Page 32 of A Lady Most Wayward (The Queen’s Deadly Damsels #5)

But Olivia didn’t suffer alone. Philippa’s clitoris pulsed with every heartbeat, screaming for pressure and friction.

Her nipples tingled, demanding the same attention Philippa had lavished on Olivia.

Pressing her legs together tightly, she was tempted to slip her hand from where it kneaded Olivia’s luscious arse and rub herself to climax.

But she couldn’t let Olivia go. Instead, she accepted the ache as she focused on her mission.

Slipping her hand down Olivia’s sweet hollows and soft curves, she slipped a finger into the tight channel, then another as her tongue danced circles over Olivia’s bud.

Soft, hard, tight, sweet. When she pushed her third finger in and curled them upward, coaxing Olivia’s climax closer while sucking the sweet cluster of nerves at her centre, Olivia screamed again, her hand not able to contain the hoarse explosion.

Satisfaction and something else filled Philippa.

Something soft and warm and soothing, like honey on a ravaged throat.

Philippa flattened her tongue, lapping Olivia’s orgasm, desperate to ensure she missed nothing. When Olivia finally pushed Philippa’s head away, she reluctantly relented.

Olivia’s pale skin was flushed a beautiful pink.

Her nipples, dark and swollen, were still deliciously exposed.

Philippa leaned forward to kiss one, then the other.

Olivia caught her before she could retreat, pulling Philippa’s head against her chest where she could hear the comforting rhythm of Olivia’s heart.

She should push back, get up, create some distance.

But Philippa’s skin was still buzzing with desire, her tongue was still drenched with Olivia’s flavour, and a strange peace stole through her, making her limbs heavy even without reaching her own climax.

It was lovely to rest in the soft cradle of Olivia’s body.

‘I never knew how good it could be.’ Olivia’s soft words brushed over Philippa like a caress.

‘Oral pleasure is one of life’s greatest gifts, and so rarely enjoyed by women.’

‘That’s not… I mean, yes. It was quite a revelation, but that isn’t what I meant.’

Fear thrilled through Philippa at the open yearning in Olivia’s voice. She knew that tone. She’d used it herself with Liza. But this wasn’t anything like that. It couldn’t be anything like that.

‘I don’t think—’

‘Let me finish.’ Olivia’s voice lost its breathless quality and took on a note of command that did strange things to Philippa, stoking both her angst and arousal. ‘I had a great tendre for Daisy. She was sweet and kind and gentle. Nothing like you.’

Ouch! Well played, Olivia.

Philippa pulled free of Olivia’s arms and stood.

She couldn’t have this conversation while still nuzzling in the sanctuary of Olivia’s body.

After all, this was going to become a battle.

It had to be. Fighting was the only way to distract her from the fact that this might have been more than two women seeking comfort in each other’s arms. ‘She sounds rather insipid.’

Olivia’s lips pressed together in a white line.

She breathed out through her nose and fisted her hands.

‘She wasn’t. She taught me not to fear my attraction to women.

She helped me understand it wasn’t something shameful or disgusting, but actually rather beautiful.

Far more natural than being forced to marry a man I neither knew nor liked, who inspired fear and revulsion within me with his constant physical and mental brutality. ’

Philippa couldn’t use snark against such an earnest truth. Especially when she wholeheartedly agreed. Which was incredibly inconvenient, as they were meant to be fighting. She needed this to be an argument. ‘Fine. So not insipid, but clearly far too soft for a woman like you.’

‘A woman like me? What kind of woman am I, exactly?’

* * *

Adrenaline fuelled Olivia and she wasn’t sure if she wanted Philippa to turn and leave, kiss her senseless, or demand a duel to the death.

What she actually wanted was Philippa back in her arms, skin against skin, soaking in the warm afterglow of her climax, giving comfort and seeking some in return instead of continuing this asinine argument.

Philippa turned and walked to the hearth, rubbing an imaginary smudge from the well-polished wood. ‘The kind who needs an equal partner. Someone as strong, and smart, and clever as you are to keep you from running riot over them.’

‘An insult wearing the clothes of a compliment. Well done, Your Grace.’ Olivia stood from the couch, righting her dress to cover herself.

One did not enter the battlefield with their breasts jostling about willy-nilly.

‘I wonder if you learned such tactics from the Prime Minister. Such skilled duality belongs in parliament.’ Before Philippa could let more verbal arrows fly, Olivia let loose her own volley.

‘Is that why you’re pulling back? Because you’re worried I might run riot over you?

That you might not match me in strength and intelligence?

’ Olivia stepped closer, crossing her arms over her now-covered chest and wishing for a weapon.

‘I’m pulling back because there is no way to move forward.

’ Philippa bit out the words, her hair loose from Olivia’s fingers, her cheeks flushed with arousal or anger, the crimson stain on her lips gone to reveal her natural shell pink.

It felt glorious to knock the stoic lady from her horse of detached indifference.

Olivia leaned into her advantage, refusing to acknowledge how Philippa’s dishevelled appearance only transformed her beauty from fierce to fragile: a devastating contrast. ‘You presume to know what I want. Because the duchess is always right, is she not? I should no longer be surprised at such arrogance.’

‘It isn’t arrogance, it’s confidence. Because I am right in this.’

Olivia threw her head back and laughed. ‘Please. You sound like the men you despise.’

‘I don’t despise men, but neither do I blindly respect them.’

‘At least on that point, we can agree. Tell me, oh wise and infallible Duchess, what is it I want?’

‘You want to rescue your daughter.’

‘Earth-shattering insight, Your Grace. One I believe I’ve told you about three hundred times on this journey.’

Philippa stepped closer, her hand lifting to slap or caress, Olivia couldn’t decide.

Nor could she determine which she would prefer.

Philippa dropped her hand to her side before Olivia could find out.

She rubbed her index finger in circles against her thumb.

‘You want to be free. Have control of your choices and your destiny.’

‘Every person wants that.’

‘But don’t you see? Any entanglement with me would ruin that freedom for you.

The beau monde would thrill to catch us together.

Whatever autonomy you seek would be stripped from you forever.

And what of me? I could lose my fortune.

My property. My place with the Queen. My work with the Damsels. Everything.’

Philippa’s words sucked the fight from Olivia’s blood.

Because she was right. Which was infuriating.

But they should be willing to face those dangers together.

If Philippa cared as much for Olivia as she feared she did for Philippa.

Because Olivia was willing to face the dragons of their day and fight for their right to love each other.

Olivia clenched her jaw tight before speaking. ‘Mayhap I wanted a woman courageous enough to battle those insurmountable odds with me and beat them. Didn’t you say something is only impossible because it hasn’t been accomplished yet? Or have I finally proven you wrong?’

Philippa stepped back as though she’d been struck.

‘You have no idea what you are asking. I thought that way once. With Liza. And then she was taken from me and chose death over the reality she faced. Loving someone the way I love her is not a gift. It is a curse that strips everything from you. Your strength. Your choice. Your power. I would never wish that on you, and I certainly won’t subject myself to such torture ever again.

I can give you pleasure. I can give you physical intimacy in the short time we have together.

I can give you comfort, because you deserve that at the very least. But that is all.

I cannot give you love or lifelong companionship.

If you seek that from me, you will only be disappointed. ’

Olivia felt her heart stretch and snap. Pain poured forth like poison from a wound.

She realised, in her stupidity, that that was exactly what she wanted from Philippa.

Even if she knew it was impossible. ‘Disappointment is something I’m used to.

I just didn’t expect to be disappointed in you.

’ She watched each word strike Philippa like arrows.

Good. I shouldn’t have to suffer alone.

Brushing a hand down her tragically wrinkled travelling gown, Philippa pulled her shoulders back, her face hardening into the mask of the duchess.

‘Baths have been brought to our rooms. I’m sure you are weary from our travels.

I suggest we each retire and refresh ourselves before dinner.

We will have much to discuss with the others if we hope to rescue your daughter, catch the Crow, and grant you the freedom you desire. ’

Ah. Back to the mission. Because tracking down an insidious murderer is far easier than arguing with me. Fine. Wonderful.

Olivia executed a dramatic curtsey. ‘Of course, Your Grace. I wouldn’t dare disagree with the duchess. Except for one point, that is.’

Philippa pressed her lips together. Olivia should have guessed she wouldn’t rise to the bait. No matter. She would speak her mind whether or not Philippa wished to hear it.

‘I’m sorry you lost Liza. I wish I could heal that pain, protect you from the sorrow. Truly, I do. But love is not a curse. It is a gift. If one is courageous enough to accept it.’

‘That isn’t fair.’ Philippa’s mask slipped. Raw grief shone in her eyes.

Once more, Olivia’s fight faltered, making way for soul-aching empathy.

For what Philippa had lost. What Liza – a woman she had never met, yet someone she felt a certain kinship with – had suffered.

But she wouldn’t back down. ‘No. Life isn’t fair.

What happened to Liza wasn’t fair. Losing your first love wasn’t fair.

But shutting yourself off from life’s beauty for fear of its cruelty isn’t fair either.

To you. To Liza. Or to me. You are stronger than this, Philippa.

’ Olivia turned and walked away because she couldn’t stay.