, I slid my fingers down his chin until they rested on his throat, feeling his pulse thrum as rapidly as mine.
“Mihrra,” he breathed.
His gaze was heated and I was sure mine matched. The realization was jarring and brought me back to my senses—or rather out of them. I jerked my head back from his touch, returning my hand to my side.
Velian’s mouth twitched and hurt flashed across his features before he schooled them into a smirk and rolled onto his back. I ignored the pit in my stomach at his pained expression and switched back to my left side despite the ache still present in my hip. My body buzzed with energy, but I stayed in that position the rest of the night, even when his light snoring assured me he was asleep.