Page 33 of A Rogue’s Kiss: The Complete Series

Seven

C ordelia entered the breakfast room clad in her best morning dress, with her dark curls gathered at the back of her head. She’d taken great effort with her appearance this morning. Not because she wished to impress Nathaniel, but because she needed the armor to bolster her confidence.

Her gaze went to Nathaniel, and she offered a pleasant smile. Not because she had suddenly developed a fondness for him, but because the previous evening had taught her two things: She did not wish to be at war with her husband, and she must guard her heart.

To that end, she said, “Good morning,” and politely took her seat at the table.

Nathaniel smiled as he returned the greeting, then added, “I am pleased to see you in a pleasant state.”

Cordelia fought the urge to say something backhanded. She inhaled a breath as she returned his smile. “I have concluded that it will do no good to argue with you. Furthermore, I am only adding to my misery by remaining angry.”

Nathaniel nodded as he reached for his glass.

Cordelia averted her gaze for a moment and collected her courage. She’d come to breakfast with a goal in mind and now was as good a time as any to pursue it.

Meeting his gaze, she said, “I would like for us to establish some rules… guidelines if you would, for our marriage.”

She collected her thoughts. All the ideas she’d considered the previous night swam through her mind as she spread jam on her biscuit. She wanted to be diplomatic in her demands, but did not wish to spark another confrontation.

Nathaniel set his glass aside and reached for his fork. “Please continue.”

Cordelia took a bite of biscuit, then swallowed. “I think it would be best for us, as well as our child if we were to become friends.”

“Quite right,” Nathaniel agreed.

Cordelia gave a slight grin of satisfaction. “As friends, we would have to honor and respect one another. You cannot treat me as property, nor will I permit you to have affairs. If we are to get along, I have to maintain my individuality, and I must be able to trust you.”

He reached for her hand, his fingers closing over hers. “I do not wish to control you, Cordelia. I want us to share a mutually fulfilling marriage.”

“About that…” She slid her hand free of his and sat back in her chair. “I do not wish to be intimate.”

Nathaniel held her gaze, his hazel eyes reflecting understanding and kindness. “I am happy to wait until you are ready.”

Cordelia shook her head. “You miss understood. I never want to share intimacies.”

Nathaniel’s eyes took on a hard edge, his face turning red. “Bloody hell, Cordelia! We already have.”

She flinched at the anger in his tone, but remained firm in her decision. “It was a mistake, and I do not wish to repeat it.”

Nathaniel stood with such speed that his chair tipped over, crashing to the floor. He leaned toward her, bracing himself on the edge of the table. “Let me get this right. You will not share your bed, but neither will you permit me to have a mistress?”

Cordelia’s face heated with embarrassment and anger. “I will not allow you to hurt our child. Neither will I put myself at risk. I cannot trust you,” she said.

“You cannot trust me?” He rose one dark eyebrow as he stared at her incredulously. “I have done nothing wrong.”

“Your reputation tells me all I need to know.”

“My reputation?” He seethed. Nathaniel pushed back from the table and strode toward her. “I was not the one who offered my wares. It was not me who hid my pregnancy. And it damn sure wasn’t me who intended to run off with our baby!”

Cordelia stood, her hands trembling with the need to slap him. She fisted her hands at her sides and peered at him. “I was trying to protect my child.”

“From its father? How valiant of you!”

“From the man who is sure to cause him or her shame and embarrassment. I’ll not stand for it,” Cordelia said, her tone firm.

“You, madam, are sorely in need of discipline. I should drag you upstairs and spank the insolence out of you this instant.” He took her arm and brought his face close to hers.

“You wouldn’t dare.” Cordelia wriggled in protest, but he did not release her.

Nathaniel glared at her. “I regret to inform you I will not. As badly as you need it, I have never struck a woman and will not start now. But mark my words, I will not tolerate your abuse. I may not beat you, but rest assured there will be unpleasant consequences if you continue along your chosen path.”

“Go to the devil.” She choked out the words as she fought against the tears rising in her eyes.

“I’m sure I will, but not today.” Nathaniel released her, then strode toward the door.

“I detest you!” She yelled at his retreating back.

“The feeling is fast becoming mutual,” he called back, his steps never faltering.

Once his footfalls dissipated, Cordelia sank into her chair. She brought her biscuit to her mouth and took a nibble, then forced herself to swallow. Her stomach protested as her heart ached.

A tear trailed down her cheek, and she brushed it away. This was no way to live. It certainly was no way to raise a child. She had to figure out a way to fix the mess she’d landed herself in.

But how?

She couldn’t conform to his will. She could attempt to get to know him better. Perhaps in time, she would come to trust him, and they could share a genuine marriage. But what if he broke her heart in the process? What if he could not be trusted?

Opening herself up to him could be the biggest mistake of her life—worse than bedding him. But if he changed his ways. If he was faithful and reformed his reputation…

She could love him.

Cordelia blew out a frustrated breath. Ugly scenes from her childhood skipped through her recollections. All the times Mother had cried as Father flaunted his latest conquest. The way others would stare at Mother with false sympathy as they pried lurid tales from her while pretending to be her friend. The nasty fights Mother and Father had.

How could Cordelia risk such a scenario for herself and her child?

She nibbled at her lower lip, contemplating. She could pack her things and disappear. Catch the next mail coach going anywhere away from London. But then what?

Marring Nathaniel had robbed her of her financial security. She would no longer receive her funds on her birthday. And what if Nathaniel chased after her?

Frustrated and distraught, she rose from the table. It would do her no good to sit there staring at food she would not eat. Neither would it serve her best interests to drive herself mad with unknowns.

Cordelia had to take action.