Page 32 of A Love Like Pumpkin Spice (Wayward Hollow #1)

Nic

As soon as Jay is out of sight, I sink onto the upper step of the gazebo. All the fight leaves me at once.

My thoughts run wild, showing me all the worst-case scenarios, making my blood freeze in my veins and my heart pound in my chest. What if the paparazzi come here? Will my lake house become a prison, with each step outside of its safe four walls published in tabloids?

I never even noticed the crowd forming around us, but now, their curious and worried stares prickle into my skin like a thousand needles. I pull my knees to my chest and sink further into myself.

“Hey.”

Lauren crouches down in front of me, trying to catch my gaze, but I nervously shake my head at her, still trying to remember how to breathe.

It’s not even the fact he tried to blackmail me—I don’t give a damn if he tries to taint my name.

Those whose opinions matter to me know that I would never do that.

But I’m exhausted. How much longer does this have to go on?

“Henry?” she shouts for him loudly. Before I know it, he trades places with her, kneeling before me while Lauren shoos everyone away from this little spectacle.

“ Hey, sweetheart,” he says softly, and the worry in his voice is almost enough to make me break into the tears I’ve been trying to hold back. “What’s going on in that pretty head of yours? Talk to me.”

I try to hide my face in my palms, but he catches them before I can, holding them in his big, warm hands. Jensen is suddenly beside us, trying to make sense of what’s happening, tip-tapping around us and nudging me with his nose nervously.

“Sweetheart,” Henry mumbles again, swiping a strand of hair behind my ear and keeping his warm palm against my cheek.

“Talk to me. What’s going on?”

“Everything,” I admit in a broken whisper, finally ready to meet his eyes.

“I’m frustrated. And angry that those two keep appearing like some annoying pop-up ad from my past saying, ‘Remember, you’re unlovable.

’ And the next second, I’m sad because they were the people who were supposed to love me. ”

I swallow past the knot in my throat, trying to push my emotions down with it.

“They were supposed to take me for who I am. To build me up, to celebrate my wins, to mourn my losses. But now the only loss I’m mourning is them. And it’s unfair. Why do I have to care if they don’t give a damn? Why can’t I switch those fucking emotions off for good?”

I glance around helplessly because I don’t know where to look. And that makes me angry again. With trembling fingers, I wipe away a tear and lower my voice even further.

“And some days, most days, I know they’re wrong. I’m awesome. A fucking delight to be around.” A sobbing laugh escapes me. “But then the days creep in when I believe them, you know? What if I’m not? What if I deserve it, after all?”

“Oh, sweetheart,” he says, wiping another tear away from my cheek. “Listen to me closely. You are the strongest woman I know. You are radiant. You light up every room you walk into. And I know it’s easy for me to say and much harder for you to believe.”

He lifts my hand and presses a kiss into my palm.

“But I’ll keep reminding you. Every single day that you let me. You deserve love. You are loved.”

At this point, the tears keep streaming down my face, sobs breaking out of me.

“And they are idiots not to have seen it. Now come on, sweetheart. Breathe with me.”

He puts my hands against his chest, taking slow and deep breaths that I’m trying to imitate.

When I finally get it, I nod. And then I see his lips curl into a small, proud smile, though the amusement doesn’t quite reach his eyes.

“Should I take you home, sweetheart?” he whispers and lifts my hand to press a kiss into my palm, the tingle from his scruff distracting me. “I think you need a break.”

I quickly shake my head, glancing up at him through wet eyelashes.

“If I go home now, I’ll keep thinking about it,” I whisper and force myself to take a deep breath, swallowing past the ball of emotions in my throat. “I want to stay. I want to help.” Determination makes my voice stronger as I blink up at Lauren. “I want to romanticize the fuck out of life.”

A proud grin slowly tugs at Lauren’s lips, and her hunched shoulders sink as the worry leaves her.

“And I’ve been really looking forward to this,” I add, eyes darting around the town square. Most of the stands are built and ready for the fair. There’s barely a square foot without a pumpkin on it.

“We still have a bunch of garlands and knickknacks we need to put up. And all of this—” I make a vague gesture around us. “It’s coming together so nicely,” I point out with a pout, then lower my voice. “I had such a fun time before he opened his mouth.”

“I’m coming with you later though,” he decides and gets up, extending his hand to pull me to a stand.

His voice lowers as he keeps me close to him, his hand snaking from my waist to the small of my back, like it belongs there. It’s a movement already so deeply ingrained in his mind, he probably can’t help himself.

“The threats might’ve been empty, but the fact he’s bold enough to say them worries me,” he mumbles, and I nod. Is he reading my mind?

Lauren gets closer, talking in a hushed voice as well, her eyes darting around, fearing Jay might jump out from behind one of the pumpkins.

“I’ve already sent the recording to Erik and you. Make sure to forward it to your lawyer as soon as you can, all right?”

“Will do,” I say with a small, sad smile. “I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to thank you enough, Lauren.”

“Oh, please,” she waves it off like it’s nothing.

But I mean it.

“No, seriously.” I slip out of Henry’s half-hug and grab her gently by the arm.

“You’re saving my butt here. Just take the compliment.”

“Well, in that case, please keep them coming by all means,” she quips, and the joke lifts the mood, just a little. “Now come on. We’ve still got a mountain of garlands to hang.”

“I’m sorry,” I tell Henry later in the peaceful quiet of my living room, limbs tangled as we cuddle under a warm blanket

He made good on his promise. After making a quick stop at his house to load up on clothes and dog necessities, he drove right over to my place, arriving at the exact same time as the pizza he ordered for us.

The empty boxes are on the coffee table, with Pumpkin cuddled up on one of them.

It must have still been warm when I put it there.

“What are you sorry for, sweetheart?”

His hand is absentmindedly drawing patterns over my shoulder, sending a tingle all over my skin. I could stay here forever. With my head against his chest, listening to his heartbeat, Cinnamon curled up in my lap, and Jensen Ackles asleep on the couch next to Henry.

Chaos is somewhere on the couch pillow behind my neck, finding her spot halfway on my shoulder and halfway on the back of the couch. Her soft purr vibrates against my shoulder.

The silence is only broken by an old cartoon softly playing on my TV. I stopped paying attention to it a while ago, though, my thoughts somewhere else entirely.

“I bring trouble wherever I go,” I explain in a low voice, distractedly playing with his fingers, gently tracing them with my fingertips before interlacing them with mine.

“I mean, first Chaos died. Then I got my ex and sister to ruin the whole town’s mood. I’m just …” I exhale a deep sigh and close my eyes. “I don’t know what to do anymore.”

He presses a kiss against my temple and pulls me tighter against him.

“I don’t care,” he whispers into my ear and squeezes me to him.

“I mean, I probably would care if the trouble you brought with yourself was … I don’t know, a biker gang out to get you.

Or the Mafia, trying to marry you off to their boss.

Or clowns. I hate clowns.” He quirks an eyebrow at me.

“I’d still protect you from them, but I’d probably scream louder than a five-year-old-girl in a haunted house. ”

My lips curl into the faintest smile.

“ But this?” He shakes his head. “You had an error of judgment. It can happen to anyone,” he assures me. “I’ve had my fair share of those too. Why do you think I chose to work with animals?”

“Really?” I glance up at him curiously. “That’s hard to imagine.” He’s so … put together. He’s got a handle on his life; an old soul, wise way beyond his years, the one you go to when you need advice from an actual adult.

“Really,” he reiterates and takes a deep breath. “I used to have a buddy in college, Ryan. We became best friends in the first week of high school and grew up together. Naturally, when we ended up at the same university, we decided to rent a flat together. Worst mistake of my life.”

I glance at him, curiosity eating me from the inside, but I wait for him to continue.

“He almost got us kicked out of the flat several times, because he spent the money I gave him for rent. Then, one day, he got caught with drugs in his car and tried to blame me.”

“What the fuck?” I turn fully to look at him, as Chaos gets up and jumps down onto the couch pillow.

“That’s what I said,” he chuckles. “That little accusation could have cost me my job and my entire future. Thankfully, the cops already thought he was full of shit, and when they came up empty after searching my room, I was cleared.”

“Thank God,” I whisper, drawing a pattern over his shirt with my finger.

“What I’m trying to say is ‘I don’t mind’ would be an overstatement.

Jay and Marissa are not your responsibility.

Whatever they’re doing, whether it’s beef with people from our town or bringing down your mood, it’s not your fault,” he continues, and every word hits closer to home.

When he calls Wayward Hollow “our” town, I’m one breath away from bursting into tears again.

“ It’s just so unfair,” I mumble, cuddling against his side.

“I know I keep saying that, and life isn’t fair, but everyone always talks about karma and …

” I take a deep, shaky breath. “Right now, it feels like they will never get their comeuppance. They get to be shit people their whole life, and it only benefits them. Now they are parading around town with this we-can-do-whatever-the-fuck-we-want attitude, because they know there won’t be consequences.

There have never been any. And I’m sick of it. ”

I glance up at him, gnawing on my lip as I carefully choose my next words. “All my life, I’d hoped Marissa would get knocked off her high horse and land in the mud.”

His curious stare drills into the side of my face, and I pretend to watch TV while I continue.

“God, that makes me sound mean. But, you know, I thought if she finally got consequences, it would force our parents to finally open their eyes and realize what kind of person they raised.” Cinnamon moves in my lap and I run my fingers through her soft fur, smiling when I hear her purr.

“To be fair, I’d hoped it was in her best interest, but it was also my own chance at schadenfreude.”

He chuckles and I grin when he presses a kiss to my temple.

“You want to know what happened to my buddy after the drug incident?” he asks softly and I nod.

“He caught a grip. A few months after I moved out, he messaged me and apologized for being a shitty friend and roommate. I think he’s some kind of computer hotshot nowadays, but it took the police, a few nights in county jail, and rehab for him to realize how badly he’d messed up.”

“The difference is I’m pretty sure neither Marissa nor Jay will ever reach that point,” I say, and take a deep, frustrated breath.

“Marissa has her head so high up her own ass, she’s basically wearing herself as a crown.

In her mind, she is the main character. The only person in the whole wide world who ma tters.

Nothing can happen to her. Nobody ever tells her no.

And if they do, she’ll just pretend they didn’t. Because there won’t be consequences.”

I pinch the bridge of my nose.

“Maybe you’re underestimating Erik,” Henry mumbles, and I nod against his shoulder.

“I sure hope so,” I admit, softly tracing a subtle line of different colored fur on Cinnamon’s back. “But all I can do is wait. And I hate waiting and not being able to do anything. It makes me feel helpless.”

I sigh as he tightens his arm around my shoulders, pressing another kiss to my head.

“Their time will come,” he assures me. “Mr. Peterson already volunteered to run them out of the city with torches and pitchforks.”

I shoot him an amused smile. Paired with Lauren’s offer of playing one-sided dodgeball with Jay, Marissa and some pumpkins, it makes for a very amusing picture in my mind.

“I’m just saying it could be a highlight of the autumn fair,” I say with a giggle and cuddle further into him. “Can we chant the song from Beauty and the Beast while we do it? ‘Kill the Beast’ seems fitting.”

“I’ll be in the first row,” he assures me. “Just have to get my pitchfork out of the basement.”

He pulls me into his lap, much to Cinnamon’s dismay.

“We got this, Nic. Whatever happens.” He whispers against my temple, and I exhale all the tension and doubt that have been building over the day.

God, I’m so lucky Chaos brought me to him.