Page 17
ASH
I heard her words. They echoed in my mind, the same ones Claire had once said to me. It hit harder than a straight-up rejection. Claire had been part of our lives for as long as I could remember. She’d never had to choose us, but she’d always known and grown alongside us.
But this? This was different.
Turning friendship into mateship wasn’t as simple as just knowing someone. There was a bond, a connection that ran deeper than anything I’d ever felt before.
If I were being honest, the sex hadn't been a problem. But it was everything else—the life we were meant to build together. It had felt like three alphas in one house: too much power, too much tension. We couldn’t ignore the fact that Claire wasn’t meant for a life like this.
She didn’t want to be protected. She didn’t want to be coddled.
And damn, that stung more than I cared to admit.
Luna was different.
I shouldn’t have come home in my wolf form.
Shouldn’t have shifted in front of her, especially when my wolf was clawing at the edges of my control.
The bond was right there, just beneath the surface, waiting for us to complete it.
Shifting to kiss her when she was still injured?
Terrible idea. But she responded. I could still smell her scent on me, sweet and intoxicating.
She was drawn to me, at least physically.
And that wasn’t a comfort, not in the state I was in.
Connor was pissed. I retreated to my room, trying to cool off, but it didn’t take long before he stood in the doorway, his eyes hard with concern.
“We can’t treat her with kid gloves, Ash,” he said, his voice low and strained. “But you can’t just change, be completely naked, and overwhelm her like that. It should’ve been a conversation. A real one.”
I let out a long sigh. “I heard what she said.”
Connor paced from the bed to the bathroom door and back, frustration radiating off him. “You’re volatile right now, Ash. The bond’s pulling at you, and you’re not in control. You can’t just act like you’re still waiting for Claire to return. Luna’s not her.”
The words hit me harder than I expected.
It wasn’t the first time Connor had pointed out how I was clinging to the past, but it still cut deep.
I was so damn scared of what this bond meant, of what it could do to us.
The pull of Luna, the way my wolf responded to her—it was a beast, feral and demanding.
If I wasn’t careful, I could hurt her, and that thought terrified me.
“I’m scared of this, Con. Scared of what the bond means. It feels too... close, too wild. I don’t know if I can control it.”
Connor stopped pacing, his face softening as he took in my words.
He’d always been the one who saw through my defenses.
“You don’t need to control it, Ash. You need to embrace it.
Luna’s not Claire. She’s never going to be.
But you have to understand—this bond is yours.
Yours and hers. You’re meant for each other, just like we were with Claire. But this is different.”
I stared at him, the weight of his words sinking into me.
I wasn’t sure if I was ready for it. Was I even capable of it?
I’d spent so many years fighting the loss of Claire, trying to hold onto a family that was no longer possible.
I didn’t know how to build a new life with Luna when I couldn’t even trust myself to keep the bond stable.
“I can’t consummate the bond in this state,” I admitted, the vulnerability slipping out before I could stop it. “It feels like I’m a danger to her, like my wolf’s too close to the surface. One wrong move and I could destroy everything.”
Connor didn’t say anything at first. Then, he stepped closer, his voice gentle. “No, Ash. You wouldn’t hurt her. You’re not a danger to her. But you need to find balance. The bond doesn’t control you unless you let it.”
The faith in his voice made something twist in my chest. There was a time when Connor’s unwavering trust in me had been enough to carry me through anything. But now, it felt... different. Luna wasn’t just my responsibility. She was my mate. And that was something new, something terrifying.
“We need to get to her place. Check it out. Also, check in at work. I can’t just sit here spinning in circles,” I said, standing up, trying to redirect my thoughts.
Connor’s gaze darkened. “Agreed. But I’d like her to be healed before we leave her.”
I chuckled softly, the tension breaking for a moment. “You think she’ll let us leave her here when we go to her house?” I asked, knowing full well she’d want to come along, no matter what we said.
Connor’s lips twitched, though it didn’t reach his eyes. “Probably not. No.”
I shifted uncomfortably, the memory of our kiss invading my thoughts. Her soft body pressed against mine, and the sounds of her pleasure as she melted into me. I pushed the thought away, but it lingered.
“What was it like?” I asked, breaking the silence that had fallen between us.
Connor hesitated, but then his eyes met mine, raw and open. “Like hell and home,” he said softly, and it hit me—he was just as torn as I was. We’d both been through so much; now, everything felt like it was on the line.
“She said if she can’t make an active choice, she’s not really here. She’s thinking long-term, Ash. It is about fixing the bond and what it means for us. For the future.”
The weight of her words crushed me. Was I ready for that? Was she? We’d both been broken in different ways. How the hell did we fit together in all this chaos?
I paused, taking it all in. “Do you think she can handle it? The truth, I mean?”
Connor’s voice softened. “Not yet. She’s sheltered, but she’s not naive. She’s seen the world for what it is. But she hasn’t seen the darkness we carry. Not all of it.”
I nodded, the gravity of everything sinking in. “We’ll have to show her. And then we’ll figure out what comes next.”
Connor didn’t say anything, but I felt his agreement, his resolve. We couldn’t run from this. Not anymore.
He turned to leave, but stopped at the door when I spoke again. “Why does everything feel like life or death when we have a mate? Why can’t it just be... normal? Meals, TV, and then... everything else afterward?”
Connor chuckled, though it was a hollow sound. “Because it’s never normal, Ash. Not for us. Not for mates.”
And maybe that was the most brutal truth of all.
Table of Contents
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