Page 20 of A Little Campfire Blues (Pride Camp 2025 #10)

Chapter Seventeen

Axis

The storm ushered in two days of heat and sunshine, which we spent mostly on the lake, relaxing on the floating island, swimming, diving, and lazing about all day, before retreating to the cabin for movies, playtime, and story time with Daddy Mack reading to us.

Daddy Mack.

In my head I could say it without feeling a twinge of fear and uncertainty, but I still felt cautious about saying it out loud and accepting everything he was still trying to offer me.

He was right, though. I’d never be able to trust in his feelings if I couldn’t see any worth in myself.

I knew I was gonna struggle with that for a while.

I’d been struggling with it all my life.

Tonight, we were inside, with Thor on and a crate of Marvel action figures we’d emptied on the floor to divide between us.

“Daddy gets to be Thor!” Ezzy declared. “Since he looks a little like Thor, especially when he gets fierce and frownie.”

“Daddy wouldn’t have to get fierce or frownie if a certain little Sparkle Butt wouldn’t scare Daddy half to death hurtling off things, or in this case, letting someone fling him in some crazy human cannonball contraption.

You better believe that camp management made those littles dismantle that thing and promise not to build anything like it during the remainder of their time here. ”

“But I flew all the way out into the lake,” Ezzy declared.

“Yes, you did, and took a year off my life with it,” Daddy said.

“Mine too,” Ro replied, as I buckled his headpiece on.

As soon as I got it fitted, he threw his head back and howled. He’d gotten into full pup gear tonight, and I was excited to see what he’d do once we started playing.

“Puppy!” Ezzy declared, leaving the Thor figure with Daddy before bounding over to hug Roman, who immediately started wiggling his rear to make his tail wag.

Tonight I’d put on my black and purple onesie.

It had feet, and a hood, and everything.

Both sides had the same print of moons, roses, and coffins; only one side was purple, and the other was black.

It was one of my favorites and one I snuggled up with around my apartment whenever I wanted to lounge around, brood, and see how many movies I could binge in an afternoon.

Daddy had called it; I did brood a lot. I even looked for broody places I could hunker down in when I was in a mood.

I shouldn’t be in a mood here in this amazing place, especially when we were having so much fun playing and cutting loose.

Yet every morning, I looked for a new place to scowl and work on lyrics.

These past few mornings, Ezzy had gone with me, with his own backpack full of pens and notebooks, to work in the silence of the morning not far from wherever I sat.

Hands settled on my shoulders, and I nearly jumped out of my skin before I realized it was just Mack.

When had Daddy moved? He’d been clear across the room a minute ago?

Only when I focused on the television did I realize that more than a few minutes had passed.

We were already in Asgard with all the glittery gold buildings and clouds. Guess I’d gotten lost in my head again.

I felt a light tug on my hoodie as Daddy tugged it down and buried his hands in my hair, fisting the strands, tugging lightly, and forcing me to sit up straighter as he leaned in and sniffed my hair.

“How do you still smell like rain?” He growled. “Even after all the swimming and showering off the leaf debris, you still smell like rain.”

“Sounds almost like song lyrics when you say it like that,” I moaned, letting my head tilt back completely as he started massaging my scalp.

“Good, think of it as a song and get lost in it,” he told me. “You did such a good job helping Roman get ready. Did it help you a little to focus on someone other than yourself?

“Yeah,” I murmured. “I couldn’t think about other stuff while I was doing it.”

“But when you stopped, your thoughts started swirling.”

“Just a little.”

“Let’s get that part to stop completely so daddy’s little Lightning Bug can relax and enjoy the evening.”

Blinking, I sat there stunned while he trailed his fingers through my hair as the words sank in.

Last night we’d finally gotten to chase the lightning bugs along the edge of the pond after we’d come in from swimming, and when they’d all gone away, I’d held my flashlight beneath my chin, blinking it on and off while Ezzy and Ro chased me around until we were all exhausted.

Earlier in the day, Roman had gotten a nickname too.

His was Water Bug, and it truly fit him.

Until a moment ago I was scared that I wasn’t gonna get one.

Now I spun into Daddy’s embrace, tugging my hair a little in my rush to hug him.

If he’d been near the top, it would have really hurt.

As it was, I wrapped some around my neck as I spun and choked myself a little.

He hugged me back just as tight and hard, stroked my hair, and murmured in my ear, making me shiver and press tighter to him.

“I just needed to find the right one.” He said, nuzzling my neck.

Melting against him, movie forgotten, I stayed that way as the whirlwind inside my head began to settle.

Yes, I was insecure, and I hated it. Deep down I still felt like I needed to do something, anything, to show that I could be special too, only now I wasn’t sure who I wanted to prove it to more, my folks or me?

I guess the real problem was that I couldn’t see myself as more than spare parts and a donor supply for my brother.

Daddy was right. Until that changed, nothing ever would.

All this time, I’d stayed away from there because I hadn’t wanted to run into them until I had something positively amazing to share.

But did I really want pride to keep me away from Ezzy and Roman once they got home or from joining in on fun times with Daddy when he visited?

It was less than a two-hour drive from Portland to Eugene, especially with the way I drove.

Maybe I couldn’t join for Friday nights and Saturday, but if I took off after a show on Saturday night, I could get there in time for story hour and have all of Sunday to spend with them. That would be something at least.

Or you could just bite the bullet and go home!

The voice in the back of my head was loud today, constantly trying to remind me that there were plenty of clubs that would love to have me play in and around Eugene.

My online work, including the voice acting and the jingles, could be done from anywhere, and again, the distance was close enough that I could drive to Portland whenever I felt like playing a bigger venue.

It was possible.

But I’d wait to see how things unfolded a few weeks down the line, once we’d gotten back to our daily lives.

Mack could easily decide that he wasn’t up to the task of maintaining a long-distance relationship with three different people, and a little part of me was scared that Ezzy and Ro would blame it on me.

For the rest of the time we were here, I’d work harder at being less complicated and difficult if I could only stay the fuck out of my head.

Even leaning against Mack I was thinking too hard, but if he noticed, he didn’t say anything. He just steadily stroked my hair, low, rumbling sounds coming from him that sounded almost like…wait…it was a song. He was singing to me.

Focus on that, not anything else.

At least this time the voice in my head was attempting to be helpful.

Focus on that.

Focus on the music.

Now that I had always been able to do.

Closing my eyes, I gave myself over to the rolling timber and the rise and rumbling fall of the notes.

The best part was that pressed against him, I could feel the melody along my skin.

It made the hair on my arms stand up, and prickles surge up my spine like rolling spirals of electricity, until it curled up the back of my neck and made me shiver.

Someday, I’d try and put this feeling to music, the tidal wave of endorphins whiting out everything else whirling around in my head.

Flattening all thought, it let me dial in on Daddy’s voice.

Daddy wanted to play with me.

And Daddy’s Little Firefly wanted to play with him and my friends. Slowly, I let the song help me tuck my big boy problems away. We both knew they weren’t gone, but I needed to let them go for now; put them on the shelf with all the stress and worry.

Like picking up toys. The time for big boy things was over.

“Can I be the Winter Soldier?” I asked, slowly drawing back from Daddy to see him smile at me.

“I think so; I’m almost certain I saw one in the crate when I packed it,” Mack said as he smoothed the hair back from my face. “Let’s go see if we can find it.”

“Thank you, Daddy!”

It felt amazing to see the smile that word put on his face, and my little butt wiggled as I crawled away from him to search through the toys on the floor. He caught up to me and pulled my hood up, the two coffin-shaped ears at the top bobbing as I continued my search.

“Here he is!” I declared, holding him over my head and waving him so Ezzy and Ro could see too.

“Winter Soldier!” Ezzy cried. “I’m gonna be Captain America!”

He wiggled past me to search for the action figure while Ro pounced me and pinned me to one of the couch cushions we’d spread around.

“Woof, woof!” He barked, rubbing noses with me and nuzzling.

I rubbed his ears and scratched behind them until he finally let me up, only to whirl around and smack me in the face with his tail as he snatched up an action figure before bounding away to claim a pillow.

It took us a while to all get settled. By then, Thor was already wrecking trees and people with his hammer, so Daddy made his Thor fly through the air and knock over a stack of Jenga blocks still piled up from our last game.

Ezzy squealed and clapped while I giggled, and Daddy had Thor fly high above the mess.

“I’ve vanquished thee, foul pile of wood!” Daddy growled in his best Thor voice, waving his hammer over them like he was daring one of them to move.

“Ruff! Rurrrrrrrr! Ruff! Ruff!” Ro cried, with Deadpool’s dog Peggy clutched in his paw.

He bounced her over to the fallen Jenga pieces and pressed her face to them like she was gnawing on a chunk.

Ezzy crawled over with Captain America, and we hunted for the Red Skull figure.

Once we had him, Ezzy sat Captain America on top of him, pinning him down, while I crawled around, looking for something to tie him up with.

Daddy’s shoelace was in his boot, but I tugged it free and dragged it back so the Winter Soldier could tie him up while Captain America kept him pinned.

Villain vanquished, we looked for more wrongs to make right and spotted Daddy tickling Ro, who was squirmy and wiggling around on his back, four paws waving as Daddy tickled his belly.

“Evil tickle monster!” I declared.

“Save Ro!” Ezzy cried as we crawled as fast as we could with our action figures to tackle Daddy.

We tickled him for tickling Ro and discovered Daddy had ticklish spots. His belly, behind his knees, and the inside of his elbows. Roman got in on the tickling too, the three of us pinning Daddy to the floor as our laughter filled the cabin.

“I give, I give, Thor has been vanquished,” Daddy cried. “By the halls of Valhalla, stop this infernal tickling!”

Ro and I tickled more, while Ezzy flew Captain America high over Daddy’s squirming body.

“Do you yield to the shield of Captain America!” Ezzy asked.

We paused to see how Daddy answered, only when I looked up, I could only cock my head and study the toy they held, ‘cause something was missing.

“Ruff! Ruff! Ruff!” Ro barked, tail wagging as he batted his paw at the shield Ezzy had dropped on one of the blankets.

Ezzy’s face grew pink as they scooped it up and snapped it back over Captain America’s arm. “Now are you ready to yield to the shield, Daddy!” Ezzy announced, while Daddy snickered and slapped a hand over his eyes.

“I yield,” Daddy muttered. “But I really wish I had a video of that, Sparkle Butt. I bet it would get a million laughs and smiley faces.”

“It just did get all the laughs,” Ezzy declared. “Yours are the only ones that matter.”

We let Daddy sit up so he could hug Ezzy, then Ro and I knocked them over with a hug so we could get in on the cuddles too.

We ended up squishing them to the cushions where we could all watch the movie for a little bit.

Daddy slipped his hand beneath my hood and petted my hair, his other hand stroking up and down Roman’s back as Ezzy lay snuggled up against his side, their head on Daddy’s chest. Everything felt warm and comfy, like the biggest hug I’d ever received.

“It looks like my boys, with the help of their faithful hound, have vanquished Thor and claimed Asgard as their personal cuddle space,” Daddy declared. “Long live the lords of Asgard. Sparkle Butt, Firefly, and Water Bug!”

Ezzy and I giggled and cheered at hearing that, while Roman barked and pawed Daddy’s chest until Daddy rubbed his ears again.

“I’m not moving from this spot for a while, am I?” Daddy asked.

“Nope!” I said, sighing as he stroked my hair some more.

“You’re our prisoner, Daddy,” Ezzy declared, draping an arm across his abs and squeezing him.

“Rurf!” Roman barked, short and sweet.

“Well, that was a no if I ever heard one,” Daddy muttered, chuckling as he wiggled, just a little, before letting out a soft sigh. “Not a bad place to get stuck, if I’m being honest.”

I felt Daddy relax beneath us and settle down until we were ready for more adventure with our action figures. As I got cozy and finally settled in to watch a chunk of the movie, all I could think was…

Best. Feeling. Ever.