Page 21
LUNA
Ash clearly didn’t expect me to turn the tables. Maybe he thought I’d stick to soft questions—but this mattered. If I could share my worst memory, he could share his.
They’d taken it well, so I thought they might understand now—my fears, not that they should stop me from living my life.
“Our enemy killed her. A rival shifter clan. Their territory is nowhere near ours,” he reassured me.
“It was a combination of wrong place, wrong time. She was pushing the limits and left our territory. At the same time, one of theirs did. They fought. But she was dead before we even knew she had gone.”
No wonder they’d panicked when they found I’d left. Guilt prickled at me, turning my stomach sour.
“There was a rivalry. They thought they were getting retribution for something they thought our pack had done. Decades-old grievances,” Ash finished.
“I’ll never forget when Aaron arrived carrying her body. We didn’t even know she’d gone out. We’d fought,” Connor took over, voice hitching.
My chest tightened. Their grief—and the guilt braided through it—hung heavy in the room. I suddenly felt like I’d stepped into a sacred space I hadn’t earned the right to enter.
“We tried, all three of us, but it didn't really work. We couldn't get on an even keel. It was always imbalanced,” Ash took over. “I felt like it was them against me because I had to be alpha.”
“I felt it was you two against me because you had more of a visceral spark. An intense sexual connection I wasn’t fully part of,” Connor added.
This was deep.
“I mean, we connected…together. But it wasn't the same.” He tried to offer context, but he was back in the sorrow. “And she hated being trapped here.”
“But she tried because it’s the rule. Not some pack rule but some internal knowing,” he said—the mate bond.
We sat quietly for some time. Listening to the rain start on the roof. There was a lot of baggage on this table, and none of it was food.
“We should eat.” Ash’s words cut through the silence like a lifeline. I didn’t realise how tightly I was holding my breath until then. I noticed that was his way—retreating to action when emotion got too close.
“Yes, because I am a lightweight and I’ve had two glasses on an empty stomach.”
Connor laughed and offered me a hand to help me up. I placed my hand in his, feeling the warmth and softness.
Over dinner, I asked softly, “Have you had other relationships?”
“In high school, experiments. Nothing serious. Nothing since Claire,” Ash said. That surprised me. He was so…much. Physically attractive, obviously. But also a confidence that lacked arrogance, that had probably seen every woman in a ten-mile radius swooning.
“Yeah, high school. And…last year there was someone.” Connor admitted, and Ash started, looking shocked. “We were so lost in our grief, I needed something. A closeness.” To me, he added, “We’ve never verbalised what we were without Claire. Were we flatmates? Something else?”
“We’re family,” Ash said, just now realising the truth about it.
“But without Claire, what did that mean? It was like when she died, we were just ghosts passing.”
“You’re one of the most important people in my life,” Ash said, placing his fork down, like he’d realised he was gripping it so tightly that his knuckles were white.
“But we weren't in a relationship, so I sought it elsewhere.”
Ash blinked, stunned by the revelation.
He swallowed. “Wow. It never occurred to me that you would. I assumed we would be mateless, together, for the rest of our lives.”
“You never asked,” Connor said, echoing what I said earlier. “But did you really believe you’d never retake a lover?”
Ash looked thoughtful. “I didn’t the last three years, but I guess I may have eventually.”
“Now you’ve been blessed with another mate.” Connor smiled at me softly.
“How’d I get so lucky twice?” Ash mused. “And why does it have to be so damn complicated?”
We all laughed a strained laugh.
I wanted to break the tension, to offer something light, even if it risked surprise.
“I experimented at high school and college too,” I said, aiming for casual.
“What kind of experiments?” Ash asked, eyes zeroing in on my lips.
“The early bases,” I replied coyly, taking a sip of my drink.
“Men?” Connor inquired.
“Yes. You?” I asked, feeling inexplicably breathless.
“Both,” he admitted. I nodded. I suspected so.
Ash looked downright shocked. Looked like the best friends didn't share everything.
“Did you ever…with Claire before the bond?” I asked.
“No. Never even considered her like that,” Ash said immediately.
“Me either.” Connor agreed.
“Mate bonds are weird,” I said. “Would you have looked twice at me without it?”
“A hundred times,” Ash pronounced, eyes flashing.
I shivered, feeling hot in my chest.
Ash held my gaze. “What I feel—it isn’t separate from the need. It’s not just the bond. It’s you.”
Table of Contents
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- Page 20
- Page 21 (Reading here)
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- Page 39