Page 12 of A Mother’s Love

As always when they were about to leave, Sunday morning was hectic.

At one point, Seth took refuge in the kitchen, to escape the confusion of the twins trying to figure out what to take with them and what to leave at their mother’s and who was taking what, carrying armloads of clothes to each other’s rooms. As soon as Seth walked into the kitchen, he found himself alone with his mother-in-law.

She was standing by herself, staring out the window.

It was a cold November day and it was raining, which suited her mood.

After three days of the house being full again, she hated to see them go.

And it would be a long time before their next visit or hers to them.

She turned to look at Seth with a sad smile.

“I hate to see you all leave, it was so nice having you here. I hope you come back soon.”

“We will,” he reassured her, and sat down at the kitchen table with her.

“You gave us a wonderful Thanksgiving,” he said to her.

“The best one I’ve ever had. My family could never seem to get it together for holidays, or anything else.

They were always in the wrong place at the wrong time, with the wrong people.

I got out as soon as I could, and got married myself, and married the wrong person.

I never thought I’d marry again until I met Valerie, and I knew right away that she was the right woman.

You did it all right with the girls. They’re both fantastic women.

Sometimes I feel like I’m married to both of them. ” He smiled as he said it.

“Twins have a very special relationship. Nothing comes between them. Sometimes I felt like an outsider with them when they were growing up.” They were both quiet for a minute, thinking about the twins and how close they were, to the exclusion of everyone else at times.

Halley had gotten used to it, but it was still new to Seth.

There would always be times when Valerie would be closer to her twin than her husband.

“Fortunately, in different ways, I love them both,” he said after a minute, and then looked seriously at Halley.

“I’m so sorry about the boat. I thought I was doing a good thing, and I didn’t mean to leave you out of it.

I thought you’d come along. It never occurred to me that you wouldn’t.

And I hate like hell to leave you here alone. ”

“I’m a big girl.” She smiled at him. “I’ve been alone before.

I can handle it. And I don’t want Olivia to miss what sounds like a very special trip.

She doesn’t need to sacrifice herself for me.

She’d be miserable here without her sister.

I want her to go with you. If I didn’t get so sick just looking at a boat, I’d come too.

Although your mother deserves some time with her family, without my tagging along. ”

“We haven’t gone on vacation with her in years.

My brother suggested it, and he’s probably right, but I’d rather be here with you,” he said, and she smiled.

“We’ve never had much of a relationship.

My brother is more forgiving than I am.” She nodded, with a distant look, thinking of her parents.

There had been so much to forgive, and she knew she never had.

There had been too much. She had laid the past to rest and moved on in her life.

It was the best she could do, and she had made a good life for herself and the girls, without bitterness over the past. But she could never forgive what they’d done, or even understand it, once she had children of her own.

It made what her parents had both done even more unimaginable.

“I want you to go on the trip and have fun. It’s an off year for me, that’s all. It’s not a tragedy. That happens when one’s children get married. They alternate years with the in-laws.”

“You won’t have to do that with me,” he reassured her. “I think this trip with my mother will be a one-off.”

“She’ll probably never forget it. It’s a nice thing for you to do as her son.”

“What about you? Will you be all right?”

“Of course,” she said bravely. It was going to be much harder than she would admit to him, but she didn’t want to spoil the trip for them. She had made the decision the night before to sacrifice this Christmas for them.

“The holidays don’t mean as much to me as they do to Valerie. I kind of avoid them. So I wanted to make this Christmas special for her, and you were part of the plan. As I said, it never occurred to me that you couldn’t come.”

“You’re doing a wonderful thing for everyone, Seth. You don’t need to feel guilty about it.”

“You’re an amazing person,” he said with feeling, grateful that she was his mother-in-law, just as both girls exploded into the room.

They were both wearing black jeans and black sweaters, with their hair pulled back, and black sneakers, and for an instant, he couldn’t tell them apart, and neither could Halley.

She recognized Olivia first, because of her expression.

She looked anxious, as she always did before a trip, and in this case, sad to leave her mother, especially if they wouldn’t be together for Christmas.

She was angry at Valerie for not vetoing the boat the first time Seth brought it up, and now it was too late to get out of it.

She was still torn between going on the yacht with them and coming to New York to be with their mother.

But she could tell that her mother was going to be stubborn about sacrificing herself.

“What have you been up to in here?” Valerie asked her.

“We were waiting for you two to get organized,” Halley said with a smile.

Just seeing them together that way made her happy.

They were gorgeous women. It was like seeing double looking at them when they dressed alike, even more so as adults.

They were spectacular looking, and Seth was admiring them too.

“I’m going to be the envy of every man on the plane,” he said warmly, and Halley knew it was true.

They put their coats on then and picked up their bags, and Seth hugged Halley warmly before he left.

“You can still change your mind, you know. We’ll get you the best seasickness medicine on the market.”

“I’d be a zombie, and you’d want to throw me overboard by the second day, if not before.” She hugged the girls then, and Olivia clung to her tightly for a minute, hating to leave her.

“Be careful, Mom. Don’t work too hard. I’ll call you when we land in L.A.”

“Fly safely,” she said, as they loaded their bags into the elevator, and an instant later, the door closed and they were gone.

She walked slowly back into the apartment, realizing that she didn’t know when she would see them again, but with the boat trip in the Caribbean at Christmas, she knew it wouldn’t be soon.

—

“Now I’m in love with three of you,” Seth said seriously, looking out the window of the car he had hired with a driver to take them to the airport. “Your mother is a wonderful person,” he said to his wife.

“Most of the time,” Valerie conceded with a smile.

“Actually, she’s pretty good,” she said, and kissed him, as Olivia stared out the window in the front seat, worried about her mother and still trying to decide what to do about the boat trip.

She had less than four weeks to make up her mind. They were sailing on December20.

She was quiet on the plane, thinking about it, and then she put her headphones on and watched a movie.

She was sitting with her sister, and Seth had taken a seat with a stranger.

He had work to do on his computer, and he knew the twins would rather be together, even if they didn’t talk to each other.

—

When they landed in L.A., Seth’s car and driver were there, and they dropped Olivia off at her house. She said she wanted to unpack. She’d had an idea on the plane for a new painting for her show and wanted to make some sketches, and buy some new canvases tomorrow.

The airport had been mobbed with people coming back from Thanksgiving with their families, and the highway was jammed. It took them longer than usual to get home in the traffic.

Their housekeeper was at the house in Bel Air, waiting for Valerie and Seth, and made them dinner.

When they went upstairs to their bedroom, Seth put his arms around Valerie and kissed her.

“It’s nice having you to myself,” he said softly.

“I love Olivia and your mother, but I haven’t been alone with you in four days.

” They fell into bed, without touching their suitcases, and made love in their extremely comfortable bedroom.

Valerie was lying next to him naked afterward, as he admired her body and trailed a sensuous finger around her breast. They’d had a great time in New York, but he was happy to be home, and to have Valerie to himself.

Olivia was happy to be home too, as she wandered around her house, walked into the kitchen alcove that was her studio, and turned on the lights.

She stood looking at the lineup of her paintings for a few minutes, thinking about her show in March.

She had a lot of work to do to get ready.

Then she went to make herself a cup of tea and called her mother.

Halley was happy to hear her. The apartment had been dead silent all afternoon.

She had started editing her first draft after they left.

It was a good way to spend a winter afternoon. It was too cold to go out.

“What did you do today?” Olivia asked her.

“I did some editing on the new book,” Halley replied, happy to hear her voice. She hadn’t spoken to anyone all day since they left.

“I had a crazy idea on the plane,” Olivia said pensively. “Why don’t you go somewhere for Christmas?”

“Like where? I hate traveling alone. I’ll be happier at home working.”

“You can’t work all the time,” Olivia reminded her, but she did anyway.

“Yes, I can.” Halley smiled.

“You love Paris. Why don’t you go there for Christmas, or New Year’s?”

The last time Halley had been there was with Robert. It had been romantic and fun, but it wouldn’t be fun alone. She never even went to restaurants by herself, and didn’t enjoy it.

“What are you doing this week?” her mother asked her, changing the subject.

“I have an idea for a new painting, maybe a series, I want to fool around with it tomorrow. The show is only three months away. I need to get to work.”

“That sounds like fun,” Halley said. Listening to Olivia made Halley miss her more.

It had been so nice to have her home. They hung up after a few minutes, and Halley sat thinking about what Olivia had said about going to Paris.

It was a crazy idea, and the kind of wild, spontaneous thing she never did, and she liked being at home for Christmas, but not alone.

Or maybe she could spend Christmas at home, and fly to Paris after that for New Year’s.

It was a big trip to take by herself. But maybe that was what she needed to do.

Something crazy. She was turning fifty before Christmas.

Maybe she needed to celebrate it, instead of mourning her youth.

The girls had wanted to give her a party, which she didn’t want.

They had been planning to celebrate when they came home for Christmas, so their absence was a double loss.

None of them had thought about that when Seth told them about the boat. It only occurred to Halley now.

The seed Olivia had planted was stubborn, like a weed. Halley couldn’t get it out of her head. It followed her around like a stray dog for days.

—

Halley had hated her birthdays since her childhood. They had always been sad, painful days. She preferred not to celebrate them, even now, and to treat them as normal days.

The girls sent her three dozen roses on her birthday, and they had a beautiful bag delivered to her that she loved.

They called to wish her a happy birthday and she thanked them.

Then she surprised them both. She felt suddenly liberated by the landmark birthday.

If she was going to be old, at least she should have some fun.

“I’m going to stay home for Christmas, and then I’m going to fly to Paris and celebrate New Year’s there.

It’s the craziest thing I’ve ever done, but I think Robert would be proud of me.

He always wanted me to be more spontaneous.

I’ll edit the book before I go, and do it again when I come back, or I can take it with me, to work on at night.

I have to figure out where to stay. And if I hate being there alone, or get too lonely, I can always come back.

” A week or two in Paris was hardly a jail sentence.

“It will be an adventure.” She sounded excited about it.

Olivia felt relieved when their mother told them her plan, and didn’t feel quite as guilty for going to the boat and leaving her alone for Christmas, although she still felt bad about it.

But Valerie was being so insistent, and her mother had told her to go.

Seth and Valerie had invited two couples to fill the two empty cabins.

The trip was going to be fun, there was no denying it, although Olivia wasn’t excited about spending a vacation with Seth’s brother and mother.

But she knew the two couples they’d invited, and she liked them.

With her spur-of-the-moment plans, Halley had freed her from guilt, and Olivia was starting to look forward to her trip. So was Halley.

She booked a ticket to Paris online for the twenty-sixth of December, and called a well-known realtor in Paris to see about renting an apartment for two weeks.

She didn’t want to stay at a hotel. She wanted to feel Parisian while she was there.

She kept reminding herself she could come home if she had a terrible time.

But how bad could Paris be? Paris was Paris.

And oddly, she always felt an inexplicable tie to it because of her mother.

Halley was half French, a fact she hardly ever thought about.

And her big adventure would start the day after Christmas, doing something so different.

She felt as though she was turning a page with her landmark birthday.

What lay ahead were like blank pages in a new journal, that she could write any way she wanted.

It gave her an incredible sense of freedom she’d never felt before.