Page 37 of A Promise so Bold and Broken (Compelling Fates Saga #2)

Chapter Thirty-Seven

L essia didn’t hesitate as she walked up the two sets of stairs leading to the balcony where she and Loche had had one of their first honest conversations.

She didn’t know how, but somehow, she was confident that was where he’d be.

When the glass double doors stood ajar and a broad back greeted her where Loche sat on the railing, his legs dangling over the drop of hundreds of feet into the wild ocean, her lips curled in a sad smile.

It felt like an eternity ago they’d talked about Ardow and Amalise here…

When she’d evaded his questions as best she could while also fighting her growing curiosity about what made the terrifying regent tick.

She shook her head as she silently made her way onto the balcony, leaning her arms against the frozen, but no longer snow covered, railing and letting her eyes rest on the moon’s broken reflection in the angry waves.

The whole election process felt like it had taken place in a different life.

When Loche had thrown a smirk or scowl her way at any moment he could.

But when he had also been vulnerable—sharing memories she knew must still pain him.

When she had found common ground with one of the people she least expected.

When she’d dared open her heart again…

Only to have it ripped from her chest and thrown out as if it were trash.

And now?

She wasn’t sure what to feel toward the dark-haired, gray-eyed confusion of a man.

There was only one thing she knew for certain…

“What has you frowning like that?” Loche stared at her, his keen eyes following her every movement, eerily similar to how they’d tracked her all those weeks of the election.

Lessia shrugged as she moved her gaze out back over the sea. “Painful memories.”

Fabric rustled as the wind blew through their clothing, and she gripped her hair, twisting it a few times and pulling it over a shoulder when the strands continued to cover her sight.

“I’m sorry if I was the cause of them,” Loche said. “I hope you know I must have done it because of the love I had for you.”

Nodding, she let her fingers glide over the smooth ice, picking at a spot where a crack had begun forming.

“I can still feel it.”

Lessia stiffened when Loche moved closer, one of his legs swinging over so he straddled the railing, his body now turned fully toward her.

“I keep watching you, and I know it shouldn’t stir any feelings. I remember you removing them—I still feel them being ripped from my mind. But for some reason, your voice snakes its way into here when you speak.” Loche tapped his heart.

“And those eyes…” He sighed. “It’s like lightning strikes me when they meet mine, and I think… I think my body remembers, even if my mind doesn’t.”

Her throat tightened as she turned his way, and she took a step back when the intensity of his gaze deepened.

“I’m sorry,” she offered quietly.

“Were we happy?” Loche’s dark brows snapped together when she took another hesitant step away from him. “For a while, at least?”

Lessia hesitated.

Had they been happy?

The wild ride in the forest replayed in her mind.

The dancing.

The library.

The cave.

Their conversation on the bed when she’d found out Frelina was alive.

“As much as people like you and me can be,” she finally replied.

She tried to muster a smile, but her lips wouldn’t cooperate when Loche’s features twisted, understanding that she wished he didn’t have lowering his chin.

She sensed he was about to ask her something else, so she quickly blurted out, “There is something in this castle that can help us in the war.”

Loche eyed her for a moment. “And what is that?”

“It’s something you gifted to me that I-I didn’t have time to take when I left.”

“I don’t remember gifting anything to you.” Intrigue flickered once more in his eyes as he added, “I don’t think I’ve ever gifted anyone anything before.”

Her heart clenched at his words, but she forced herself to continue. “It’s a stone that glows softly? It belongs to the Fae, and you told me I needed something to light up the darkness when you offered it to me.”

“And what does this stone do?”

Lessia narrowed her eyes.

Something else crossed Loche’s features.

Something calculating.

Something far too similar to what she’d seen of him in the early weeks of knowing him.

But they were on the same side.

What harm could there be in telling him?

“It calls to the sea wyverns. It was a gift from the gods to help us communicate with them, help us call upon them in moments of need.”

Loche tilted his head.

“I have a stone that controls the wyverns,” he repeated.

“You do.” Lessia nodded, her eyes flitting between his. “I expect it will only work for a Fae or someone with Fae blood, but whoever wields it can call them here to aid us. We’d be able to protect the people of Ellow from both rebels and the Oakgards’ Fae.”

“And you want me to give it to you?” Loche asked, and for some reason, his tone made apprehension race over her shoulders.

“Yes?” She frowned at him when he jumped down from the railing, closing the distance between them. “It can save us, Loche. All of us.”

“Is that why you came back?” Loche’s voice was so cold she expected a white cloud to follow as he opened his mouth.

Another crack worked its way through her chest.

His voice was like ice, but those eyes…

They were filled with sadness.

“No.” Lessia reached out to grip his hand. “I came back for Ellow. For you.”

Loche’s eyes softened, and he took another step—right into her space.

“You came back for me?” he rasped, tilting his head down.

“I—”

Well, shit.

The air whirling across the balcony became heavy, and she placed a hand on his chest when Loche asked, “Can you give me my memories back?”

“Loche, I…” Lessia pressed against his taut muscles to get some space between them.

His face fell. “You can’t?”

She opened and closed her mouth a few times, her eyes pleading with his.

Understanding filled his grays. “You won’t.”

Releasing her hand, Loche stepped back, fighting to put on the mask of indifference they both liked to wear.

Except…

She didn’t carry that mask anymore.

She didn’t want to.

She didn’t have to.

Because…

“Do you love him?” Loche had reached the balcony door, one of his hands resting on the knob as he waited for her answer.

Her silence appeared to be answer enough because Loche forced one of those smirks to overtake his features as he nodded. “I think I’ll hold on to that stone a little longer, if you don’t mind. Don’t need you all to take it and run should something better come along.”

A shocked scoff left her as Loche whirled around and disappeared down the hallway.

But she didn’t follow him.

That might not have gone exactly as she had planned… but it had the outcome she’d wanted.

She’d needed him to know.

Needed to tell him first .

She owed him that much.

Some of the massive weight on her shoulders lifted as she made her way back to the dining room, and she had to hold back her feet from falling into a run when she turned the final corner.

She wasn’t sure how much time she had left in this realm—not after what she’d found out today—and she was not wasting another moment of it avoiding life.

Avoiding love.

She’d spent enough years doing that.

Lessia was surprised that the air was still thick with unspoken tension when she walked over the threshold into the room where the fire burned softly in one corner and the table—still filled with food—stood in the other.

Frowning, she took in the three males: how taut their shoulders were as they sat silently in their chairs, how jerky Merrick’s movements were as he absentmindedly lifted a glass to his lips, how they all froze as she walked up to them.

“Did something happen?” Lessia asked as she rested her hands on the back of Loche’s chair. “Or are you practicing your brooding?”

Kerym began laughing, but after Raine, of all people, gave him a dark look, he grimaced and focused on nursing the wine in his glass.

“How did it go with the regent?” Raine asked, his voice worryingly low.

She tried to catch Merrick’s eyes, but the Fae kept his gaze on the table, his features not betraying a single thought that might be crossing his mind.

Lessia winced, her eyes drifting down to the hands clenching the wooden backrest. “I think he needs a bit more convincing that I came back for him, not just for the stone.”

A loud crash had her whip her head up just in time to catch a glimpse of silver as Merrick stormed out of the room.

She gaped after him, watching as the doors swayed slightly from the haste of his steps.

Turning back to the two Fae warriors, she shook her head. “What just happened?”

“What do you think happened?” Raine stared at her, and the look in his eyes chilled her to her bones.

Lessia scolded herself as she thought back to her words.

I think he needs a bit more convincing that I came back for him.

She dragged her hands down her face.

She should have phrased that better.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” she got out. “I didn’t… come back for Loche. I just meant that I came back to help him and Ellow.”

Still, Merrick hadn’t even let her finish before he left the room…

“He is losing his mind!” Raine rose so fast that his chair also fell over.

“We shouldn’t,” Kerym warned. “He’ll kill us. As in actually kill us, Raine.”

“He might very well be dead before that, so I’ll take my chances,” Raine snarled back. “I’m sick and tired of watching you two dance around each other, especially when it’s hurting someone I love.”

“Hurting?” Lessia’s brows furrowed. “Who is hurting?”

“Merrick, of course!” Raine stalked up to her, forcing her to bend her neck to continue meeting his furious hazel eyes. “This will be the one and only time I break a promise to him.”

Lessia’s mind spun as she stared up at one of the deadliest Fae in their realm.

And when he leaned in and snarled “Merrick is your fucking mate,” she had to grip the chair not to let her knees give out.