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“He starts talking to the contacts he has in Iraq. You’ve seen the news about prisoners and people that are held for ransom. You know that there is a lot of intervention when this happens. Lots of unnamed sources. The politicians, maybe even the president get involved.”

“It takes a long time, but at least there would be hope, which is something we can’t count on,” Rebecca said.

“No, we can’t. I’m sorry, Becca. I hope there is news. I hope we get something definitive, but I think we have to prepare for the worst. It is the last thing I want to say to you,” Alex said and then grew frustrated. “What was Mitch thinking? You hadn’t even had a honeymoon yet. Why did he go?”

“He wanted to leave with integrity. He felt guilty about Lily. He wanted to make up for it.”

“I wish he had less integrity,” Alex whispered.

“I tried to stop him,” Rebecca whispered and then started to cry. “I wish I’d tried harder.”

Alex sat next to her, pulled her close, and held her tightly to him.

“I’m sorry, Becca. It isn’t your fault. Hell, Mitch thought he was doing the right thing. Ending his time at Donovan on a high note. I just can’t believe it. I’m here for you.”

“If there was ever a time I needed my big brother, it is now,” she said.

They sat around the flat and waited. They didn’t sleep. They barely ate. Alex paced. Rebecca cried.

The call from Nathan Kelly came two days later, and it wasn’t good news.

Alex ended the call and sank to the nearest chair. His hand covered his eyes as he struggled to process whatever the man had said to him.

Rebecca silently cried as she sat down in the chair next to her brother and felt his arms go around her in comfort and shared grief.

“What did he say?” she asked.

“They lost five men in the attack. The State Department has requested the return of what they found, but it is complicated because several of the men were British, so now it is a joint negotiation. This isn’t the news we wanted.”

“Which means Mitch might never come home,” Rebecca said.

“If they are able to identify his remains, it will take time. They aren’t sure that Iraq will cooperate.”

“Then they are sure that he didn’t survive?”

“The man started the call by apologizing for our loss.”

Rebecca crumpled, and Alex held her as they mourned the man who had meant so much to both of them.

After four more nights, Alex left. He asked her to come with him, but she had what seemed like an overwhelming list of things to do.

Alex needed to stay busy and volunteered to start calling Mitch’s friends.

They needed to have some sort of service for him, even if his body was never returned.

She couldn’t think of a final goodbye to her husband and asked Alex not to mention it again until she returned to Portland.

Mitch’s apartment was filled with his life. A life she had only recently started sharing. What would he want done with it? She had to talk to a lawyer. There were things to dispose of, and her life was in shambles.

A week later, she was checking tasks off her list. She went to the Donovan Security offices and was escorted into Lucien Donovan’s office, where he sat behind his desk and rose to greet her.

She was still in shock but aware enough to know that she didn’t want him to hug her. She stuck out her hand and shook his.

“How are you holding up?” he asked. His question was flat, emotionless. Was he upset about losing Mitch and four other employees? She didn’t think so, but to her, it wasn’t business. It was personal.

“Not well,” she said as she sat down.

“You must be wondering if you are in the middle of a nightmare,” he said as he perched on the edge of his desk. “Have you found any additional information?”

“I don’t wonder. I know I’m in the middle of a nightmare, and I’m angry.

My brother talked to the embassy, but they couldn’t tell him much.

I feel abandoned,” she said robotically, thinking about how in the last week, she hadn’t slept more than two hours a night.

One moment, she was a happy bride who was going to have a baby in a with the love of her life.

Now, she was a shell of herself. Life outside had turned pretty awful.

And this man, this horrible man in front of her, had sent Mitch to his death. A part of her wanted to hurt him.

“It has been grim around the office, as you can imagine. Many sad stories.”

She nodded but said nothing.

“We got a few of Mitch’s things from his desk and office that I thought you’d like to have,” Lucien said as he got up, moving to the side of his desk and producing a small cardboard box.

“Thank you,” she said as she glanced in the open box.

Looking up at her was a photo of Mitch and Lily, obviously at an outdoor garden party.

Mitch had his hand around Lily’s waist, and she was looking up at him longingly.

It was probably taken a month or two before Rebecca and Mitch found each other again.

Silently, she turned over the photo, so they weren’t smiling up at her.

She also noticed a black pen with the telltale white star top, the Mont Blanc that her mother had given to Mitch.

It was all she could do not to break down at that moment.

“We hope to have his luggage and personal items that were with him in the hotel in Riyadh returned in the next few weeks. Would you like to have them back?” Lucien asked.

“Yes, of course, but I’ll be in the United States. Can you please send them to me?”

“Yes, just give me an address,” he said, placing a tablet and pen on the desk in front of her and next to where he sat.

“Thank you,” she said and had to think of the address before addressing it to her mother and father’s penthouse in Portland.

“I just have a few papers for you to sign,” he said.

She set down her pen, not understanding, and said, “Excuse me?”

“Every employee of Donovan Security has a two-million-pound life insurance policy in case of something like this. It goes to the surviving spouse. It is above and beyond the Defense Base Act that will also be offering you compensation for foreign contract workers because Mitch was an American. Odd. Did you know the Defense Base Act is actually an extension of the Longshore and Harbor Workers’ Compensation Act, which provides coverage to private employees who are engaged in paramilitary overseas activities?

So, finances won’t be a problem for you. ”

What? She should be celebrating her windfall? Rebecca didn’t remember standing. One minute she was sitting, and the next, she was face to face with Lucien Donovan. “How dare you say such a thing to me after I lost my husband?”

“I’m just stating the facts,” he said, holding out his arms in mock surrender. She saw something in his eyes she didn’t like. Glee.

“As far as I’m concerned, you can shove that money up your ass. I’m not signing a thing. Mitch only did this because you asked him to. He’d be alive if it weren’t for you. I’ll never forget what you did to him and to me.” She didn’t mention the baby. It wasn’t his business.

She turned and walked away. Rebecca would let her lawyer know about the life insurance, and then she’d put it in a trust fund for her baby.

She took a taxi back to the flat and sat on the couch, holding the Mont Blanc pen, and trying to hold it together. But in the safety of Mitch’s flat, she realized she didn’t have to hold it in. She let herself cry. All she needed to do was think of the baby, and the dam burst.

As Mitch’s wife, she became the owner of all that was his, but they hadn’t been married long enough for that to feel comfortable.

Many of the possessions he had accumulated happened when she wasn’t a part of his life.

She knew that everything she touched had sentimental value to Mitch, but she hadn’t heard the associated story, and now she never would.

It was heart-breaking in a whole new way.

There were a few things that looked older.

That evening, after her horrible day, her solution was to call her brother and see if he knew the backstory of some of Mitch’s possessions.

“I’m looking at an old stuffed animal dog, which appears to be a black lab,” she said. She held the dog to her and wondered how many times Mitch had done the same thing.

“His grandmother gave it to his mother when he was born,” Alex said.

Rebecca put it in the box to keep and thought about giving it to their baby in a few months. Then she said, “I don’t think you ever told Mom and Dad that you and Mitch went to Puerto Rico in college.”

Alex chuckled a little. “That brings back some memories. We went for spring break senior year. What did you find?”

“Photos, lots of incriminating photos,” Rebecca said, looking at a photo of Mitch and Alex drinking something that looked alcoholic under a Bacardi sign on a beach that announced: Welcome to Puerto Rico!

Mitch was so handsome. Had she ever fully appreciated what a wonderful person he was inside and out?

“Would you please put those someplace safe and bring them home to me?” Alex asked. “I’d like to have them.”

“What? I can’t show them to Mom?” she asked.

“No, Mom still thinks we stayed home and studied. Let’s not ruin her illusion.”

“Yeah, right. I wouldn’t bet on her not finding out. That woman has eyes in the back of her head,” Rebecca said, placing the envelope of photos next to the stuffed animal. “I just wonder what else I will find that speaks to your bad influence on my sweet husband.” Her voice was thick with emotion.

“Seriously, Becca, do you need any help? I could fly back over and be there tomorrow.”

“Thanks, Alex, but I’m fine. You were here in the beginning when I really needed you.”

“Keep telling yourself that, and you just might start to believe it.”

“I’m just trying to tie everything up here and get home. Then, once I get to Portland, all bets are off. Buy stock in Kleenex.”