Page 5 of A Lady Most Wayward (The Queen’s Deadly Damsels #5)

‘The Lord High Chancellor came to me the week after Percival Smithwick was arrested.’ Philippa remembered the meeting well.

The usually reserved man, second only to the Queen in power and influence within the realm, was nearly beside himself with worry for his niece.

‘His biggest concern was finding Olivia’s daughter.

While he expressed deep grief over his sister’s choices, he has given her up as lost and is only focused on Hyacinth’s safety.

If we find Olivia, she will face the hangman’s noose, and if we don’t, she will live the rest of her life as a fugitive.

But Hyacinth could have a proper life. The young girl is only sixteen.

This summer was meant to be her debut into society.

He fears Olivia has taken the girl against her will and is holding her somewhere. ’

Ivy shook her head. ‘Olivia would never do anything to harm her daughter. She spoke often of trying to repair their relationship.’

‘Did she speak often of her loyalty to you? Because she certainly lied about that.’ Philippa failed to keep the poison from her tone.

‘Not everything she said was a falsehood. She may have been deceiving me about our friendship, but she wasn’t lying about her daughter. I’m sure of it.’ Ivy spoke with quiet conviction.

Philippa raised a brow, pressing her lips together to keep insults about Olivia from spilling forth.

‘Does he know of our work? Being so close to the Queen, I’m sure she has revealed certain facts to him.’ Hannah crossed the short space between the hearth and a velvet wingback chair, smoothing her skirts before she sat.

‘Based on his request for me to seek out his niece and return her to him, a good guess would be yes. According to the Chancellor, his sister’s extended absence during Hyacinth’s formative years left quite a rift between mother and daughter.

He took the girl under his wing, and he’s sick with fear for her safety. ’

Millie tucked a crimson curl behind her ear.

‘I can’t picture the Chancellor showing any kind of extreme emotion.

I only met him once at Ivy’s charity ball, but he was so composed.

Even when you informed him of his brother-in-law’s crimes and his sister’s escape.

As I recall, he clenched his jaw and his left eye twitched.

Hardly someone who would be overcome with feelings. ’

Philippa lifted a shoulder in a shrug. ‘He was more expressive with me. I think he’s had time to process the dangers facing his niece. The last thing he wants is for this to be made public. The scandal of it would ruin Hyacinth’s chances of finding a normal life.’

‘It was clever of him to spread rumours that Olivia and her daughter escaped to the countryside during the scandal of her husband’s imprisonment and murder,’ Hannah mused.

‘If the beau monde were to catch wind of Olivia’s involvement with her husband’s dealings, or discover she is missing, it isn’t just Hyacinth who could be ruined by gossip.

The Lord High Chancellor’s entire career could be in jeopardy. ’

‘It’s bad enough his brother-in-law was one of the leaders of the Devil’s Sons. Has the Queen said anything to you?’ Ivy looked to Philippa, her clear eyes wide with curiosity.

‘She told me the Lord High Chancellor Hardgrave went directly to her after the charity ball and told her everything. He is committed to helping us root out the last leader in this group, but Hyacinth’s safety takes priority for him.

He promised the Queen any loyalty he had to his sister died the night she helped Percival kidnap the orphans and turned Ivy over to her husband.

’ As a rule, Philippa trusted very few men, but the Lord High Chancellor, while reserved and stiff in his demeanour, had shown true fear when speaking of his niece.

She was certain he would do anything to get her back, and that kind of desperation wasn’t easy to fake.

‘So what is the next step?’ Penny asked.

‘We need to track down Olivia’s whereabouts, determine if she has her daughter with her, rescue the girl, and capture Olivia.’ Philippa was determined to achieve this mission quickly and put the entire affair behind her.

‘Simple as that.’ Millie’s eyes flashed with mischief. ‘We should have this buttoned up in no time.’

‘I’ll talk to Edward. I’m sure he would let Reading help us. The man is a marvel. He can comb through piles of paperwork and find one tiny piece of evidence that cracks the case.’ Ivy stood. ‘I’ll go to Scotland Yard directly and see if Edward is available.’

‘I suppose there are some benefits to being married to the Commissioner of Scotland Yard.’ Hannah winked at Ivy as the pale woman’s blush re-emerged.

‘Or at least being married to the man who hired Reading as his secretary,’ Millie added, standing to join Ivy. ‘I must be going as well. Drake is meeting me at the milliner for a new bonnet.’

‘I imagine he’ll look quite dashing. Mayhap something with blue ribbons to bring out his eyes?

’ Penny’s smile was infectious. The very idea of Major General Drake in a frilly bonnet with his scarred face and the physique of a bare-knuckle brawler had even Philippa fighting a smile.

Penny rose, brushing crumbs off the settee.

‘I should take my leave as well. Liam promised to take me riding in the park before we lose the light. He insists I’m getting better, but then his opinions about me are often skewed. ’

A pang of longing resonated in Philippa’s chest. She was accustomed to living alone and appreciated her solitude, but seeing the women she mentored all partnered with men perfectly suited to each of their strengths and weaknesses filled her with a strange longing. Not for a man.

Saints preserve me from such a fate.

But for a partner. Someone to sit with in front of the fire as evening darkened the sky, sipping whiskey and tea, discussing the day’s events.

But her chances for domestic tranquillity had never been good.

A sapphist faced serious challenges to hide any romance behind the guise of passionate female friendship, but Philippa had the added complication of guilt and sorrow to navigate.

Liza’s face drifted into her mind, fresh with youth, fuzzy with time, and achingly familiar. Hollow loneliness grew sharp edges of grief.

Some people are meant to walk their path alone.

There’s no point lamenting that which cannot be changed.

I committed myself to Liza, and nothing will sway me.

Not her death, and certainly not some blonde siren who belongs in a prison cell, not floating around in my head like a phantom temptress.

And why am I thinking about Olivia… again?

Philippa forced her attention back to Hannah. ‘Are you off as well?’

Hannah tilted her head, her gaze assessing. ‘I can stay for one more cup of tea. Shall I pour?’

Hannah busied herself with refreshing Philippa’s tea while the other ladies made their goodbyes and bustled out in a colourful swish of lace, silk, and cotton.

Hannah knew Philippa best of all the women and was the least afraid. The petite woman didn’t want another cup of tea. She wanted to speak with Philippa alone. ‘Say what you want to say, Hannah.’

Handing Philippa a fresh dish of whiskey-laced tea, she turned to pour her own cup, conveniently avoiding eye contact with Philippa. ‘I’ve been thinking about something you told me once.’

Philippa raised an eyebrow. It was a look she had perfected in her early years with Lord Winterbourne.

Generally, she found it an effective tool in convincing others to think very carefully about their words before saying something stupid.

‘I’m surprised you remember anything I say; you certainly never seem to follow my advice. ’

Hannah tsked. ‘Your advice is not always as sage as you believe it to be. But this particular time, I think you were spot on.’

Philippa huffed out a breath. ‘I am always spot on,’ she muttered.

‘You told me, “All creatures deserve love.” You also said no woman should be ashamed of her desires.’

Philippa felt heat rising from her chest to her neck.

She hadn’t blushed since she was a girl.

She wasn’t about to start now. Forcing another sip of whiskey down her suddenly dry throat, Philippa focused on that burn instead of the heat emanating from her core.

‘Women spend far too much time being ashamed of their feelings, while men have no trouble demanding their wants be met at any cost. I am not ashamed of my desires, but neither do I intend to discuss them with anyone.’

‘I remember feeling similarly that night. But it didn’t stop you from poking your nose into my business when I was too scared to admit my attraction to Killian.’

‘You think I’m scared?’ Philippa snorted.

‘Of my desire? Please. Do I strike you as a woman who feels fear for anything?’ It was an evasive question designed to reveal little.

While Philippa trusted Hannah implicitly, being vulnerable with anyone was out of the question.

It invited far too many emotions, and emotions were like a feral cat.

Just as prone to scratch and claw as snuggle and purr.

‘I think you fear letting people close.’

First Delacroix, now Hannah. Damn these women and their blasted opinions.

It mattered little that their opinions happened to be correct.

‘I am simply cautious with my friends. Few people are worthy of my time. You and the other ladies are exceptions to that rule.’

‘But is friendship enough? Or do you wish for more? For a special companion?’

‘Like a cat? It would ruin the furniture. And dogs are far too needy.’

Hannah exhaled slowly through her nose. ‘Not a pet, Philippa. A partner. I know you won’t admit it, but something about Olivia has unsteadied you. It would be easy to paint her as an evil woman, unworthy of love or affection. But what if you are wrong?’

‘What does her guilt or innocence have to do with anything?’ Philippa was used to being a step ahead of most people. She did not like this feeling of confusion. It was bad enough that Philippa kept thinking of Olivia. Why was Hannah bringing her into this discussion?

‘If she is innocent, then you would have no reason to dislike her.’ Hannah glanced up from her tea. ‘And if you had no reason to dislike her, you might find a few reasons to like her.’

Jittery nerves thrilled through Philippa.

She stood, pacing in staccato steps. ‘This is a nonsensical argument. I don’t want a companion.

Having desires is very different from wanting to act upon them.

And, lest we forget, Olivia Smithwick is guilty of attempting to aid her husband in terrible crimes.

I suspect she also kidnapped her daughter and is holding the poor girl against her will.

The only feelings I have for the woman are outrage.

The only desire I have is to catch her and force her to face justice. ’

Hannah watched Philippa pace. ‘What if you are wrong and she is not guilty?’

‘You were there that night. You heard Ivy tell us how Olivia could have stood against her husband, but she did not. Instead, she willingly sacrificed Ivy to his homicidal machinations. I am not wrong about this.’ Philippa spoke unflinchingly. Because she needed her words to be true.

Standing, Hannah walked to Philippa and put a reassuring hand on her arm, squeezing softly. ‘We are all wrong sometimes, Philippa.’ She leaned forward and pulled Philippa into a hug.

Philippa wanted to wrap her arms around Hannah and accept the gesture of support. She wanted to lean into Hannah’s strength, if only for a moment. But leaning on someone else only invited a devastating crash when they left. So, she remained stiff and unyielding in Hannah’s embrace.

Hannah pulled back, her eyes meeting Philippa’s gaze with a frankness few dared show the duchess. ‘You were right when you told me we all deserve love. And I am right when I tell you that “all” means “all”. You aren’t exempt from this.’

Philippa pressed her lips together, hating the thickness closing her throat. ‘I have had my chance at love. I don’t want another.’

‘Sometimes, what we want is not what we need, Philippa.’

‘And sometimes, it is the exact same thing.’

Hannah blinked twice in quick succession.

It was the only indicator that Philippa had been too harsh in her rebuke, but it was enough.

Philippa forced her tone to soften. Hannah wasn’t trying to attack her, after all.

She was trying to help. Even if Philippa didn’t need any help.

‘It is getting late. You should return home to Killian before he starts to worry and organises a military offensive to rescue you.’

Hannah tucked her hand into her pocket and stepped away from Philippa. ‘I do hope we catch Olivia. Mayhap justice will look a little different than we expect once we hear her side of things. Ivy is right. Something is amiss.’

‘The only thing amiss is her belief she can escape me. I will prove beyond any doubt she is guilty.’

Philippa noted the look Hannah gave her before she walked out the door. A look calling Philippa ten times the fool.