Page 15 of A Lady’s Guide to Scoundrels and Gentlemen (The Harp & Thistle #1)

V ivian was reading in the drawing room when someone rang at the door once again, and after dropping the book in her lap, she let out a groan of frustration. Her chasers had heard she’d been spotted out shopping and had begun filling up her receiving room after several weeks of peace. The men had been a mere nuisance before, but now her patience was thin and she was enraged by them. And it drove her mad that she couldn’t simply tell them to go away. It was an infernal rule, that she couldn’t tell a visitor where she really wished for them to go.

For a long while, Vivian waited for Heaton to bring the calling card of her newest visitor, but when several moments passed and he didn’t show, she closed her book and set it to the side, confused. Who was here, then?

Suddenly, a man roared in anger, “Get out!” and the front door slammed shut soon after. The door to the drawing room flew open, banging into the wall, and Dantes stood there looking like a wild man.

“Dantes!” Vivian jumped to her feet in surprise. Briefly, behind him, was a flash of Heaton’s face of astonishment, and perhaps even a shred of respect, before Dantes closed the door and locked it to send a message to the butler. Do not disturb.

“I kicked them out.” Dantes turned back around, crossed the room with long intentional strides, then stopped before her.

She remained rooted in place, shocked by the way he’d just barreled into her house like this. “My chasers? You kicked out my chasers?”

“Yes. For today, at least. They’re a pathetic lot I’m sure will return tomorrow.” Dantes stared down at her with his intense, green gaze.

As her heart began to thump in response, he stepped away, leaving that strange, empty feeling behind, and angled over to the lit fireplace. It was this moment Vivian realized he didn’t have any sort of jacket on, only a brown waistcoat over his white shirt, as if he had rushed over in haste.

Nor had he shaved lately, either.

Curious, Vivian followed him and watched as he rubbed his palms together in thought, his jaw clenched tightly. His normally wild hair was absolutely feral. As she made this observation, Dantes rubbed his hands over his face before raking his fingers through his hair.

Ah, that was why.

“Is something wrong?” Vivian asked.

Dantes continued to watch the fire, chuckled. “The insurance adjuster came by today. I lost everything. In the most literal sense. Everything but the clothing I had on my back that evening is gone forever.” He glanced down at what he was wearing. “These clothes, specifically.”

A log in the fire popped as despair rose in her throat. “The photograph and your paintings?”

“Nothing more than charred rectangles now.” He gave her a half-crazed grin. “Want to hear the best part?”

Unease roiled in her stomach. “Do I?”

“Insurance won’t be covering it. Any of it.” Dantes explained what had happened, what Victor had done that had led to this.

Vivian listened as a good friend would but also wondered what she should do. Should she try to give him a hug? No, such contact would have been improper. “What are you going to do?”

“What can I do? I have to replace everything. Everything that’s possible to replace, that is.”

“That’ll be rather costly, won’t it?”

“Yes, it will.”

Was that why he was here? She looked down at her hands, ashamed to be such an oblivious fool. Of course that was why he was here. Dantes’s lack of response to her last letter, in which she’d written she missed him, was loud and clear in its silence. She forced a grin, though it hurt. “How much do you need?”

Dantes turned to fully face her. “What are you talking about?” But then his face reddened. “Oh, blast, Vivian, I didn’t come here to ask for money!”

“Then why are you here? I’m sorry for everything that has happened, Dantes, and I mean that wholeheartedly. It’s awful and no one should go through that. But…” That was it—she’d had enough of this confusing man. “Oh, you’re driving me mad! We leave on an argument, and when I’m sure I’ll never see you again, you start writing me letters. And I tell you I miss you and never hear back? Then completely out of nowhere, you come bounding into my house like a madman on a mission? What does that all mean?!”

He stepped closer to her, his face tight and grim. “ Why do you miss me, Viv? Why do you have to go and miss me when you’re looking for someone else?”

“See, this is what I mean!” This was exhausting. “What are you saying there, Dantes? We are friends, are we not? I do miss you, and I…” She swallowed. None of this was making sense.

“Why do you miss me, Vivian? Why ?” Dantes’s gaze sharpened, as if expecting Vivian to say something specific.

“I…I don’t know!” She threw her hands up. “I like when I spend time with you, even though those days often end terribly.” After shaking her head, she looked toward the window.

“That’s because I’m bad luck,” he growled low.

Vivian frowned at the strange comment but ignored it. “When I think of our time together, just you and me, those days always seem like favorite days, despite near-death experiences, despite injuries and public humiliation.”

“Because we’re friends, right?” There seemed to be a hint of sarcasm in his voice.

Her attention went back to him. “Well, yes. Maybe I’m being silly, but after these past few months, I feel as if we are good friends now. I dare say, you may be my dearest friend in the whole world.”

Dantes’s shoulders slumped, and he began watching the fire again. Maybe those were the words he’d needed to hear.

Feeling a little better about his demeanor, Vivian took a few cautious steps toward him.

“I think about you all day long,” he said, surprising Vivian and causing her heart to skip. “And I feel like a fool for it.”

Vivian smiled at his confiding in her. “Oh, Dantes, that’s nothing to feel foolish over.”

Dantes looked over at her with a blank face, but the worried lines, the wild hair, the unshaved stubble made him look tortured. “Of course it is. I’ve missed you, too.”

“You have?” Her voice hitched at this unexpected turn. She had assumed, based on his lack of response, that he hadn’t thought much of her at all. This admission created a strange light within her heart.

“Yes, but this wasn’t supposed to happen.” His eyes were becoming wider, wilder. “I’m supposed to help you find some gentleman who’s not a complete idiotic, useless cad, wave goodbye as you go off to your happily ever after with him, then return to my hole-in-the-wall pub and live happily ever alone for the rest of my life. Because that’s what I want. Do you understand? I want to be alone!”

She wrung her hands and nodded hard. She had felt similarly but was now wondering if she still wanted that at all. What did that mean? “I understand.”

“I’m not going to fall for you. I’m not going to marry you.” He put his palms to his forehead, as if he had a terrible headache. “I’m not doing any of that!”

Vivian’s heart hammered so hard in her chest, she could feel it in her ears. But as she stared up at him, this impassioned man, big and strong, a bit hairy, the embodiment of raw masculinity, instead of being irritated or boiling over with anger, it felt like warm honey was beginning to coat her insides. And it was bizarrely pleasant.

“Since the moment I first laid eyes on you…” Dantes took a step toward her. “I have been enamored of you. And I deny it to myself every single day. What’s the point of admitting it to myself? To you? But right now, with everything going on, I’m weak. And I can’t deny it anymore. I can’t deny it to me, or to you.”

“D-Deny what?” she asked on a whisper.

“I need you. Do you understand?” He pointed inward to himself. “ I need you , Vivian. Today. Right now.”

Dantes took another step closer to her, and her chest began to rise and fall hard with her breathing. Her head felt light under the almost predatory look in his eye.

“Someday, Viv.” Dantes tipped her chin up with a gentle hand. His heavy-lidded eyes studied her mouth. “You will marry someone else. But today, you are mine.”

Before she could even begin to think of how to respond, his hand fell away from her chin and his arm circled around her waist to tilt her back while his other hand cradled the back of her head. Vivian released a small gasp at this unexpected movement and Dantes angled his face down to hover warm lips over hers, lingering for a moment. It was like the time he’d kissed her hand, when he’d left space for her to protest. But far, far more intimate.

But there was no protest from her. Her mind melted into a puddle, and she dove headfirst into the moment.

Threading her arms back around his neck, she lifted her lips to his and Dantes pressed his mouth down hard against hers. She didn’t know what she was doing, and it seemed a bit strange when he opened his mouth, but she followed suit. On paper, dancing tongues seemed strange but right now, all she felt was that she had never experienced something so wonderful. But after a long, fiery moment, he stopped suddenly and put her back upright.

She faltered, but he held her steady.

Dantes stared down into her eyes. He had that strange, pained look again. “Your eyes. They’re blue.”

She couldn’t help but smile. “Yes, silly, you didn’t know that?”

“They’re so dark, I couldn’t tell until the sunlight hit them just the right way.” There was that flickering light inside of her again. A faraway warning.

She wasn’t foolish enough to ignore it. And as reality hit her, that Dantes had kissed her, that she had kissed him, panic began to rise. She was sorry he was in a bad spot, but what had just happened? She had to put an end to their flirtation. Like he’d said moments ago, he didn’t want to marry.

Not that she would ever entertain marrying a scoundrel, anyway!

This entire moment needed to be redirected. For both their sakes. And then, she would go on pretending that kiss had never happened. That was for the best. “After what happened with the insurance company,” she began, her voice sounding a bit too loud, “will you still be staying with Victor?”

“Yes. I can’t stay with Ollie. I would be a frequent…interruption. No, thank you.”

She laughed. “Well, you’re welcome to stay here. There sure is enough room.”

Upon these words, the remaining heat around them seemed to chill.

Dantes studied her with a sudden stony face. “Don’t you think that would be a terrible idea?”

Obviously, she wasn’t really serious. Of course Dantes couldn’t stay here. She may toe the line of propriety now and then, but even she wouldn’t cross something so blatantly scandalous. But that his reaction was so serious, instead of recognizing the obvious joke, bothered her. “Why?”

“I don’t think your future husband would be happy to know his wife has another man living at her house.”

She searched his eyes, having trouble believing what she was hearing. The obvious concern in such a scenario was it would make her and her family the laughing stock of the nobility. Yet Dantes’s concern was what some husband, who doesn’t even exist yet, would think of it.

But wasn’t this all silly of her? This stemmed from their agreement. One kiss, no matter how passionate, didn’t change that. There was a future husband out there. And her reputation did matter for that, because it was her goal, after all.

Yet minutes ago, he’d called her mine .

Goodness, the man was confounding and clouding her head.

“Very well.” Suddenly, she turned to the fireplace, doing her best to ignore the hurt that shouldn’t even have been there in the first place. “There is a flower show in May. Two weekends from now. I’ll be going. It’s up to you if you wish to accompany me.”

Vivian was hoping he would take this opportunity to slip out of her house without another word. She was wrong.

He came up behind her and placed heavy hands on her shoulders. “What do you want, Vivian?” he asked in a low voice.

It was foolish to deny to herself that he was growing on her. Recognizing that was protective, because she could navigate her mind and heart around it. But she also could never, ever, let Dantes know.

She wasn’t going to humiliate herself by answering his question. What would she even say, anyway?

“As I said…” She pulled away from him. “I shall be at the May flower show. I do have numerous letters I must get to immediately, Dantes. It’s time for you to go.”

But Dantes came around to face her, hands shoved in his pockets. With a face as hard as granite, he studied her for a moment. It appeared he had something else to say but then decided against it. He pulled his hands out of his pockets before leaving the room without another word.

As she watched the door shut behind him, she noticed something had fallen from his pocket. Curious, she went over to it.

Crouching down to snatch it up, Vivian gasped upon realization it was the black lace that had been torn from her ballgown.