Page 12 of A New Chapter in Rosewood Beach (Rosewood Beach #7)

CHAPTER TEN

Vivian ran a cleaning rag across the surface of The Lighthouse Grill’s counter, an action that she’d done countless times before.

She could easily do it without thinking about it, and her mind was definitely not on her cleaning.

It wasn’t even on the pub’s dinner rush, which was just beginning to pick up for the evening.

She was thinking about a road surrounded by trees, and two cars parked along the shoulder. She was thinking about the way she’d felt when Terrence had arrived to rescue her after her accident. Most of all, she was thinking about the way she’d kissed him impulsively.

She hadn’t seen it coming, and she’d found herself doing it before she’d really had a chance to think it through.

It was so unlike her to do something like that.

My goodness, she hadn’t kissed a man besides Frank in decades.

But after her accident, she’d felt overwhelmed by the reminder of how fleeting life is, and all at once she’d suddenly recognized the growing strength of the fondness she had for Terrence.

She’d always considered him to be simply a friend, although sometimes she had to admit to herself that he gave the impression of wanting more than that from her.

She’d felt supported by him all throughout their friendship, and she knew how much she valued him as a person.

Now, however, ever since their kiss, she was beginning to peer at the idea of a romance between the two of them the way a child would peer at a Christmas tree from the top of the staircase on Christmas morning.

She hardly dared to think about it, but at the same time she didn’t seem to be able to think about anything else.

I don’t know what to do with this, she thought helplessly as she straightened up and looked over the counter to make sure that it was spotless. She noticed a tiny speck of ketchup along the edge and hurried to eradicate it.

She continued down the counter, moving closer to where customers were eating and drinking.

Faith was sitting at the counter reading a book, and Vivian felt comfortable enough with her to clean near her.

As she scrubbed the counter, her thoughts floated back to Terrence, and she found herself scrubbing with far more vigor than usual.

“Careful.” Faith laughed, looking up from her book and grabbing hold of the tall glass in front of her. “You nearly knocked over my root beer float.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, Faith.” Vivian sighed. “I’m just so distracted.”

“No harm, no foul,” Faith said cheerfully. “It’s keeping my night exciting, anyway. What are you distracted about?”

Vivian felt her cheeks coloring, and she didn’t want to answer Faith’s question. “How come you’re here by yourself tonight? I’m surprised you’re hanging out here with us instead of spending time with Ryan.”

Faith shook her head, although Vivian couldn’t help noticing that she looked slightly troubled. “Hey, we’re talking about you, not me. What’s going on that’s made you so distracted?”

“Oh, nothing’s going on.” Vivian pressed her lips together, suddenly a little tempted to tell Faith all about what had happened.

She hadn’t wanted to tell her daughters about the way she’d kissed Terrence impulsively, but Faith was different.

Maybe it would feel nice to tell someone all about the way she was feeling, and what had happened.

The only problem with that was that she didn’t quite know what she was feeling.

She could also feel herself blushing at the thought of telling Faith about what had happened between her and Terrence, even though Faith wasn’t one of her daughters and wouldn’t feel as surprised by it as she knew they would.

“It’s nothing that’s happening, really,” Vivian said finally, scrubbing at the counter even though there was nothing to wipe up anymore. “I’ve just felt a little off since I had that close call on the road home from Providence.”

The near-accident she had told her family about as soon as she’d gotten home.

They’d all been immensely relieved that she was all right, and Julia had vowed to drive out and scour that road for anything that might puncture a tire so that she could remove it.

Dean had replaced Vivian’s torn tire for free, and had thoroughly inspected the other ones to make sure that they were in good condition.

Vivian loved the way her family was so supportive and protective of her, but even throughout all of her conversations with them, she hadn’t been able to stop thinking about what had happened between her and Terrence.

They knew he’d come to pick her up, of course, but she hadn’t said anything at all about the unconventional way in which she’d thanked him.

“Oh, I understand.” Faith put a hand on Vivian’s arm, and for a moment Vivian’s heart fluttered as she wondered if Faith somehow knew about the kiss.

“That kind of experience can be so scary, and it can change your perspective on life. I had my own ‘brush with death’ if you will, when I had that panic attack and went to the hospital. When I thought it was a heart attack, it really changed the way I looked at my life. I realized that I didn’t want the kind of success I always thought I wanted, and that having good people around me who loved me would matter so much more than being an accomplished lawyer. ”

She and Vivian shared a smile. “I’m so grateful that both of us turned out to be perfectly all right,” Vivian said.

“Me too.” Faith nodded. “And I’m so grateful that I realized that my life needed a change when I did.

Not only was I hurting my body by working too hard at that law firm, but I was depriving myself of the things that really matter.

Family and good friends, and time to slow down and enjoy the little things in life.

Maybe there’s something you’re supposed to realize too.

Maybe your life needs a little bit of a change.

” Faith said the words gently, her eyes shining affectionately.

Vivian hesitated, her mind filled with images of herself kissing Terrence. Was she meant to become more spontaneous like that? More open to the possibility that it wasn’t too late for her to experience romance a second time in her life?

If she was being truthful with herself, she had to admit that she’d been wondering non-stop if she hadn’t become rather complacent in her life.

She’d expected things to stay the same, and she’d told herself that she was going to keep living within the mold she’d made for herself.

She’d seemed to have talked herself into the idea that her life was now meant to be uneventful, since she was a mother and grandmother.

Now, however, after the accident, she had begun to ask herself why. It wasn’t as though her children or her granddaughter would be upset if she did something different with her life. They all loved her and wanted her to be happy.

Maybe I’m scared, she thought. Maybe I want a more exciting life, like I used to have, but at the same time I’m worried about making changes. I’m nervous about taking risks, so I’ve told myself those times are over as a way to protect myself.

“I guess I have been thinking about my life more since the accident,” Vivian said, sitting down at the counter next to Faith.

“Before it happened, I’d been feeling that parts of my life are over now.

I’ve been struggling with wanting things in my world to feel more exciting and unexpected, but I’ve also been telling myself for a while now that it’s time to transition into a far-from-eventful season of life.

My days of adventure are over, and it’s time for me to just settle down and enjoy what’s left for me. ”

“Oh, don’t say that.” Faith shook her head adamantly. “There’s no need for that kind of surrender.” She grabbed Vivian’s hands and squeezed them. “Would you ever suggest that one of your children stop dreaming? Or stop chasing after the things that make their hearts soar?”

Vivian’s eyes became slightly moist, and she shook her head. “No, of course not. But I’m different, aren’t I? What do you mean for me to do?”

“Well.” Faith inhaled, staring into space and looking eager as she considered it.

“The Lighthouse Grill is practically running itself now, because of Julia and all the hard work that both of you have put into this place. I mean—here you are cleaning a spotless counter while you’re surrounded by capable staff members who could have done it for you.

” She laughed. “I think you can start taking more time for yourself. Perhaps you should pay some attention to developing your own hobbies. Things like that.”

“I guess you’re right.” Vivian found herself staring into space as well.

A thrilling kind of excitement was filling her.

“I can’t think off the top of my head of anything that I’ve been wanting to do, but I like the idea.

” She loved the idea of adopting a new mindset that would allow her to explore new things.

Could this new approach possibly include Terrence?

Her heart beat faster at the idea, but she told herself not to move so quickly.

She was just beginning to consider the possibility of finding romance again, and she wasn’t really sure she was ready for it.

After all, she was still getting over not only the loss of her husband, but also the heartbreak caused by the things that he’d concealed from her over the years.

Finding out that he’d been secretly gambling away the pub’s finances had shaken her to her core, right when she was already staggering from the grief of losing him.

And yet, she realized, she had been feeling a draw to Terrence for some time.

He had been so kind and thoughtful in many ways, and it was as if this new appreciation for what he could mean to her had been waiting for her for a long time.

She seemed to almost fall into it, the way one might fall into open arms.

She chatted with Faith for a while longer, and then went back to doing busy work around the pub.

Once the dinner rush really picked up, she had to be on her toes to keep up with all of the tasks that needed to be done.

She had to admit to herself, though, that they were all easy tasks that she could easily assign to someone else if she wanted.

It was true that she could focus more on her personal life if she wanted to.

And she was feeling more and more as though she wanted to. No matter how busy The Lighthouse Grill became, she couldn’t stop thinking about Terrence. Even after she’d eaten a late dinner sitting at one of the booths with Allison, the cook, and gone home for the night, he was on her mind.

As she turned on her bedside lamp and crawled into bed that night, she was still replaying the moment of the kiss in her mind. It had ceased to startle her so much, and now it was a memory that filled her with excitement more than alarm.