Page 27 of A Little Christmas! 4: Song
“This is awesome,” Song declared. “Thank you for thinking of me. I hate missing games, but you’re right, I still wind up working on something while I’m watching them. I have a really hard time sitting still, especially when beats or images have my thoughts going in different directions.”
“Figured we needed upgraded seating too,” Papa said. “I don’t know about anyone else, but my ass was sore after game night, and not in a good way.”
Daddy chuckled at that. “Oh yeah, getting up was a challenge. These have back support too, which is a welcome change. I’m not a spring chicken anymore.”
“Nope, you’re an awesomely seasoned chicken, Daddy,” Zachy said. “Crackling, sizzling hot.”
Song giggled at that, loving the dynamic between them and the fact that they’d chosen to include him, out of all the unattached littles in the playroom.
“I think we’d better eat supper and let Song get his shower before we start exploring just how hot Daddy can get when one of his sassy boys starts giving him shit.”
As if on cue, Song’s belly gave another loud rumble, prompting Papa to wrap an arm around him and steer him back towards the kitchen. Since the table was already set, the only thing they needed to do was sit and start ladling food on their plates as Daddy started opening containers while Papa poured mugs of cocoa for them. While it was creeping up on ten o’clock and technically past the cutoff time for when they were supposed to have sugar, tonight was clearly special enough for their daddies to make an exception, especially if there was going to be cheesecake for dessert.
“Ohh, oh yum, this is amazing,” Song moaned after popping a clam strip in his mouth after dipping it in tartar sauce that was heavy on the dill and lemon. “Why have I never heard of Blondies before?”
“It’s a bowling alley infamous for its cheesecake and some of the best seafood this side of ever,” Zachy explained.
“No wonder I’ve never heard of it,” Song explained. “I’ve never gone bowling before.”
“We’ve gotta take you,” Zachy replied. “It’s so much fun.”
“Finally, someone who will be newer to it than I am,” Papa said, looking rather relieved. “I’d only played a handful of times before we got together, but Zachy and Gage are used to playing in leagues, meaning they kick my tail every time we head down there.”
“You’ve gotten so much better though, Papa,” Zachy insisted. “We don’t even have to put the railings up when it’s your turn anymore.”
“Thank the gods for that,” Papa said. “It was a smidge on the embarrassing side to have to pause for you to raise them while kids on the other side of us were bowling strikes with no railingsat it. It was starting to feel like I was playing pinball with how often my ball bounced off the railings before knocking over a pin.”
“Something tells me it will be fun as well as challenging,” Song said. “Those are the best kinds of games. I hate when things are too easy right off the bat. It’s always harder for me to get into something if I don’t have to struggle to catch on.”
“That’s a good attitude to have,” Daddy said. “I’m the same way. If I don’t have to try at something, I find myself rapidly losing interest in it. Something about the struggle just appeals to my stubborn streak.”
“I’m the same way,” Zachy said. “It helps that I love anything with repetition. It’s so soothing to fall into a rhythm with something that I’m always willing to put in the work to get to that place where I don’t have to think too hard about it. If I can just do it without any effort, my brain immediately wants to move on to something else that’s going to challenge it. That’s why I love making terrariums so much. The process is always the same, even when each vision is different. I love going to the craft store and studying all the different possibilities, knowing that I can work them in, even if they aren’t traditional materials, because I already know where in the process to add them to create the effect I see in my head.”
“I’m afraid I’m the odd man out on this one,” Papa revealed. “Anything that forces me to struggle to grasp the concept is usually a real challenge for me. I get self-conscious even when no one else is looking and mentally berate myself for not being able to catch on quickly enough. Zachy and Gage have spent a lot of time teaching me that it’s okay to struggle and to learn from the mistakes I make along the way, which has really helped me dial down some of my perfectionist tendencies.”
“That’s actually how I settled on the drums,” Song explained. “I’d always been drawn to the drummers in the bandsI loved. Watching them in videos and concert footage, they made it look easy, but I quickly realized that it was because they’d put a lot of time into honing their craft. The first time I sat behind a drum kit and started hitting those skins, it sounded like a crash of rhinos rearranging a teacup factory. I decided then and there that one day I was going to sound like the guys on the radio, even if that meant watching every tutorial I came across and listening to interviews too. There’s so much information in them about form, technique, and how to get in tune with the rhythm so you can start improvising on it that sometimes I’d listen to them over and over until I’d committed their words to memory. Once I had them ingrained in my brain, I found myself incorporating them into my playing without having to try to do things a specific way. It’s so easy to overthink and second-guess things.”
“Yeah, it is,” Papa said.
Something Song had always loved was the late-night meals he shared with his siblings, even if it was mostly just him and Solo most nights, since Suede tended to head to bed early due to the long and demanding hours he worked. Each meal here had been about catching up and conversation, even when he and Zachy were feeling more little than big. They always got to share and, in the process, learn more about one another without a lot of the sometimes-awkward question-and-answer sessions that always felt more like filling out a dating app questionnaire. Song had always felt more comfortable when things happened organically, like the way they’d come together after that first meeting in the playroom.
“I second-guessed a lot when Solo first started to encourage me to share my artwork online and offer it for sale,” Song admitted.
“Really?” Papa said. “What made you second-guess doing it?”
Song shrugged, ducked his head, and popped a shrimp in his mouth, chewing it while thoughtfully considering his answer. “Fear, mostly. I knew Solo wouldn’t have encouraged me if she didn’t truly believe other people would like them, but I’d also seen how shitty people could be on the internet, and I was still feeling a bit fragile and insecure about my art. I wanted the praise, and I definitely needed the sales so I could contribute more to the household, but the thought of getting trolled or having someone write a lengthy breakdown on all the things they felt was technically wrong with it made me want to keep it all to myself.”
“How did you get past it?” Zachy asked.
“With help from my old boss at the record store,” Song explained. “A friend of his was a comic book artist who’d worked on several dark, gritty publications. My boss asked if I’d be okay with him dropping in one day and looking at my work. It took a little convincing, but in the end, I decided that I’d rather have a private critique from someone knowledgeable enough to point out the things I needed to work on while hopefully offering constructive criticism and positive feedback too. Always hated when my teachers harped on everything that was wrong with something without ever taking the time to leave comments on the things that were done well. I felt like they just left me twisting in the wind sometimes with no clear way of proceeding with the next assignment, so I said okay. Turned out to be the best confidence boost anyone had ever given me up until that point. Not only did he give me pointers on how I could improve my tones, shades, and overall compositions, but he also took the time to talk to me about all the things he felt I’d nailed and what made them stand out for him. His words allowed me to polish the pieces and feel confident about them when I finally did create a website. I’ve still been trolled a few times, but by the time it happened, I was easily able to recognize that it was a trolland just ignore them. When they realized that they couldn’t get a rise or even a response out of me, they moved on and didn’t come back.”
“We get those at conventions sometimes,” Zachy said. “People who show up just to heckle and be rude. It’s hard to ignore them and not take it personally. Daddy just calls them sad little people so bitter and disappointed in the way their lives are going that they feel the need to spread their misery to someone else.”
“Yeah,” Song replied. “We get them in the crowd at shows sometimes too. Decon is finally beginning to learn how to tune them out.”
“Good for him,” Daddy said. “That kind of behavior has, unfortunately, grown as widespread as the flu. The best way to deal with those sorts of people is to ignore them. Responding only eggs them on and makes them feel seen and even validated, especially if someone is videotaping the encounter. Some folks are always on the prowl for a good bandwagon to jump on and, for whatever reason, see someone defending themselves as a good excuse to add their two cents, usually in favor of the instigator. It just isn’t worth the headache to engage with them.”
“Especially when they claim everything is horrible and still keep coming back,” Papa said. “I’ll never understand what the point of that is.”