Page 26 of A Love Like Pumpkin Spice (Wayward Hollow #1)
Nic
“So, the autumn fair. I think the three of us should get involved, being the newbies and all, don’t you think?” Lauren asks and takes a hearty sip of her pumpkin-spice primped coffee. Caleb is shooting us a glare, but he has given up on trying to make Lauren keep the syrup out of his café.
“What exactly do you think we should do? Do we have to?” Kieran wonders, then buries his face in his hands. “I’m too introverted for this stuff.”
“You? Introverted?” I ask, amused, biting my lip to keep from grinning at his misery.
“Why do you think I chose a job that doesn’t involve talking to people?” He sighs, glancing up from his hands. “Through a screen I can do, but real life? I’d rather not.”
“Fair point.” Lauren leans back in her seat, hands in front of her chest as she thinks.
I’m only listening with half an ear, my thoughts circling around Henry.
I know he’s aware of my mood. I didn’t exactly try to hide that I’m not feeling my best, and thankfully, he didn’t pry.
I wish I could shake this feeling off—those gnawing thoughts that I don’t deserve him, that I’m not good enough.
One day I’ll get there.
“Earth to Nic!” Lauren waves a hand in front of my face. “Stop with that sad face.”
“ Right? Are you seriously letting your asshole ex tear your mood down?” Kieran narrows his eyes at me.
“I’m trying not to,” I say with a groan and take a deep breath. “But shockingly, there’s not exactly an off switch for ‘haunted by my unhinged ex’ in my settings menu. Trust me, I checked. Twice.”
The two of them shoot each other knowing glances, and Lauren quickly changes the topic back to the autumn fair, pretending my past never came up.
Which I prefer if I’m being honest. I need normalcy in order to build distance from it.
To build a wall that I can safely bury the painful memories behind, only to be seen again from a safe distance.
“Oh, hey, Caleb.” Kieran waves at Caleb, who has once more mysteriously appeared right next to our table. “Henry told us about the autumn fair. What’s it about? Is there anything we can do to help?”
Caleb peers at the three of us, skepticism written all over his face.
“You three can volunteer to decorate,” he finally grumbles, turning the page on his notebook that he uses to write down orders. “Make the damn thing presentable for once.”
“You’re not a fan, I take it?” Lauren asks sweetly and Caleb’s eyes and the disgust shining in them speak volumes. I hide a grin behind my hand as he continues.
“It’s loud. It’s annoying. It blocks the whole damn town center. Some of us have better shit to do,” he mumbles and walks past us to another table.
“To be fair, Henry mentioned that Caleb pretends to hate it,” Kieran points out, voice shaking as he tries not to laugh, and I nod slowly.
Caleb doesn’t seem interested in any kind of festivity.
He’s the type who wouldn’t even dress up as the Grinch for Christmas.
Who acts as if their birthday is a day like any other and will glare you into the ground if you dare to congratulate him.
Who are happy with a boring existence. But hey, to each their own.
He probably has his reasons, but I’m excited to see if he’ll actually warm up for the autumn fair.
“I wonder why,” Lauren says softly, tapping her fingers against the table. “Maybe there’s some town lore we don’t know yet.”
“Or maybe it’s the charm of his grumpy personality.” Kieran lifts his shoulder in a lazy half-shrug and Lauren shoots him a glare.
But before she can answer, my phone buzzes on the table, and Taylor Swift’s “You Need to Calm Down” blares through Caleb’s like it’s trying to make a point. Everyone here turns to see where the song suddenly comes from. Not awkward at all.
“Say hi to Joel for me,” Lauren says with a wink as I get up and rush outside to take the call.
If Joel’s calling, something’s probably on fire—figuratively or otherwise.
He’s my former manager-slash-publicist and should know better than to bother me with anything less than an actual emergency now that I’m retired.
I’d threatened to bite his head off enough times during my first week off to make that perfectly clear after he kept bothering me and asking me to reconsider.
“I swear to God, Joel, if this is another attempt to get me back to acting—” I talk myself into rage as soon as the door to Caleb’s closes behind me, but he quickly interrupts me.
“Calm down. It’s good to hear from you too, Nic.”
“What do you mean ‘too?’ If you’re calling, I know it isn’t good news.” I walk away from the entrance, leaning against the cool brick wall, letting the back of my head fall against it. “Please, spit it out.”
“Someone is shopping around for magazines or paparazzi who want to know your new address. Or so a little birdie told me.”
My heart beats into my throat, my blood suddenly turning into ice. I let my head fall forward and pinch the bridge of my nose.
“No. No, no, no.” I curse, kicking a pebble away from me.
“The good news: You’re yesterday’s news.” He sounds truly happy about it, but I can’t see the same silver lining. “I mean, I say that with love. With you retiring from acting, there are bigger fish to catch, but I think at some point, someone is bound to pay up.”
“Oh, God.” I exhale a sigh so deep I fear it will take my soul right along with it and close my eyes.
“Do you know who it is?” Joel asks, sounding eager to spring into action. “Can we pay him off?”
“Oh, Joel.” I take a deep breath. “I can only imagine that it’s Jay. And I’d rather pose for a horde of paparazzi than give that sorry excuse for a man even a cent.” I gulp and hug myself with my free arm, my fingers tapping against my hip as I try to think rationally.
What do I do now? I love this life here. How calm it is, how I’m only another girl in town. That I’m not Nicola Duncan, award-winning actress here, but Nic. Just Nic. I don’t want that dynamic to change.
“Maybe he’s dumb enough to blackmail you?” Joel offers, drawing an unamused chuckle from me.
“That would make everything too easy, Joel.” I take a deep breath, trying to collect my thoughts. Then again, Jay hasn’t exactly proven to be very bright. “Thanks for warning me. I’ll keep an eye out.”
“Take care of yourself, Nic. And if you ever want to come back, you have my number. Hope we won’t need to talk again soon, but I’ll let you know if I hear anything else.”
Before I can return that sentiment, he hangs up. And I’m left in the streets of Wayward Hollow, a cold weight on my chest and tears forming behind my eyes.
Eve rything continues to pile on. What did I do to deserve this? Didn’t Jay make me suffer enough already? Now he wants to sell me out to paparazzi?
I want all of this to be over.
All I want is to enjoy my calm new life here in Wayward Hollow, instead of continuously looking over my shoulder, fearing being photographed or that Jay will be around the next corner for another attempt to get money from me.
The fact he’s ruining what I’m trying to build for myself is low. Then again, he fucked my sister during our engagement party. What did I expect?
Once upon a time, I thought he loved me.
And even with all his manipulative ways visible in hindsight, I thought there was at least a time he respected me. Saw me as a partner instead of a piggy bank, an object he could own.
I was wrong. And now all I can do is wait for the justice system to do its thing. Sit on my ass until I hopefully get a restraining order and can at least call the cops on him if he gets too close.
But who knows how long that will take? Or if it even goes through? What else is he planning to make me miserable in the meantime?
I watch Lauren and Kieran through the window. They’re joking, grimacing at Caleb, trying to draw a reaction from him. Not a care in the world, while I’m emotionally tumbling like someone pulled the ground from under my feet.
I’m so fucking angry.
Even though a piece of bread has more empathy than the people who created me, my heart still yearns for a mom to rage with. A dad who would pull up his sleeves and go to war for me.
I’ll never have that.
It doesn’t matter. I take a deep breath and square my shoulders. I don’t need anyone but my cats, the people in Caleb’s café, and Henry. Well, and his dog.
I’ll be all right. But it still really. Fucking. Hurts.