Page 45

But then, Georgette was struggling to find enjoyment in anything at present. She rang for her maid, then flopped onto her bed and stared disconsolately at the canopy until Prinny bustled in with a tray.

“Coffee, Miss Hawkridge.”

Georgette sat up with a grateful sigh. “You are a wonder.”

“I was not sure whether you would prefer to nap before the revelries begin later, but I thought it likely not. I know how you prefer to enjoy the anticipation.”

“There is not much to anticipate, Prinny, for I do not mean to do any revelling.”

“What?”

Startled, Georgette whipped around to see Lilly standing in the doorway.

“I shall come back later,” Prinny whispered, quitting the room.

Lilly came to Georgette, frowning. “Darling, whatever do you mean? You simply must come to the masquerade.”

“No, Lilly, it is you who must go. It is in your honour, after all. I shall not be missed by anyone.”

“You will be missed by me! And Sarah, and I daresay Elizabeth, and?— ”

“Coffee?” Georgette interrupted, leaning forward to pour herself some.

“No, thank you.”

“Good. I only have one cup.”

“Do not change the subject. Tell me why you do not wish to come to the ball.”

Georgette felt a sudden wave of emotion that left her momentarily unable to speak.

“Because Anderson will not be there—is that it?”

Georgette turned her face away, sucking in a disconcertingly uneven breath.

Lilly dragged a chair closer and sat down, taking up Georgette’s hand in her own. “If I can brave the evening in Saye’s presence, then you must be able to tolerate Anderson’s absence.”

Georgette rapidly found her voice again. “Surely Saye has forgiven you for your dressing down by now? That was days ago. I have never known him to hold a grudge.”

“Oh, he is not angry with me. I am only concerned for how I am to avoid him all evening.”

“Why would you wish to avoid him?”

“So he does not propose to me again.”

Georgette sat up straighter, clutching Lilly’s hand in both of hers. “Saye proposed to you?”

“Twice, actually. I think twice. Maybe once and a half.”

“You do not look pleased. I take it I should not begin calling you Cousin yet.”

“No, for I refused him both times. ”

“Oh, Lilly, why? You are completely in love with him, you know. I have known it for months.”

Lilly pulled her hand free of Georgette’s grasp and stood up to begin pacing.

“What do you think of this for a proposal? He asked if I should like to see the east wing, which has evidently been closed for some time. I said certainly, I would go, and suggested Elizabeth accompany us, but he said he ‘did not wish to frighten Zabet’. Is that her nickname, by the by? She did not tell me it was.”

“I think Saye has made that up.”

“Ah. Nevertheless, I went with him, and he began by showing me the dining room.”

“The east wing has its own dining room? I do not remember it.”

Lilly nodded. “Smaller than the main one, of course, but still grand. He told me he intends to have a feast in there on our wedding day. A feast…of me.”

Georgette snorted with laughter.

“You see—he laughed as well, and now you are laughing, too!”

“Forgive me. Carry on.”

“Well, knowing Saye, it seemed safe to tell him I ought to slap him as hard as I could. And do you know what he said to that?”

“I am afraid to ask.”

“He said ‘Darling Lilly, if that should excite you, have at it’. I swear I hardly know what he means half the time. And as always, just when he had vexed me so that I could hardly see straight, he came over all lovely and sincere. We were nearly back to the drawing room, and he begged me—with utter earnestness—to promise I would not leave. He said I am the love of his life, and he cannot let me leave Matlock until he has convinced me of the sublime felicity we might have together. Then he kissed my hand and strolled off without a care, as though it had not been the most discomposing hour of my life!”

Georgette grinned broadly at her. “And was this the first or second proposal?”

“The second. The first was even more nonsensical. He rattled away about how difficult it was being a viscount because one day he would be forced to call me Lady Matlock. He said that made him feel conflicted—well, in truth he used a different phrase, but I shall not repeat it, even to you, for I should blush like a tomato if I said it aloud. In any case, he spouted gibberish about heirs deserving the right to rename their earldoms such that their wives and mothers would never need share a name, and said he intended to speak to the Prince Regent about it next time he was at Carlton House. I cannot even say whether I truly refused that one, because he neglected to ask me the question!”

Georgette shook her head, glad of her first genuine laugh in days. “Only Saye! But why not just accept him and be happy?”

Lilly sat down heavily in her chair. “Because he is only mocking me. I gave consideration to a man he finds ridiculous, and suddenly my marriage prospects are an object of hilarity to him.”

Georgette regarded her friend gravely. “I do not think he is joking.”

“Of course he is. Have you not always told me he is not the marrying kind?”

“I never heard him speak about any other woman in such terms—of sharing his name with her. And Lilly, if he is in love with you, and if he was serious when he said those things, then I beg you would not continue to evade him. I do not like to think how unhappy he must be that you have not said yes.”

“Saye is not capable of being unhappy—he is far too delighted with himself,” Lilly objected heatedly.

“No, that is not true,” Georgette said quietly. “I know, because he and I are so alike. And everybody believes I am only a little put out that Anderson has left. Whereas, in truth, I…I think I am a little bit?—”

It had been so long since she last wept, Georgette did not immediately recognise the burning sensation at the back of her nose as the precursor to tears. She was taken aback when she began to cry, though once she had begun, she simply could not stop.

Lilly’s arms were about her in an instant. “Oh heavens, Georgette! Why did you not say?”

“Because I thought he would come back,” she mumbled between sobs. “Or write. But it has been days, and I have had no word. I begin to think he cannot forgive me.”

“Forgive you! Whatever for? You were defending him!”

Georgette sat up and wiped at her tears with her sleeve.

“That is precisely what for. You do not understand. His parents’ ruin condemned him and his brother to a life of obscurity.

Randalph’s answer is to bury himself in the gambling dens of London, but Anderson does not have that luxury.

He has Gilchester Hall to oversee, and his institution, and he must do it all in as unremarkable a way as possible lest anyone notice and remember who his mother was.

And going unnoticed is not easy for him.

You would not know it, but he is excessively sportive by nature.

He takes pleasure in good company and clever wit, in cards and games.

He loves to race. Yet he has had to learn to be inconspicuous, and he needs a wife who will help him do that.

“He does not need a wife who will lose her temper and shriek all his secrets to the world in a fit of pique. Defending him in that way was the very worst thing I could have done.”

Lilly tucked a strand of Georgette’s hair behind her ear and peered at her sympathetically.

“Darling, if he is not in want of a wonderful, strong woman, who supports him in all his endeavours and is passionate about his work, then permit me to say that he ought not to have been marrying you in the first place.”

“You are a dear, but I am a more selfish creature than you give me credit for, and I am less concerned about what I can give to Anderson than with what he can give me. I am in want of a man who can love me in spite of my sharp tongue and occasional thoughtlessness. A man who values my understanding and respects my opinion despite my dreadful habit of taking nothing seriously. A man who finds me beautiful. A man who feasts on me?—”

“Georgette!”

She gave a teary grin and shrugged. “I am in want of Samuel , Lilly. I cannot bear the thought that I have lost him.”

“If he loves you as well as you say, he will come back to you. Have a little faith in him.”

Georgette took a deep breath and nodded. “Very well. If you will have a little faith in Saye.”

Lilly nodded back. “Very well. I shall try.”

Lady Aurelia knew how to throw a ball. Matlock had been transformed into a veritable wonderland of glittering whimsy, every banister and cornice draped with some sparkling ornamentation or other.

The ballroom was incandescent with the light of what must be a thousand candles, whose glow was refracted in all directions by gilt-edged mirrors and crystal-draped chandeliers.

A cavalcade of carriages had arrived to swell the house party’s numbers into a mad crush of masked beauties, and word had it that the musicians counted three harpists and a renowned opera singer amongst their number.

Georgette had to admit, she was pleased not to have missed it.

She walked on her own through the crowd, eschewing any conversation, for she did not trust herself to keep her composure were anyone to enquire about Anderson.

Her mask, and her efforts to remain inconspicuous, only sharpened her thoughts of him.

She wished it had been this display of discretion he had last witnessed rather than her gauche exhibition in the library.

She might have grown maudlin dwelling upon it had not someone spoken her name in a startlingly familiar voice, bringing her spinning around to search for familiar features among the masks.

“Father!”

Those close enough to perceive her alarm quieted and stepped back to clear a path between them. She hurried towards him, her heart and mind both racing.

“Georgette. I trust you are well,” he said gravely.

“My cousins did not tell me they had invited you.”