Page 18 of A Lady’s Guide to Scoundrels and Gentlemen (The Harp & Thistle #1)

A side from the McNabs, everyone had departed for the evening. Father complimented her hostessing while two footmen guided a stumbling and inebriated Bernard out to his carriage. Mr. Tewksbury left a polite kiss to the back of her gloved hand when he left, though Vivian privately noted it left no feeling behind. It was clear Mr. Tewksbury intended on courting her this summer, but she wasn’t sure what to think of that. Deep down, she didn’t like the idea, but there was no good reason why, especially now that she understood Dantes’s intentions in using her. But Mr. Tewksbury was an agreeable man, handsome, and he wasn’t desperate for her fortune. He was simply a widower who’d found interest in a spinster, and really, she should be so lucky.

Yet she found throughout dinner, instead of being absorbed by Mr. Tewksbury’s conversation as she should have been, she kept looking over at Dantes, who appeared as miserable as she felt. She missed him, though he was mere feet away. But his heart didn’t meet hers, and she couldn’t do a thing about it.

Victor approached her, pulling her back to the present. “Dantes and Ollie are leaving now. However, I still need to speak business with you.”

She glanced over at the brothers hovering near the door. “Very well. Give me a moment and I’ll be right back. Help yourself to a drink if you wish.” She glanced in the direction of Gran’s old trusty bar cart and followed the brothers out into the hallway and to the large, carpeted entryway. Ollie gave her a hasty thanks before dashing outside as fast as he could. Dantes remained behind.

Vivian took a deep breath. All evening, she had been going over what to say upon his departure. She wanted to be angry with him, wanted to blame him for her unhappiness and for their disagreement, but the only person to blame was herself. “Dantes, I want to apologize for earlier. You have been clear from the beginning where your heart is in all of this. It was foolish of me to hope that would change and I should never have expected you to.”

After preparing herself for that apology, after all of the intensive word crafting she’d done to ensure she was clear in her communication, all he did was ignore it. He merely looked at her with his forced blank face and changed the subject. “You’re going to marry Tewksbury, aren’t you?”

She shook her head in an attempt to shake away the irritation. “That’s a rather bold assumption when I haven’t received one single proposal from anyone.”

A muscle in his jaw ticked. “Very well. Marry me, Vivian.”

She gasped and her eyes went wide.

“You heard me. You want a proposal? Then marry me.” Dantes stepped forward, now so close even in the low light she could see a single loose thread from a buttonhole.

Her eyes closed at the sensation of his nearness. She wanted nothing more than his touch, but it was his heart that she needed. It was so tempting to say yes to his offer, but she couldn’t do it. It broke the only rule she set for marriage: never marry a scoundrel.

“Why do you insist on torturing me?” Frustrated, Vivian asked the question louder than she’d meant to, her voice cracking in the desolate space. She had to take a few steps back because his closeness was fogging her mind. “You would go so far as to marry me, just to keep someone else from loving me? You don’t love me, Dantes—you don’t really want to marry me. Why stand in my way of happiness, then?”

“Vivian—” Dantes’s eyes flashed with something she couldn’t place, and he turned away. But why? What was it this infuriating man wanted?

She shook her head again with disbelief. “No. Stop. If you do love me, tell me. Please. Because I’m not talking about this anymore.”

“You know I can’t do that.”

“Why?!”

He spun back around. “Because I’ll lose you!”

“You’re already losing me!”

His jaw clenched and he shoved his hands into his pockets.

“I know how I feel,” Vivian continued. “And if you asked me to, I would run around Hyde Park yelling it out to everyone, not caring what anyone thought. And you know what? It would be easy for me to do—meek, little old me!”

“Don’t say you’re meek. You aren’t, by any stretch of the imagination.”

She ignored him. “That’s how I know no matter what you say to me, you and I are in two vastly different places. And that is unfortunate, but it isn’t good for anyone to pretend otherwise.”

A long pause stretched between them. “Do you love me, Viv?”

“I thought you didn’t like people saying that.”

“A yes or no would suffice.”

How was she supposed to answer this? Why would she expose herself to further hurt merely to prove a point?

“One hundred years from now…” There was a faint shake in his voice. “You and your family will be remembered, locked into Britain’s history for eternity. I’ll be forgotten and lost to time, along with my pub. Here I am, some lad who grew up in the slums, with the face of a monster, trying to figure out what is going on with the daughter of a duke, a woman who could find a gentleman far superior to myself. Why would you hold any affection for me ?”

“Surely, you don’t see yourself like that!”

“Of course I do. It’s the blasted truth, isn’t it?”

“No, it’s not!” Vivian shot back sharply. “And people only talk to me now because of what my grandmother gave me. I mean nothing to this aristocracy you keep insisting I’m so important to. And, anyway, what do you care? You don’t really want me anyway! You’ll get over it quick. Go find comfort in one of your other women!”

Dantes narrowed his eyes. “‘Other women’? What in the blazes are you talking about?!”

“From the pub! You own a pub and I’m sure they’re just crawling all over you every day!”

“There are no other women!” He growled. “Ever since you walked into my pub, I haven’t even wanted to look at anyone else!”

Her mouth opened ever so slightly, but she quickly shook it off.

He continued with a leveled voice. “Now, you say you would run through Hyde Park declaring how you feel for me, but you can’t even give me a simple yes or no about it. I need to hear it from you, Vivian. I need that run through Hyde Park.”

Everything was swirling in her head at once, her heart racing with emotion, with confusion. Why was he asking her to do this? Why couldn’t he go be a scoundrel and make this easier?

Vivian broke eye contact. “I must go speak with your brother. Have a good evening, Dantes.” And she spun around and rushed back to the drawing room without a glance back.

Upon her return, Victor poured a glass of whiskey and handed it to her. “You look like you could use this.”

She took it, thanked him, and shoved the last few minutes out of her mind. “I’m not one to spend an entire day socializing and it’s taking its toll.”

“And also, my brother is idiotic.”

She couldn’t help but give him a small smile at this.

They sat in facing chairs and Victor, thankfully, got right down to business. It was rather simple, really. He needed a loan to cover the remainder of what insurance wouldn’t.

“And are you hoping I will loan the money to you?” Vivian sipped her whiskey, wanting to be sure she understood what he was looking for.

Victor shifted in his chair. “I was hoping you could give me advice on approaching the bank. It’s a large amount.”

She studied him for a moment, then set the glass down. In truth, Vivian had enough funds to gain miniscule respect at the bank. However, she remained a woman, and her father—who would be happy to help—was a duke. It would be far more prudent to enlist his help, as much as she hated to admit that. “Did you speak with my father at all tonight?”

“Not about this, but yes. We talked over dinner.”

“Good. I’ll set up an appointment for you to meet with him. He will be happy to help you get what you need.”

Briefly, Victor smiled. He was always so grumpy but was rather handsome when he allowed himself to show through. Vivian wondered why he held the weight of the world the way he did.

“May I ask you something?” she said suddenly. “Is it true none of you verbally express love for fear of losing people?”

Surprisingly, Victor immediately knew what she meant. “No. Dantes is superstitious about it. I don’t say it because I don’t want to. Why Ollie doesn’t say it, you’d have to ask him, but it’s likely the same reason. We’re not affectionate men, and for that, I apologize.”

The conversation was suddenly interrupted, however, when a loud rat-tat-tat echoed out from the street. As Vivian rushed over to the window to see what was happening, Victor flew to the ground and yelled at her to “Get down, you foolish woman!”

Before she could respond, an alarming whinnying of horses rang out. Shrieks and shouts came from people down on the sidewalk with their hands over their heads. Two horses were bucking while the driver of the carriage tried consoling the animals. But it wasn’t working. The driver ran to the sidewalk when the horses turned sharply, toppling the carriage with the incredible force only frightened horses could create.

Realizing this must be the carriage Dantes and his brother were waiting for Victor in, Vivian screamed.

*

As Dantes walked outside and headed toward Ollie, he took one last glance over his shoulder at Vivian’s grand Mayfair home. He felt rather pathetic in this moment—he had no home, no business, and he was trying to convince the woman who owned this place that yes, he did care about her and no, he wasn’t really a scoundrel.

Of course she’d said no to his proposal. He offered her nothing.

But he’d been so sure an offer of marriage would be a happy medium. He could learn to be happy to be married, couldn’t he? He could if it meant not losing Vivian. That way, he could get used to the idea of marriage, figure out the whole love business and expressing it. And once he was sure nothing would happen to her, maybe he could finally say the cursed words. But how long would that take? Months? Years? Decades?

Would he ever be able to say them?

Dantes sighed to himself as Victor’s carriage driver climbed down from the coach box to open the door. Dantes gave a nod to the driver as he climbed in.

Women were impossible to understand. He felt in his heart for Vivian. So what if it took time to say those words? They had their entire lives to figure it out. If she loved him, wouldn’t she be more understanding of why he hesitated? Victor always called him superstitious, and maybe he was. But he also had several good reasons to be.

“All right, Dantes.” Ollie climbed in, too, and sat on the opposite seat. “Tell me what happened today. Best go about it before Victor gets in if you don’t want to take the mickey from him.”

Dantes swore at his brother. Ollie crossed his arms in response. Knowing it was futile to argue any further, Dantes told him—a less pathetic version of it, at least.

“You’re an idiot.” Ollie shook his head. “You really are.”

“Thanks.”

“Well, you know what…? Christ. You’re helpless.”

A knock on the door caught their attention and it flew open. Dantes’s heart stilled when he realized a man pointed a gun at their driver…and then them.

“Good evening, fellas.” The man had a thick Irish brogue. “Hand over your money. Watches. Whatever you have, and we’ll all get out of this alive.” The weapon was held rather lazily—the man didn’t intend to use it—but that wasn’t what held Dantes’s attention. “Tommy Malone?” he said with caution.

The robber’s bushy eyebrows flew up to the heavens upon hearing his name. “Jesus, Mary, and Joseph! Edmond McNab?” His eyes flew over to Ollie. “And baby Oliver!” He giggled quite loudly at this, even patting his now-round belly.

“Who is this man?” Ollie hissed.

But before Dantes could explain, Tommy replied with glee. “Your brothers and me was in the same street gang, wee babe, back before your grandparents stole you all away.”

“‘Wee babe’?” Ollie replied with offense. “I’m bigger than you!”

But Tommy only found this to be funny, patting his belly again as his body shook with his high-pitched giggles. Tommy looked around the cabin. “Aye, you would be, as a McNab. But anyway, looks like you’ve done all right for yourselves. The wife is expecting me home soon. Hand it all over.” He held out a palm with a grin.

“Is he serious?” Ollie asked Dantes without taking his eyes off the robber.

“Yes.” Dantes pulled out his wallet, shooting a look to Tommy. “You know, I just lost my business and my home.”

“Aye, I heard. Better you than me.” Tommy shrugged, the gun still ready.

Dantes and Ollie handed over their belongings—luckily, nothing worth too much—and Tommy thanked them in earnest. “I have five wee babes of my own now. How about you, Edmond?”

“I never married,” Dantes replied darkly.

“And he sure won’t after tonight.” Ollie laughed. Dantes shot him a death stare.

“Ah, that’s too bad to hear, fellas. It’s been the best years of my life.”

Dantes lifted one eyebrow of disbelief. Tommy had been feral when they’d been kids and Dantes didn’t believe for a minute this man was happy with settling down into family life. If any of their group had been going to get killed before they hit adulthood, it would have been Tommy. He’d been the most unpredictable one of the bunch. Untamable. In fact, he’d done what he did now, walking around with a gun, pointing it at anyone and everyone to get their belongings.

“I don’t believe you, Malone,” Dantes retorted.

“’Tis the truth. Believe it or not, Edmond. Settling down with a sweet lass every night, knowing she’s always going to be there to love you? That’s the best part of it. Maybe I’ve gone soft, but every night before I fall asleep, I tell her how I love her so much, I’d steal the moon from the entire world if she asked.”

The man had become goose feathers. “If you say so, Malone. When we open back up, come by with the wife. I’d love to meet the woman who tamed you.”

Ollie shot him a look of alarm. “Are you serious right now?”

“Why not? He’s an old friend.”

“He’s pointing a gun at you, if you didn’t notice!”

Dantes merely shrugged. “You can keep an eye on him, then, if that bothers you.” Both Dantes and Tommy laughed at this.

Once their belongings were secured in Tommy’s pockets, he let the gun fall away. “Well, got to get on to the next carriage, fellas. Give Victor my regards. You know, he was the only one of you who really scared me.” And the door slammed shut.

A huge, mocking smile took over Ollie’s face.

“Don’t,” Dantes said with a deadly warning, knowing he was going to get an earful of Tommy and his moon. “I really don’t want to hear it.” Dantes slammed a fist into the seat. “Blast, I can’t believe Tommy Malone robbed me!”

“I can’t see you and Victor running around with him. And he was afraid of Victor ?” Ollie let out a bark of laughter.

“We were all different back then.”

“Apparently.”

A loud, ear-splitting bang cut through the air, causing panic and fear to slam through Dantes. Everything moved slowly as he threw himself over Ollie, who shouted in alarm. But just as Dantes covered him, something slammed into his body and screaming pain reverberated. The horses cried out and the two men were thrown to the floor and began to tumble around in the cabin.

In that moment, Dantes thought of his parents laughing together, Ollie as a cooing baby, Victor’s rage as he’d seen the stitches on Dantes’s face. But the final image he saw, the last thought he had before he was sure he was dead, was Vivian holding the yellow rose to her nose and smiling up at him.