Page 22 of A Promise so Bold and Broken (Compelling Fates Saga #2)

Chapter Twenty-Two

F uck!

Lessia angrily wiped at a tear fighting its way down her cheek as she stumbled through the island, a throbbing beginning in her head as her body quickly—too quickly—burned through the alcohol she’d ingested.

She hadn’t dared return to the tavern.

After meeting Merrick’s somber eyes, she’d climbed over the wooden fence surrounding the tavern garden and sprinted down the darkening path back to the cabin.

Or, at least, moved as fast as she could with the cups of liquor she’d drunk.

Lessia pressed her hands against her face, stopping at the fork where one path led to the cabin and the other to the beach.

Against her will, the kiss etched itself into her mind, dimming all other thoughts until she could hear only Merrick’s low moan, her own fast breaths, and whatever the sound was called that had left her as she desperately tried to get closer to him.

It had been a good kiss.

Better than good.

It had been amazing.

As in mind-blowing, earth-shattering amazing.

A mortified groan left her, and Lessia dug her palms harder into her eyes, not even caring about the darkness when crushing shame ripped into her.

She’d kissed Merrick!

Worse, she’d liked kissing Merrick.

And perhaps worst of all—he’d kissed her back.

Why?

Why had he kissed her back?

Heat shot up her neck.

Because he pitied her?

Because he couldn’t stand her being rejected again?

She had just told everyone what happened with Loche…

Dropping her hands to her sides, Lessia stormed down the path to the beach instead of returning to the cabin, where soft light peered out of the rounded windows.

“Fuck!” she screamed again as she reached the shoreline, her frustration building when the water seemed to swallow the curse.

Lessia fell to her knees, her hands slamming into the sand.

Again.

And again.

But it still wasn’t enough to quell the burn inside her.

Not until a wave of water fell over her.

Squinting as drops of salty water that clung to her lashes teased her eyes, Lessia found Ydren’s large shape snaking its way onto the beach.

Soon the beast surrounded her, and her heart skipped a beat as she wondered whether Ydren perhaps thought it time to punish Lessia for using her magic on her that first day.

But as Ydren curled closer, she was gentle, her thick body not crushing her but…

Hugging her.

The wyvern was hugging her.

A shocked giggle broke through the haze of panic that had threatened to take over as Lessia wondered whether she’d driven away yet another person she loved, and it wasn’t the alcohol that made her wrap her arms around Ydren’s long, wet neck.

Her brows furrowed at how soft Ydren’s scales were.

And her body was so… warm?

Not what she’d expected from a creature that usually lived in the depths of the sea.

Ydren growled softly when Lessia trailed her fingers over her scales, and when the creature pressed her neck against Lessia’s body, she couldn’t help another sob escaping.

“I messed up tonight,” she whispered.

Ydren didn’t make a sound, so Lessia continued.

“I don’t know what happened. I just… I was having fun, and he was there. And… I don’t know… I think I liked it? But now I am afraid he also hates me.”

Lessia sniffed.

She wasn’t sure if she could stand Merrick hating her.

If she could return to how they’d been before growing close during the election.

Gods, why did she make a mess out of everything?

Throwing herself at every person who showed her an inkling of warmth, like a desperate child…

It was humiliating.

And wrong.

Ydren let out a rumbling sigh as Lessia let her arms go limp, and when Lessia met her eyes, the wyvern jerked her head toward the small spot of sand surrounded by her body.

“You want me to sit?” Lessia gestured toward the spot, and when Ydren nodded so vigorously that drops of saltwater stained Lessia’s cheeks like her tears had before, she slumped down with her back against the wyvern.

Probably best she stayed out here for a while anyway.

She wasn’t sure she could face Merrick and the rest yet.

With another deep sound, Ydren rested her head on her own body opposite Lessia, keeping one eye open to follow Lessia’s movements.

Lessia shot the creature a skewed smile when Ydren continued eyeing her, something like curiosity reflecting in the wyvern’s violet eyes.

“I messed up tonight.” Lessia threw her head back as she repeated her declaration, wincing when her hair got caught in Ydren’s scales. “I really did. It seems like I just keep doing it. Like I just can’t get it right.”

Ydren blinked at her, and Lessia interpreted the flicker in her eye as a sign to go on.

“I keep hurting those I love.” Her hand flew to her chest, a fist forming over her aching heart and her voice thickening as she continued. “My sister, my parents, Loche… and now Merrick. They all hate me now. I—”

“You’re wrong again.” Merrick’s voice floated over the wyvern, and her adrenaline surged as she whipped her head up to find his eyes staring straight into hers.

Her tense shoulders lowered an inch.

They were his normal eyes.

No hurt lacing the edges like it had back at the tavern.

Ydren winked at her as she started unraveling her body, and before Lessia could even say good night, the wyvern slithered down into the water with only a soft splash betraying her descent into the depths of the sea.

“What am I wrong about?” Lessia rasped as she fought the lump in her throat.

“Everyone doesn’t hate you.” Merrick gracefully folded his legs as he sat down beside her, his gaze wandering out across the sea. “I don’t. And I doubt your sister does either. She’s angry because she loves you so much. It’s… it’s easy to turn to rage when love stabs a dagger right through your heart.”

“Sounds like you speak from your own experience,” Lessia mumbled, but she couldn’t help the whisper of hope that began fluttering in her stomach at Merrick’s words.

“I do.”

Sympathy roiled in her gut, but before she could say something, Merrick spoke again.

“You know that pain too. I can see it in your eyes every day. You need to tell me. Did Loche turn you away after you—” Merrick cleared his throat, the rest of his words coming out clipped. “After you told him you loved him?”

Lessia swallowed.

But they’d find out what happened soon enough, now that they were heading back to Ellow.

“He forced me to erase all memories of us together. To erase his feelings for me.”

It was quiet for a beat, and Lessia didn’t dare look up as rage tinged the air around them, Merrick’s whispers softly skimming across the sand.

“Why would he do that?” Merrick mumbled, almost as if to himself.

“I betrayed him,” Lessia whispered. “It… it wasn’t that I was a spy. He didn’t care about that—he seemed to have even suspected it. It was because I used my magic on him that night we were attacked on the cliffs. It’s the same night he came to me and trusted me…” She drew a shaky breath. “He kissed me that night. And he never would have if I hadn’t manipulated his memories.”

She felt like slamming her hands into the sand again.

She should never have let Loche kiss her.

She’d known it was wrong.

She’d known their entire relationship—or whatever it was—was on borrowed time.

Silence stretched so long that Lessia finally peeked at Merrick through her lashes.

He appeared deep in thought, something fighting across his features as he dragged his hands down his face.

It was as if he was trying to solve a puzzle from memory, his eyes darting back and forth until they finally met hers again.

Lessia stiffened when that thought… the thought that he was beautiful… slammed into her chest once more, and a torrent of heat flowed through her, exactly like it had when she’d climbed into his lap.

Casting her eyes to the hands she wrung in her lap and trying to ignore her surely red cheeks, Lessia mumbled, “I am sorry for what I did to you tonight. I swear, I do not know what came over me. And… and I’m sorry for saying you were a distraction. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“Lessia.” Merrick cupped her cheeks with his hands, forcing her eyes to his. “Stop. Fucking. Apologizing.”

Her eyes widened when he inched closer, and the blush that had warmed her skin must now have been near purple.

“The world is painful.” Merrick’s gaze drilled into hers. “Yours perhaps more than most. But it’s time for you to stop cowering before it. Make mistakes, and forgive yourself for them. Get hurt, and fight back. You’re a good person. A fucking great person. Stop letting guilt dim your light. I told you once, it’s time to shine…” His hands tightened their grip, and Lessia’s breath caught in her throat.

“It’s time to fucking burn, Lessia. If we’re taking on the threats of this world, you’ll need to be willing to burn it down. Love. Lose. Hate. Win. They all come together in the end. Use them to fuel that passion to make this wretched world a little better.”

Warmth shot through her veins.

Not like the warmth from the liquor.

But courage, determination, and fiery conviction that Merrick was right sparked through every nerve when he dropped his hands.

If she didn’t know better… she might have thought it was Merrick’s emotions flowing through her, for how quickly they drove any lingering worry away.

But… he didn’t manipulate or manage emotions.

Her muscles relaxed as she placed her hands on the beach, leaning her weight on them.

“You’re right.” Lessia nodded to herself. “Still, I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to kiss you.”

Merrick’s brows twitched. “I know.”

Lessia inclined her head, and as she pushed her hands into the sand and got up, Merrick did the same.

Walking in comfortable silence back the short distance to the house, that gratefulness she’d felt the past couple of days provided comfort against the nightly wind beginning to pick up, and a small smile tugged at her lips as she reached for the doorknob.

But before she could twist it, Merrick’s hand gripped her own.

Confused, she glanced over her shoulder at him.

“You should know.” Merrick’s breath hit her mouth when he leaned in over her. “I don’t regret it.”

“Regret what?” she asked.

“Kissing you.”

Lessia’s eyes rounded so much she was surprised they didn’t pop out of her skull.

“I know you didn’t mean it. But…” Merrick’s gaze drifted over her. “You don’t need to feel guilty.”

Her mouth fell open when Merrick’s hand squeezed hers as he opened the door and threw a curt “Night” over his shoulder before stalking off toward his room.

Her jaw remained slack the entire time she got out of her clothes and washed her face in the bathing chamber, and when she slipped into the cool sheets of the bed.