Page 39 of A Follow-Through in Faking

Catalina

I haven’t found a way to stop hugging Hernanda and stare at Sami with tears in my eyes. They both have grown so much since I last saw them, and the fact that I’m missing it makes me never want to let them out of my sight again.

“You’re suffocating me,” Hernanda says when I squeeze her a little harder, making Sami laugh.

“You have to deal with it for a little longer,” I reply against the crown of her head where her dark blonde hair tickles my nose.

“Can you go bother Samuel?” she asks, pushing against me to get me to stop hugging her.

“I already did for half an hour. It’s your turn now,” I reply, and even though I know she doesn’t want to, she giggles in my arms.

“Okay, Lina, come here. Let’s give your siblings some space,” I hear Dad say, so I turn my head just enough to see him standing behind us with open arms. I kiss Hernanda’s head one more time before releasing her, grinning as she runs away to make sure I don’t hold her captive in my hug again.

Then, Dad’s arms wrap around me, and I melt into his chest.

“I missed you,” I say as the tears finally drop, my arms flinging around him as he holds me close.

“I know. We missed you so much, too, Catalina.” With my face buried in his chest, I let more tears fall.

Nothing could help me hold them back.

Ever since Mamá’s passing, I’ve held the rest of my family so much closer in my heart because I don’t ever want to have to regret not loving them enough, not loudly enough.

They mean everything to me, and I don’t want them to doubt that fact, no matter how far away I am. No matter how long I am gone from home.

They are my reason for everything. The reason I do the things I do.

Mamá was what got me started in tennis, but I keep going for my family.

To keep earning the money that will make sure my father doesn’t have to work as much as he used to, to afford Sami’s and Hernanda’s hobbies, medical bills, or anything else they need.

Ori has been sustaining herself for a long time, but taking care of my other two siblings brings me joy, and I’m going to keep doing so until they either don’t need me to anymore or I physically can’t.

“You played so, so well today, my darling girl. I’m so proud of you,” Dad says before pressing his lips to my forehead and stepping back.

He squeezes my arms one last time before nudging my chin with the back of his fingers and stepping toward where Hernanda flopped down on the couch in my hotel room.

I move over to Sami, stroking his hair once as he looks up at me with that big, bright smile he’s had ever since he was a baby.

He’s always been such a happy kid, through all the tough and sad times, his smile has never faded, not in the way it did for Hernanda when she was old enough to understand what it meant to have met your mother but be incapable of remembering more than perhaps the smallest of memories about her.

All they know are the stories we share, and that knowledge hardened her a little in a way that I wish I could undo.

I don’t want my siblings to know that type of pain.

I know it inside out. I breathe it most days.

Being in tennis makes me so painfully aware of everything I’ll never get to share with her, everything she wished for me in the sport we both loved, and I know my siblings feel the same about their accomplishments.

Whenever Sami or Hernanda win a trophy, they go with Dad to where Mamá is buried just so they can show it to her.

Whenever Ori has a breakthrough in her work, she talks to Mamá in her room.

I…

Well, I haven’t found a way to feel connected to her in that way. To speak to her. To feel like she’s listening.

Ori and Santi step back into the room right as Sami tells me about the new robot he’s working on for another science fair, but he cuts off to clap excitedly.

My brother loves food more than he loves me, I’m sure of it.

“Catalina, can you come help us?” Ori says, and I notice Santi’s pale face as he walks silently beside her.

Uh oh .

I rush toward the kitchen area of the suite where Ori and Santi put the food they went out to get, feeling my heart race. My older sister usually doesn’t get involved in my business unless I ask her to, but I have a feeling that is exactly what is about to happen.

“You two aren’t faking it anymore,” she says quietly as soon as we’re somewhat alone, and I feel my heart skip a beat.

“What?” It’s a stupid thing to ask. I heard her perfectly fine, and she’s a hundred percent right, but asking it buys me some time to collect my thoughts.

Ori inspects me, then looks at Santiago, studying how close he’s standing beside me now that I’ve approached them.

I doubt he even noticed he came so close.

Santi has this way of being drawn to me.

If we were openly really dating, I think he’d constantly be touching me, but we haven’t told anyone we’re not faking it anymore.

At least it doesn’t feel fake anymore.

Not after what happened earlier.

After I came harder than ever before while Santi worshipped my body. After he told me I’m his favorite person. After I realized I’m in love with him.

“You two fucked.” I almost choke on my own spit.

“How in the world would you know that?” I ask, but my sister’s brown eyes drift to Santi.

“He told me,” she replies, and I spin on my heels to swat Santiago’s bicep. He lets me do it even though he probably sees it coming.

“Why are you telling my sister we had sex?” Santi’s mouth falls open, but before he gets the chance to respond, my sister speaks again.

“He didn’t. You just did.” The color drains from my face, but Santi simply starts chuckling as I cover my face with my hands.

“I hate it when you do that,” I mumble because it isn’t the first time in my life my older sister has tricked me. I think it’s part of the eldest sibling’s job to trick her younger sister.

“I know. Now, tell me, how the fuck did this happen? I thought you two hated each other?” she asks, but she looks more amused now than anything.

“You know how it goes. A dry spell makes you do stupid things,” I reply to take the tension out of the question, but Santi lets the joke roll off his back as he takes my hand and steps toward Ori.

“It happened because I stopped being an idiot and because Cata’s heart is big enough to give me a second chance.”

Santi’s words have my shoulders dropping as the tension leaves them, and I look up at him to see he’s already staring down at me.

It’s entirely irritating that the man who still has my legs shaking from fucking me so well earlier can also make my heart turn to putty with a few simple words.

“Santi,” I start, but he kisses my forehead before I can come up with a response. He turns his head to look at Ori, offering her a nervous smile.

“I think the better question you should ask is why didn’t it happen sooner? Or why did it take me so long to realize what I thought I felt for Cata was the very opposite of what I actually feel?”

My heart shrieks in fear at his words. Not because I don’t think they’re some of the most wonderful words I’ve ever heard. No. It’s because I love him so much, too, and I’m scared we’re going to have another fall-out that will make us stop speaking to each other for years.

“Aww, that’s gross,” Ori says, but her smile is telling. My sister always pretends she hates romance, but I know it’s because she’s never had anyone love her the proper way.

I don’t think anyone’s ever loved me the proper way.

Until Santi.

Which is a bold assumption to make, thinking he’s in love with me, but I’ve always believed actions speak louder than words, and Santiago’s actions have been screaming one very specific thing at me: I love you.

I lean into his side as soon as the thought enters my head, and Ori scrunches her nose at us before forcing another smile. But no matter how much I don’t want to be at times, I’m a romantic through and through.

I melt at the little things.

I giggle internally when Santi looks at me, even when someone else is speaking.

I blush when he tells me how beautiful I am every single day.

Romance, to me, isn’t the big gestures. They’re part of it, sure, but I love to be loved quietly, too. In the little things. In the way I am looked at. In the way I’m admired for who I am.

Deep inside, I want the person who loves me to be able to make a list of a thousand reasons why they love me, not superficially but deeply. I want them to see my soul and think it’s the most precious thing in the world.

Santi offers me that in his own way. In his scrapbook, he put parts of me I never thought anyone would truly see.

“We should eat before the food gets cold,” Ori says, and I force my eyes open and to step out of Santi’s arms.

His fingers linger on me like he isn’t quite ready to let go, but I don’t give him a chance.

I simply walk back to where my family is with Sami and Hernanda’s food in my hand, helping my little brother rearrange so he has everything he needs while eating.

Santi returns with Dad’s food, but Ori tilts her head, telling me there is one more thing she wants to discuss, but this time, only I’m supposed to hear it.

“Go ahead and start without us. I have a feeling this could take a second,” I tell my family, shooting Santi a hint of a smile to ease the concern I see building inside of him through the expression on his face.

Ori takes my hand and leads me into my hotel room. She closes my door gently, then turns to look at me before leaning against it, her hands behind her back. Her gaze is enough to make me shuffle my feet nervously.

“Spit it out, Ori. You know I hate that look. Just say whatever it is you need to say,” I blurt out, gesturing more with my hands than is necessary, but I can’t help it.

“Where is your focus, Lina?” I take a step back out of pure surprise.

“What?”

“You heard me. Where is your focus? Because at the beginning of the season, it was on becoming number one and winning your first Grand Slam. It was on your dreams and goals, not on winning doubles tournaments with Santiago,” she says, and I feel tears of shame fill my eyes before anger takes over.

“I told you my back wasn’t doing well. I told you I needed to take a break, and it was between taking a complete break and still being able to play tournaments.

Tournaments that, by the way, pay for a lot of the things Dad, Hernanda, and Samuel need.

I know you’re doing important, life-saving work, but it’s not paying the bills in the same way my career is.

And it isn’t fair of you to make me feel bad about myself for a back problem I’ve had since I was a child, and finding a way to still play and be able to pay the bills. ”

The words spill out of me in a quick rant that leaves me breathless, but Ori’s expression doesn’t change. I’d expected her to feel remorse for what she said, but she looks as convinced by her words now as she did a minute ago.

“I don’t want you to lose sight of your goals because of this fake relationship with Santiago, Lina.

I’d hate to see you lose the chance to fulfill your dreams for another season, and I’m not saying this to be cruel.

I love you so much, you know that, but you also know sometimes you need some tough love.

If this is not one of those moments, then I’m sorry.

” I feel my anger drifting away at the sight of genuine worry filling her eyes.

“I promise you, my goals are my top priority. I took a break for my back, but I’m going to use the rest of this season to achieve everything I have ever wanted to achieve,” I assure her, so Ori takes a step toward me.

Her legs are incredibly long, but apart from our height difference, we look the same.

Same eyes, nose, hair, and lips, except Ori’s features are sharper than mine.

I’ve always had a softer face despite the scowl resting there most of the time.

Ori’s fingers wrap around the necklace Mamá gave me before she offers me the saddest of smiles.

“She would be so proud of you,” Ori whispers, tears shooting into her eyes at the mention of the mother we both loved so much.

“She would be so proud of you , changing the world for the better,” I reply, but my big sister shakes her head.

“I haven’t accomplished much in the way of changing things, but you have. You’ve changed so much in the world of tennis, in the world of sport, not only through your advocating of important issues but also by being who you are. A kind person with a big heart. Never forget that.”

The tears finally fall as I hug my sister, letting her strong arms wrap me up in a bear hug that settles everything inside of me.

She’s right. A lot is on the line. This is the season I want to become number one, that I want to win my first Grand Slam, and it’s far from over. My back is feeling better, and I will do everything I can to snatch that number one spot for myself.

And no one can stop me.