Page 58 of A Lady of Means (Roses and Rakes #1)

Chapter Forty-Five

The guest list of the wedding of Lady M and the Duke of A was a more discerning list than the invites to Buckingham Palace. No one sent their regrets as this promises to be a spectacle. And the season has only just begun.

-Scandalous Lives of London

* * *

“It’s filling up. How many people did you invite?” Olivia asked, sitting on a chaise lounge opposite her sisters in the bride’s antechamber inside the cathedral.

Noelle inexpertly pinned a curl into Moria’s coiffure with the help of Ella. Ella took the pins from her and shooed her out of the way.

Kathleen handed Moria a glass of champagne. “On my wedding day, mother gave me a brimming glass of champagne and said, ‘though you’ve no reason to be nervous, I’m sure your nerves don’t know that and showed up anyway unannounced. So, drink up.’ And so I did. And so shall we.”

“Slange var, mum,” Olivia said, throwing back Lawrence’s flask to her older sister’s dismay.

Kathleen was the only one of Rosamunde’s daughters who’d get to have her on her wedding day. But she had the same red hair, same green-grey blue eyes, same soft smile, sharing her words of encouragement.

“Except not sure we can say the same on this occasion,” Moria said, tossing back half the champagne in one gulp.

“What reason have you to be nervous?” Olivia asked, eyes wide and worried. Then she broke into giggles and the inhabitants of the room all turned to look at her. “I’m only kidding.”

Noelle suddenly gasped and Moria spilled her champagne. A million hands went to dabbing, and it turned out she’d soiled the bench beside her and not her dress.

“Mind telling me why you’re gasping like that, sister; before you ruin everyone’s formal wear?” Moria asked, scooting to the edge of the bench.

Noelle made an apologetic face. “Sorry, I just thought…it occurred to me…” She started pacing, and Kathleen was urging her to continue while Olivia was making an X with her hands to tell her to stop.

Letitia was removing the cap from Lawrence’s flask for a hearty nip of her own.

Ella made a face at Moria in the mirror like she was trying to hide her laugh.

Loving these women and being loved by them, god, what would she do without them?

Moria took Noelle’s wrist, and her sister looked down at her and said, “What if he shows up here?”

Kathleen spit out her champagne. “I’m definitely missing something, aren’t I?” She looked between her three younger sisters, sighed. “I’ll do my best not to judge, just no more secrets and half-truths and lies by omission.”

Moria was still holding onto Noelle, this time her hand around two of Noelle’s fingers. “Devyn is alive.”

Kathleen was wide-eyed, turning to look at the door. “Did you switch grooms on us on the day of your wedding, Moria Pembrooke?”

Moria shook her head.

Olivia laughed, seemingly at the absurdity. She interjected, “But…does she have to choose? Is there a possibility to pursue a relationship…of sorts…with both of them?”

Noelle’s head was tilted to the side like she was trying to work out a complex math equation, Kathleen was rubbing her temples, Miss Kelley took a timely sip of her champagne as if to avoid speaking.

“Right, so what do you want, Moria?” Noelle asked gently.

No one had really ever asked her that, but Devyn had. Many times.

What is it you want?

How could it be that simple? It had never been simple, not a single day of her life.

When she’d been born with the face that she had, the position and family she’d been born into?

She wasn’t whining or complaining about it.

She knew she’d been hit with a much prettier fate than scores of women on earth at any given time in history.

But what she wanted hadn’t factored into things.

There had been times when she had done what she wanted, and the consequences had chased her down and held her there.

Moria was still, the only sound and movement she made was her calculated breaths.

What she wanted was-

“It’s almost time. Is she ready?” Jasper said from the doorway.

She was pretty certain her sisters were shooting daggers at him with their eyes and trying to clue him in that no, the bride was not, in fact, ready.

“Her veil isn’t on yet,” Kathleen said.

“Mo?” Jasper asked, and he kneeled down in front of her chair. His eyes were kind. They went a little more grey-blue when they were kind. When he was haughty and annoyed they were more jade.

“Do you not want to do this anymore?”

I will make you a duchess. You will have all that you want…You’ll have no one’s loyalty more than my own.

Moria shook her head. “No, I still want to.”

“Are you sure?” Noelle asked, the others cut her a look.

“I made him a promise,” she said as Kathleen finished pinning her veil in place. It had been made by their grandmother and worn by their mother.

“You made me a promise too.” Jasper said, squeezing her hands.

“I did?”

“No more martyrdom, remember?”

“Hardly martyrdom marrying a Duke,” Olivia said. “What? It’s true! He has over twenty-thousand pounds a year without the hefty dowry he was given for taking her off our hands.”

Moria looked to the collection of loyal supporters in front of her and nodded. “Olivia is right, the only way forward is through. Sometimes, you go far enough down a road, there’s no turning around.”

“It doesn’t have to mean what you think it has to mean,” Kathleen argued.

“I think it does,” Moria said, standing and immediately almost toppling over from the sheer weight of the skirts, train, and lace veil nearly as long as the train. Jasper steadied her.

“If you’re sure.”

Moria tried to take in a full breath, felt the whale bone stays constricting the movement, and took in short breaths through her nose. “I’m not sure of anything, but this is what I have to do.”

Ella fluffed her veil. Kathleen dabbed at her eyes, adding, “You’re already the most beautiful bride to ever….bride.”

Noelle placed a hand at Moria’s back. “Not if she doesn’t want to be one.”

Olivia grimaced. “She does though? Just to a different man.”

Don’t think of him. Don’t think of how his eyes go when you make him laugh, don’t think of the way he smells or the way his body looks beneath you. Don’t think of all the beautiful words he gave you from his beautiful soul.

She met her reflection in the mirror, straightening her shoulders.

Think of a different man. He’s the one you’re marrying.

“I love you, you know. All of you? I’m not good at it, saying how I feel.

I think I’m a little bit broken that way.

But thank you all sticking by me. You’re all that’s kept me getting up in the morning some days,” Moria gave them each a small smile.

“It was a long road to the altar, but you were the best travel companions a girl could want.”