Page 44 of A Life Diverted
“It is comforting to know how Ellie was accepted and befriended during the years she was away from us,” Barney stated as his eyes followed his younger sister.
“Do you know that I, like most in the family accepted that Ellie had been murdered? I, we, should have never done that; we should have kept on…” He stopped speaking when Miss Lucas, Charlotte, placed her right hand on his arm.
“Barney, you need to learn part of your sister’s philosophy.
Eliza likes to say that she only remembers the past as that remembrance gives her pleasure,” Charlotte shared.
“It is, I believe, given what she used to think, part of the reason that she would not allow herself to keep the memories of her past alive from before she came to the Bennets. As far as the guilt you feel, it is understandable but misplaced.”
Charlotte’s words soothed him, but Barney looked at her questioningly regarding her final statement.
She did not miss the quizzical look, so Charlotte explained why she had said what she had. “It was well past six months before your father and others in your family began to accept that your sister had been murdered, was it not?”
With a nod, Barney allowed it was so.
“If what I have heard is correct, exhaustive searches were undertaken in the shires surrounding Derbyshire.” Charlotte saw another nod.
“Not a single trace of Eliza had been found; all the reward did was bring a stream of charlatans to your door, each one increasing the pain your family was already suffering.” She saw that her statement was accepted as nothing but the truth.
“Then in order to have some semblance of normalcy return to your family, what choice was there? And before you say it, a mother is different. I understand that even though Mrs Wendell refused to accept her daughter was dead, she had accepted she would never see her again; is that not true?”
“It is,” Barney agreed. “Are you saying that I should not feel guilt for that over which I had no control?”
“Exactly!” Charlotte exclaimed. “And more than that, if you had this same conversation with Eliza, she would tell you the same thing I did.” She paused as she thought about something. “You would not like to cause your sister any pain would you?”
“Of course not! Anything but,” Barney replied vehemently.
“If she thinks that you and others are feeling guilt over something which is not your fault, she would not be happy. It is time to heed your sister’s words and look to the future, not to the past,” Charlotte advised.
“You are a very wise lady,” Barney said as he inclined his head to her.
“With age comes wisdom,” Charlotte responded self-deprecatingly. She was about to make a comment about her being plain—as some matrons in the area called her—and old, but she decided that would have been too much.
“I believe we are of an age, so if you think yourself old, then I must be as well,” Barney replied with a grin. “You are a handsome woman in the bloom of your youth.” He saw the deep blush. “Please pardon me if I overstepped in saying that to you.”
“Please do not make yourself uneasy; I have no objection to such being said about myself, even if there are others in the area who would disagree with you.”
“Then, in my humble opinion, they are blind, or if they denigrate your looks, age, or both, they have ulterior motives. More than likely such comments, if they are made, are borne out of jealousy.”
Charlotte felt herself blush again. She felt an attraction to Eliza Wendell’s brother.
She told herself they had just met, and a compliment or two were not indicators of any particular regard on his part.
She was, however, determined to see if anything beyond being common and indifferent acquaintances would develop between them. Only time would tell.
“What agriculture is there at Glenmeade?” Charlotte enquired to change the subject to a more neutral topic.
“Where we are, the land is relatively level for our part of the world. You can see some of the Peaks from the estate. There are herds of sheep, cattle, and goats. We use a four-field crop rotation system. Hence, much of what we cultivate when a field is fallow are things which grow easily and help return nutrients to the soil, like turnips, for instance, and can be used to feed the livestock in the winter months. I am sure you are aware that our winters are longer and colder than where you live, are you not?”
“Indeed, I have learnt about that. It would be good to see the peaks.” Charlotte cogitated. “Your parents’ estate, Willowmere, is in Derbyshire, is it not? ”
“You are correct.”
“Is there a good view of the Peaks from the estate? I have never travelled further than London, so I have no point of reference.”
“Willowmere is close to Matlock, which is in the foothills of the Peaks. We are about five miles distant from both Snowhaven and Pemberley.” Barney saw that Charlotte did not know the other estate names.
“Snowhaven is Aunt Elaine and Uncle Reggie’s primary estate.
Pemberley is the ancestral estate of the Darcys.
There is a view of the Peaks from all three estates.
The estate I am to inherit is not the only family estate in Staffordshire.
My cousins Emily and Andrew live at Hilldale, which is barely two miles from Glenmeade. ”
“How pleasant it is to have family living so close to one another.”
“That is true for the most part.” Barney grinned again. “Family can vex one another, but thankfully that is a rare occurrence.”
From experience with her brothers, Charlotte was aware the statement was accurate. “At least with each of you having your own estates, you are able to retreat when and if needed.”
“That is not true for David, but he, Mother, and Father rarely have any serious disagreements. David, more so than any other, prays it will be multiple decades before Willowmere is his.” Barney looked across at his younger sister again.
“Like she did for her Grandmama Beth, I am sure that Ellie will increase my parents’ and, hopefully, my Uncle Stephen’s will to live. ”
Now it was Charlotte’s turn to look quizzically. She understood why Barney would say that in reference to his parents. “Why your uncle?” she asked.
“He and my late Aunt Adelle took Ellie’s loss very hard. Then about a year later…” Barney related his uncle’s heartache to Charlotte. “It is only now that he has seen that Ellie is alive an d well that I see some of my old fun-loving uncle emerging once again.”
“I understand why you and your parents did not want him to sign the estate over to you earlier. You thought he would give up and waste away, did you not?” Now Charlotte understood what Barney had referred to earlier about when the estate would be his.
Barney nodded. “Now tell me about your family. I have met your parents and younger sister, but you have brothers, do you not? So far I have not had the pleasure of meeting them.”
“I am not a good one to judge it is a pleasure,” Charlotte teased.
“I have an older and younger brother. “Franklin is more than two years my senior, and Johnathan, we call him Johnny, is about three years my junior. You already know they attended the superior university. They have been away at an estate in the south to choose some new riding horses for Lucas Lodge. They will return by the end of this week.”
“They sound like estimable men, well, except for their unfortunate choice of school, that is.” Barney used a put-on haughty voice.
Charlotte giggled. She placed her hand before her mouth, and Barney joined her with a soft laugh which came from the belly. Neither realised how long they had been speaking exclusively one to the other, and the cold of the day did not bother them in the least.
Elizabeth had watched the conversation between her brother and Charlotte with pleasure, but most of the party were on their way to Longbourn for the post- church meal. The Lucases had been invited as well. It was time to leave.
“Charlotte, Barney, let us walk to the manor house where you may continue your conversation in the warmth,” Elizabeth sang with a wide smile.
The two being addressed looked up and blinked. Both felt embarrassed that they had been so lost in conversation and had not noted they were practically alone outside of the church. Charlotte blushed, and Barney’s ears turned red.
“Shall we?” Barney asked as he offered Charlotte his arm.
He was happy when she rested one of her dainty hands on his forearm.
“Well, are the rest of you coming instead of dilly-dallying about here?” He raised his nose in the air as he passed the other four and the companion.
Barney and Charlotte ignored the laughter behind them.
Elizabeth accepted William’s arm, Jane took David’s, and with Miss Weasley following, they walked behind Charlotte and Barney for the less than five minutes it would take to reach the manor house.