Page 20 of A Lethal Game of Trust

He’d given me what I needed. Something to take the edge off and stop me from returning to Jared for a one-night fix. The Belov siblings were right; I would have regretted it.

I already did the second I woke up and blinded myself with my phone screen, trying not to wake Issy sleeping next to me.

JACK: 1 MESSAGE.

VERA: 1 MESSAGE.

DEREK: 1 MESSAGE.

DO NOT ANSWER: 1 VOICEMAIL.

DO NOT ANSWER: 3 MISSED CALLS.

DO NOT ANSWER: 4 MESSAGES.

I ignored all of Jared’s messages. You could not pay me enough to listen to his voicemail.

But my heart raced at Derek’s text, always hoping it was some news. That Firdman would stay rotting in prison.

DEREK: I’ll let you know of any updates as and when I get them. Come over soon. We miss you.

LEONIE: I’ll be down for Issy’s birthday next weekend.

Every year, the summer was dedicated to the Belovs. Issy’s parents threw an extravagant birthday party for her and then, a few weeks later, their anniversary. They had been married for 30 years this year, so half of the city I grew up in would be invited. I managed to avoid the social events last summer, but that wouldn’t be an option this year.

Vera, Issy and Dom’s mother, was texting in excitement about one of Issy’s presents. That woman cherished her children like no other.

I opened Jack’s text with curiosity—one of Dom’s friends.

JACK: Dom told me he and Mia broke up. I’d still be up for our double date becoming a single date if you are?

Six months ago, the last time I’d seen Dom, we had attended an exhibition of his mother’s photography. Jack and I had exchanged a couple of glances, and Mia was giddy with excitement, saying the minute I finally dumped Jared, she was going to set us up.

It had taken some convincing from her before I finallyagreed.

Issy snored softly behind me, so I couldn’t even ask her what to reply. My thumbs danced above the keyboard.

LEONIE: I’d love to. What did you have in mind?

Then I lay there, overthinking my response. Had I sounded too keen? Too formal? Should I have suggested something for us to do?

Was I ready to date again?

When I started seeing Jared, it hadn’t been personal. I had no issue using people for my own gain. But he’d made it easy; he’d been the one to lead everything. He picked the dates, the venue, even my meals. Then life got complicated, and it looked like we would have to settle for each other.

Last spring, I’d fallen pregnant and swiftly fell into the dream of a family. One I wouldn’t have to rely on the Belovs for. Jared had been so happy and I got lost in the idea of actually loving the man. Then, in the summer, I had miscarried.

I lifted myself out of bed, dropped my feet into my slippers and went to the kitchen. There was no sign that Dom was awake, so I couldn’t get my towel or a change of clothes unless I wanted to get back in my flannel pyjamas.

Only one thing could save my pounding head.

I pulled out the waffle machine and went to grab the bananas out of the fridge for my smoothie when I checked the clock to see it was 8 am. Issy would wail from her room.

Coffee would have to do.

After making enough for the three of us, I washed the waffle maker’s plates and sat in front of the TV, deeply humiliated at the sight of the book I had grabbed last night sitting on the coffee table.Erotic Intelligence: How to PleasureYourself.

Kill me.