Page 4

Four

“No, no, no.” Connor shook his head.

“You are not faster than me. Absolutely not.”

“Well not right now ,” I said.

“Not in these shoes.” I gestured to my feet, which were really starting to hurt thanks to my heels.

After making the rounds at the party—please don’t ask me to recall anyone’s name—I was hiding in the kitchen to enjoy a plate of chocolate petits fours for dessert.

But instead of stretching out on the heated floor, I’d hopped up on a barstool at the island to stay out of the catering crew’s way.

Connor McCallister, my oldest friend, had had the same idea.

We hadn’t been able to hang out yet tonight.

He’d tried to extract me from a conversation earlier but ended up trapped in another.

“But seriously,” I told him, “I am faster than you.”

Connor’s face reddened.

He played midfield on the lacrosse team at school and prided himself on being in great shape.

We ran eight miles together on the canal during our offseasons.

“Careful, Mads,” Marco said from the sink.

The party was winding down, so he’d started the dishes.

“McCallister might detonate.”

“Lace up your sneakers,” Connor said suddenly.

“We’ll race down the driveway.”

“Yes, in the dark.” I nodded.

“Sounds like a smart idea.” I knocked his foot under the island.

“May I point out that you’re also wearing the wrong shoes?”

Connor’s mouthful of mini lemon bar made it impossible to understand whatever he said back.

It reminded me of Halloweens together as little kids.

There was a neighborhood at the end of my house’s long driveway, and the McCallisters were the closest thing the Fisher-Michaels family had to next-door neighbors (there weren’t many kids in the ten-house neighborhood, so Connor and I became attached at the hip after our first game of cul-de-sac street hockey).

We always trick-or-treated together before ending the night at the McCallisters’ to sort out our haul, and when we got older, we convinced Austin to drive us to much bigger neighborhoods so we could double or triple our treasure.

I smiled to myself; it didn’t matter if we were six or twelve—if I shut my eyes, I could see Connor trying to shove an entire Milky Way into his mouth.

“I do have my sneakers in the trunk, Connor,” Marco said, apparently fluent in Mouthful.

“But I know you’re gonna ask me to ref, and I’m still working.”

Rose álvarez clucked from Da’s built-in kitchen counter desk.

“Working hard or hardly working?” she mused.

“If you keep chatting…” She glanced up from her laptop to give her son a look.

“I’m clocking you out.”

Marco flushed, and I watched him scrub the next dish until it shined.

“There’s an easy way to settle this,” I told Connor.

“What was your mile time in gym this week?”

“I haven’t run it yet,” he said.

“Remember my dentist appointment? I missed the last couple periods of the day.” He paused.

“What was yours?”

“Six minutes flat,” I said proudly, but Connor didn’t react.

His attention had shifted to his girlfriend; Brenna had suddenly reappeared with another dessert plate piled high.

She knew the way to Connor’s heart.

And listen, I liked Brenna; she was easygoing and knew the answer to any and every Gilmore Girls trivia question, but why was she here tonight?

She and Connor had only been dating a month, and his family’s invitation hadn’t included a plus-one.

Am I not enough? the most insecure part of me wondered as Connor kissed Brenna’s cheek before she claimed the island’s third barstool.

Connor was always enough for me, but unless it was a casual one-on-one hangout, I didn’t seem enough for him.

He was a more-the-merrier guy.

“Hey!” someone called, making me blink.

“Katie said I might find you in here.”

I looked over to see Bridesmaid Meredith pushing through the swinging door.

Arthur and Francine jumped up on the mudroom’s pony door and began barking and wagging their tails wildly, excited by a new voice.

Meredith laughed. “Hello there, guys,” she cooed.

“I’ll introduce myself in a sec…” She turned to me.

“Everyone’s making their exodus for the night.”

“Ah, shoot,” I said.

“I should say some goodbyes.”

“I wouldn’t worry,” Meredith said before I could hop off my stool.

“Katie, Austin, and your parents have it handled.”

“Oh, okay.” It felt strange not being included, but then again, it wasn’t my party.

I technically wasn’t a host. “Well, it was really nice to meet you.” I smiled.

“I’m excited for Katie’s bridal shower.”

Thankfully, that was who-knew-how-many months away.

Under the island, Connor knocked my knee, as if to say, Liar, liar, pants on fire!

I was literally complaining to anyone who would listen about being a bridesmaid.

Maid of Honor Amanda had shown us some dress ideas from Katie’s Pinterest and talked about everyone shopping together since most of us lived on the East Coast.

Now, Meredith waved away my goodbye.

“Save it for tomorrow, Mads,” she said.

“We’re all headed back to Katie’s house for a slumber party!”

My spine straightened.

A slumber party? Like a sleepover?

I opened my mouth, then closed it, not trusting myself to not say what I wanted to say: Who is responsible for this invitation?

Had it been Katie’s idea?

Or was this Meredith’s assumption?

“She’s really flattered, but she can’t,” Connor answered for me.

“She has field hockey tomorrow.”

“Field hockey?” Bridesmaid Reese said, joining us at the island.

Katie’s cousins were behind her.

“It’s February. Isn’t field hockey a fall sport?”

“She plays on a club team,” Marco and Connor said simultaneously, with Connor adding, “And it’s not a sport; it’s a lifestyle.”

I elbowed him.

He was both quoting and mocking me.

“Practice isn’t until tomorrow afternoon, though.” Austin set a pile of dirty dishes on the counter.

“I double-checked with Da,” he said, “and Kates really wants you to come.”

But can’t “Kates” tell me that herself?

I thought.

“Plus, I kinda told Sam she could have your bed,” he said.

I pretended to groan.

“Austin!”

He laughed, seeing right through me.

Our parents and I’d missed Samira; her RSVP to the party had been the best news.

Austin slipped off his suit jacket, rolled up his shirtsleeves, and told Marco to take a break and enjoy the leftovers.

He’d take over dishwashing duty.

“Come on, Mads!” Meredith called from the mudroom.

My family’s dogs could not get enough of her.

“It’ll be so much fun!”

My stomach twisted.

“Alright, alright,” I agreed, forcing a smile as I slid off my barstool.

Because honestly, how could I have said no?

“Let me go pack a bag…”

***

Katie’s childhood home was twenty-five minutes away, but I’d only been there twice.

Once for the Gallants’ annual New Year’s Eve open house, and once for Katie’s business school graduation party.

It was walking distance from Nassau Street, Princeton’s main drag, and absolutely massive.

Limestone with a hulking black front door.

“Brand-new,” Realtor Dad liked to say, “but built to look like an antique.”

It wasn’t our style, but damn, was it a gorgeous property, with its pebbled driveway and landscaping.

Every box hedge was impeccably trimmed and stood at attention, and I imagined flowers lining the flagstone front walk come spring.

“Welcome, girls!” Katie’s mom ushered us inside with a bright smile on her face.

“It’s so wonderful to have you—oh, Wit.” She noticed Meredith’s husband among us.

Stephen Witry, who I’d picked up was “Wit” to everyone but his wife.

“I didn’t know you were coming.”

“Only to crash on your couch, Mrs. Gallant,” he said.

“I promise I will have no involvement in whatever mischief these miscreants get up to tonight.”

He’s charming , I thought.

Charming on top of being very cute.

“He’s married,” Yasmin whispered in my ear, making me blush.

She’d caught me checking him out.

Katie’s mom laughed.

“Don’t even think about the couch, young man,” she said, giving him a tight hug.

“We have a full house tonight, but Amanda’s room is free.” She conferred with her daughters.

“Since I assume you’ll all be in Katie’s room?”

The Bride led the way up the sprawling staircase after Mrs. Gallant told us the pantry was stocked with every type of snack imaginable, freshly washed towels were in the linen closet with extra pillows and blankets, and breakfast would be waiting in the morning.

I forgot Katie’s house is literally a five-star hotel , I quickly texted my parents.

Dad responded with how much he would list it for should the Gallants ever decide to put it on the market.

I’d never been in Katie’s bedroom before, light blue walls with white bedding and accents.

There was a beautiful bulletin board over her white desk, made out of old-fashioned blue toile fabric and spring-green grosgrain ribbon.

Family photos, concert tickets, and little doodles that I recognized as Austin’s artwork had been tacked to it.

“My mom made that for me when I was little.” Katie noticed me admiring it.

“Amanda has one, too. Somehow they’ve held up after all these years.”

“It’s beautiful,” I said, then gestured to a doodle.

“Austin can’t draw to save his life.”

“Tell me about it.” Katie smiled before turning to her king bed.

“Three of us can cuddle in here.” She patted the bed’s white duvet.

“We have air mattresses—”

“In the linen closet!” her bridesmaids chorused back, but once everyone had gotten cozy in their pajamas, we crowded together on Katie’s bed with the cheese plate and charcuterie board Mrs. Gallant had delivered.

Plus, a couple bottles of Whispering Angel rosé.

“Thank you,” I said when Katie’s mom handed me a blackberry-cucumber seltzer.

“And thank you so much for having us.”

“Are you kidding?” She grinned.

“Madeline, I live for this stuff.”

“Good night, Mother!” Amanda chirped.

Hint, hint.

“I feel like I’m back in high school,” Yasmin said once Mrs. Gallant left.

“Except instead of fancy meats and cheeses, we had greasy pizza and then went to town on popcorn, M the Bachelorette and her suitors had to at least fly to Europe before we’d go to bed.

That feels like ages ago , I thought, and after a beat, realized it was ages ago.

This was my first sleepover in ages .

Because once I’d started taking field hockey so seriously…

well, my life had gotten very busy very fast. With all my practices, games, and tournaments, I didn’t have much time for a weekend social life.

I still had a good group of friends, but the majority of them were on my team and weren’t local.

The school friends I used to have slumber parties with?

We’d drifted apart once hitting high school.

My constant was Connor.

Between his lacrosse and hanging out with his girlfriend and my field hockey, we still managed to grab dinner and binge some Netflix every week.

“Katie, Amanda, and my sleepovers were exactly how Hollywood makes them out to be,” Reese said.

“We gave each other makeovers, gushed over boys, and obviously someone always had a Ouija board…”

“And we always, always played truth or dare,” Amanda said, giving her sister’s sleek ponytail a tug.

“Katie here was our little daredevil.”

I almost choked on my seltzer.

Excusez-moi? Katie chose dare over truth ?

I never would’ve expected that from her.

She seemed so prim, proper, and play-it-safe.

Reese laughed. “Oh, yeah, the time she walked to Wawa at midnight and brought us each back an Icee is iconic !”

“She was only thirteen,” Amanda said.

What?! I thought, ears almost ringing.

“Respect, Katie.” Meredith offered her a fist bump, and then it only took three seconds after their knuckles knocked for someone to squeal, “Let’s play!”

The bed full of bridesmaids cheered, and I heard myself cheering right along with them.

Was I nervous? Yes, my pulse was pumping, but with both nerves and excitement.

I hadn’t realized how much I’d missed games like this.

“Truth or dare?” Amanda asked Yasmin.

Yasmin considered, then said, “Truth.”

“Booooo,” Katie and Meredith crowed.

Amanda shushed them, then returned to Yasmin.

“Hmm…who was the last person you searched on Instagram?”

“Oh my god, that’s such a softball,” Courtney said.

But nevertheless, Yasmin blushed and answered so quietly that everyone went, “Huh?”

“Bieber,” she spoke up.

“Justin Bieber.”

Meredith promptly whacked her with a pillow.

“I’m not going to apologize,” Yasmin said through giggles.

“Call me a Belieber, his concerts are life-changing!”

“Sorry, but Justin Bieber is no Harry Styles,” I said as I helped myself to a slice of Brie.

“Harryween at Madison Square Garden will go down in history as the most mind-blowing concert of all time. My thirteen-year-old-self lost her voice for two days.”

“And I lost mine for three,” Reese said.

“So I completely cosign that.” She mimed dashing off her signature.

“Truth or dare?” Courtney asked Paige.

“Dare.”

“I dare you to go rearrange Aunt Stacy’s spice cabinet.”

Katie cracked up and fell back against her pillows.

“You two are evil ,” Amanda breathed.

“She is going to lose her shit…”

Paige smirked.

“It’s done!” she announced after disappearing downstairs for five minutes.

“Everything is officially un -alphabetized.”

“Katie!” Meredith said brightly.

“Truth or dare?”

“Dare,” Amanda answered for her.

Meredith took a sip of her rosé and then scratched her chin, pretending to think.

“Okay, I dare you…” She paused to build the suspense.

(Admittedly, I barely took a breath.) “To put Stephen’s hand in a bowl of warm water.”

Katie blinked.

“What?”

“You heard me,” Meredith said, lips curling into a smile.

“You want me to make your husband wet himself?”

Meredith nodded.

“I do.”

The rest of us took that as permission to cackle, and we cackled harder when Katie gingerly got off the bed and moved at snail speed toward her bedroom door.

Austin is going to die , I thought as I filmed her slo-mo exit.

Maybe this was one of the things he loved about Katie.

Her willingness—or, in this case, unwilling willingness—to step up to a challenge.

“Oh my god,” Yasmin said a few minutes later, still wiping tears of laughter from her eyes.

“Meredith—”

Whatever she was about to say got cut off; suddenly the door flew open and Katie ran through it, water sloshing out of the bowl she held.

“I didn’t even make it to the bed,” she told us.

“Let alone pick up his hand.” She looked at her friend.

“He knew it wasn’t you based on my footsteps alone; he knows yours by heart.”

Meredith smirked.

“Did I not mention that?”

Katie rolled her eyes.

“He also knew you were going to pull something like this.” She whipped around and locked eyes with none other than me .

“Madeline!”

My smile slipped off my face right as my heart slipped into my stomach.

“Yes?”

“Truth or dare?”

Blood pounded, pounded, pounded in my ears.

I liked a good dare, but there was no way I was going to risk Katie and her embarrassment countering Meredith’s dare by instructing me to draw on her grandfather’s face with lipstick or send me over to Wawa for snacks.

(That walk didn’t scare me, but it was past 1 a.m. and I hadn’t packed my pepper spray.)

“Truth!” I basically shouted.

“I pick truth.”

Katie’s shoulders slumped; she’d definitely had a dare planned.

“Um…”

“I have one,” Reese said when Katie couldn’t come up with a question.

“Mads, which guy are you hooking up with?”

My mind went blank.

I had zero clue what she was talking about, even though Katie’s cousins both exclaimed, “I was wondering that too!”

Reese could tell.

“You were hanging with two guys in the kitchen earlier,” she said as if I had amnesia.

“The dude washing dishes, and the lax bro stuffing his face at the island. Which one are you with?”

It clicked.

Oh.

My.

God .

Too much cheese curdled in my stomach.

“Neither!” I all but vomited.

“Ew, neither. Connor and I have been friends forever, and his girlfriend was also there tonight.”

“Is that why you aren’t with him?” Reese asked.

Her voice somehow poked me.

“Because he’s taken?”

I ignored her.

“And we went to high school with Marco. He goes to Princeton now.”

“Ooh…” Amanda raised an eyebrow.

“A Princeton man.”

“Never in a million bazillion years!” I exclaimed.

“Okay, okay, we get it.” Courtney gestured for me to lower the volume.

“You are not romantically linked to either of them.”

“But are you romantically linked to someone?” Yasmin asked.

Meredith chuckled. “Yaz, she’s seventeen!”

“Says the person who started dating her high school boyfriend at fourteen !”

“Yeah, and he turned out to be a total shithead,” Meredith said, shrugging.

“I’m just saying that you have a lot on your plate at seventeen, and maybe Mads doesn’t have time for a love life.” She glanced at me.

“Please tell me to shut up if I’m off base.”

I shook my head.

I liked Meredith—I actually liked her a lot but couldn’t help wondering why she was the one sticking up for me rather than Katie.

Because Katie was the one who’d known me for more than several hours.

“You’re not.”

She nodded in confirmation, but just when I thought that was the end of that , Katie cleared her throat.

“Mads,” she said. “Have you ever kissed anyone?”

Have you ever kissed anyone?

The question felt like someone was tugging my heart up from my guts, back to my chest where it belonged and could rattle around in my rib cage.

The answer, of course, was now obvious.

No, I hadn’t had my first kiss.

I was seventeen yet hadn’t done more than hug a guy.

Which barely counted because the only guy I’d hugged besides my brother was Connor, and hugs with Connor were more like football tackles.

Katie tilted her head, as if she suddenly found me the most fascinating creature alive—an absolute alien.

“Have you ever gone on a date?”

Blood began pulsing through my ears again.

This was, officially, the most embarrassing moment of my life.

How had the weight of everyone’s judgment not broken the bed yet?

“Mads, come on!” Katie lobbed a grape at me.

“You seriously haven’t been on a date?”

My hands balled into fists, wanting to scream at her.

Why was she doing this?

“Katie,” Meredith murmured as my eyes smarted with tears.

“Stop.”

Everyone was looking at me.

I so very desperately wanted to go home, but I couldn’t.

And even if I could, I still had an abundance of quality time to spend with these people in the coming months.

You need to own this , I told myself.

Just own this, Mads.

“No, I haven’t been on a date,” I said, trying to keep my voice level.

“And I’ve never been kissed.” I reached for our Whispering Angel rosé, and no one protested when I took a sip straight from the bottle.

One dose of liquid courage.

“It’s not that I don’t want to fit someone onto my metaphorical plate, and it’s not that there haven’t been opportunities…but those opportunities usually present themselves at field hockey camps.”

I waited for them to put it together.

They did not.

Alright , I thought.

None of you played sports.

“I was flattered by the attention,” I said slowly.

“And love is love—”

“But you aren’t into girls,” Meredith said, nodding as the other bridesmaids’ eyes blinked with enlightenment.

“Got it.”

“And I have no social life,” I went on.

“I’m away almost every weekend for field hockey, so I’ve only been to three—maybe four—parties since I started high school. And when I’m not gone, I really want to spend time with Connor and my family. I just…” I raised my arms. “I don’t know.”

A knot twisted when no one responded, and I took another sip of rosé to hide how uncomfortable I was from the silence.

Then, a third sip.

But before I could take a full-on pull, Meredith confiscated the bottle and said, “I have an idea.” She nudged Yasmin.

“What’s your idea, Mer?” Yasmin asked in an obvious stage voice.

I laughed, letting a few tears loose.

“You two are terrible actors.”

“They are,” Reese agreed.

“Hamilton once put on an amateur production of Twelfth Night , and they were—”

“A travesty!” Meredith interrupted like she still wasn’t over her flop as a thespian.

“We were a travesty, okay? Twelfth Night is a comedy, but Yaz and I turned it into a tragedy .” She exhaled.

“Moving on.”

“To your idea,” Yasmin prompted (much more naturally this time).

“Yes, my idea.” Meredith smiled at me.

“Remember how you said you and your friends would go on Bachelor Nation benders during your sleepovers?”

I nodded.

“Well, I think you should be the Bachelorette!”

A little part of me deflated.

Aspiring to Bachelor Nation?

That was her idea? “Sure, maybe someday,” I said gently.

“But I’m underage right now, and even if I weren’t, that audition process is pretty much a science. I heard if you make the top hundred, there’s a mock cocktail party with producers, and psych tests are involved…”

Katie laughed and shook her head.

“Mads, I don’t think she’s talking about you actually going out for the show.”

The snark was out before I could stop it: “Then what is she talking about, Katie?”

“Making you our Bachelorette,” she replied, taking it in stride.

In fact, her eyes had lit up with what resembled delight.

“You have no romance in your life. Let us help you change that.”

“Exactly,” Meredith said.

“We’re Katie’s hype squad for the next ten months, and we can be your hype squad, too. The seven of us can totally help boost your confidence to put yourself out there with guys.” She squeezed my shoulder.

“We’ll put our brains together and orchestrate different dates to help you find your dude.”

“Absolutely!” Amanda nodded enthusiastically.

“The goal will be for you to have a plus-one for Katie and Austin’s wedding.”

“Well, no,” Meredith said, “I didn’t mean for the wedding to be the motivating factor. Maybe she has a plus-one; maybe she doesn’t. She’ll have an amazing time at the wedding either way. I think the overarching goal should be for Mads to gain some valuable experience and have some fun as she searches for—”

“That message does not translate well into an Instagram story series, Meredith,” Reese interrupted.

“Amanda’s is much catchier.” She tipped her rosé at me.

“Let’s get you a wedding date, yes?”

Hesitating, I glanced around at the other bridesmaids.

Yasmin winked at me.

“I’m in.”

“Me too.” Courtney nodded.

“Definitely.”

My mind swirled.

Was I in? Was I actually going to do this?

“Me three,” Paige said, and then there was only the Bride.

Her eyes still shone, but I couldn’t read Katie’s expression; unlike her college roommates, she had some acting chops.

Or a poker face, at least. My heart hammered.

I’ll say yes , I thought.

If she wants me to do it, I’ll say yes.

Because then we would really have the chance to bond, and if we finally clicked, maybe she wouldn’t be so dead set on keeping her distance from my family anymore—or worse, so dead set on taking Austin away from us.

And I wanted Katie to like me.

I admit, I did.

“How about it, bride-to-be?” Meredith asked.

“Is there room in this party for another journey to love?”

One heartbeat.

Two heartbeats.

Three.

And then Katie smiled and raised her rosé to me.

“Yes,” she said, “as long as she’s doing it for the right reasons.”