Page 26 of A Marriage is Arranged

Forever afterwards, Louise would feel that her wedding night was when she finally knew herself. The instinctive pull she had felt towards her husband from the first moment of their meeting manifested itself in a passion she had never known she had. Before, she had been a plain, introverted maiden, given more to talking to herself than to others, her feelings well under control. But from the moment her husband put his large, warm hand in the small of her back and kissed her, she became another creature. She abandoned all restraint, responding passionately with her whole being. Then during the act itself, a thrill ran through her such as she had never before experienced.

Afterwards, she lay in a glow of well-being, her chest heaving and her heart pounding. Certainly it had been painful for a minute or two, but it was a pain she would willingly experience again for the joy of what followed. Was this what her mother had meant by sometimes quite pleasant ? What an understatement!

Her husband had been calm and almost business-like at first, but then became as abandoned as she, giving a great groan at the end, before collapsing on top of her. She could feel his heart racing as fast as her own. After a few moments he muttered , “Sorry, I must be suffocating you,” and turned onto his back. She wanted to say he wasn’t suffocating her at all, that she loved the feeling of his whole body on hers, but she couldn’t find the words. They lay quietly next to each other for a while, then he turned and kissed her on the cheek. “Thank you, my dear,” he said, and left her.

She fell asleep almost immediately and did not wake until the maid came in with a tray the following morning.

“Beggin’ your pardon m’lady, but Cook sent up some muffins, in case you could fancy some. They is ever so good!”

Louise started to sit up, then realized her nightgown was on the floor where she had thrown it the night before. She had desperately wanted to feel her husband’s naked skin against her own. She blushed and pulled the sheets across her chest.

When the girl had gone, Louise quickly slipped her nightgown back on and then lay sipping her tea and nibbling a muffin (they were very good!) thinking over what had happened. She had become another person: uncontrolled and shameless. Would she have been like that with any man? Is that why girls were continually warned not to allow themselves into compromising situations? Because they would lose all control as soon as a man took them in his arms?

But she knew that could not be so. At school the senior girls had all been in love with a young music master. He was tall and willowy, with fair hair and blue eyes. He looked like a poet. She had pretended to swoon over him like the others, but looking back she knew he had meant nothing to her. She forgot him as soon as he was out of sight. Her husband constantly occupied all her thoughts. Just his presence made her heart beat furiously. She longed to see him again.

For his part, the Earl had returned to his room the night before in something of a daze. Louise’s reaction to their lovemaking had both astonished and delighted him. He had never been with a maiden before and her words earlier that day had led him to believe she would be afraid, even tearful. She had talked of sleepless nights worrying about it, but nothing in her demeanor had been fearful. Quite the reverse. She had welcomed and reciprocated his embrace. He fell asleep satisfied, pondering this unexpected outcome.

But the next morning at the boxing saloon he found that his pleasure the night before was two-edged. His reflexes were slower and his normally powerful right jab weaker than usual.

“You’re a newly married man, my lord,” said Gentleman Jackson after the training bout. “Stands to reason you’d be less aggressive. Been using your energies elsewhere, I daresay.”

“Never happened to me before,” muttered the Earl.

“But it’s different with a wife, like most things,” laughed the older man. “We always tell our lads to lay off relations with the old trouble and strife before a fight.”

After the dousing with a cold hose that served as the ablutions for young and old, rich and poor alike in the establishment, the Earl rode home in something of a quandary. Was he to lose his abilities every time he spent the night with his wife? That would be a pity. But the contract they had signed had been for only twice a month. That would solve the boxing problem, but, dammit, did he want to be limited like that? Recalling his experience of the night before, it was a difficult choice.