Page 144 of A Female Alpha for the Lycan Prince

I frown as I realize my tiny mother wants to take my bag for me. “Mom, I can carry my stuff on my own.”

“You were just sick,” she argues. “And almost died! I’m strong enough to carry your small bag.”

This just feels so wrong, but unfortunately, there is no way my mother will listen to anyone if she has her mind set on something. We walk most of the way to my apartment in silence before I can’t take it anymore and just have to ask. It’s the one thing I didn’t even dare to ask Liam. “How did Dad take it?”

“He is devastated,” she admits quietly. “You should have seen what your father did to… him.”

“He’s not mad at me, is he?” I ask nervously. I’m glad that Calvin felt his rage, but I still need to know what Dad truly thinks about me. My biggest fear is that he will think less of me as his son.

She blinks. “Why would he be?”

I contemplate telling her my fears, but I know she would tell him then, and I’m not sure if I can have that talk already. “Nothing,” I mutter. “Just been thinking…”

“I don’t know what exactly you’re afraid of,” she admits quietly. “But you should talk to him when you’re ready.”

“I know,” I admit.

“It took a lot of convincing from Liam and me to keep him from coming here,” she explains honestly. “He wanted to come here the moment he found out, so did I, but I had a feeling it would be too much, too soon.” She follows me into my apartment and puts the bag down while I close the door behind us. Once I have my attention back on her, she takes my hands into her tiny ones. “I’ll handle it for you, for now, and make sure your father gives you the space and time you need, until you’re ready. But I assure you, he won’t disappoint you. These demons haunting you… a part of them will go away after you talk to him.”

“You think so?” I ask carefully.

She nods.

Calvin kept feeding me doubts about my family throughout the years. He started when I was just a small child, around five or six years old, claiming that my father and Liam would look down on me. They would be disgusted and deem me weak and pathetic. He said they would demote me, disinherit me, and strong alpha wolves like them would judge me for being so weak. He was wrong about Liam, because he’s been nothing but supportive of me and hasn’t judged me once. He was horrified and angry, but not at me.

Maybe Calvin was wrong about Dad too.

“This fucking asshole,” I suddenly blurt out. “He’s controlled me for years and taken away my chance at having relationships with everyone around me.”

Mom’s hands tighten into fists. “He won’t hurt you anymore. I’ll make sure he gets what he deserves… and it will be slow and gruesome,” she says with an unusual amount of venom and contempt in her voice. She takes a few breaths, forcing her anger down. “Is this the reason…” she says all of a sudden. “That you never chose your own beta?”

Her question surprises me. It’s been so long since someone asked me why I never chose a beta. Liam had Dante assigned to him very early. I’ve heard stories of how Dante visited Liam as a baby, and immediately felt protective over him, and later Liam chose Aryanna himself. Finn chose Anders himself too. The latter was a few years older than Finn and had protected him against a few bullies in school. They bonded over time, and their bond grew naturally. And Aurelia recently chose one of her best friends as her beta.

I kept telling everyone that I just hadn’t clicked with anyone yet and that I’d never felt bonded to anyone like they said I would, but the truth is I didn’t even want to look for anyone. I was so scared of being hurt or shunned.

I swallow hard, realizing Mom is still looking at me. “Yes,” I admit quietly. “I didn’t want anyone to get too close to me.”

Mom looks sad but doesn’t comment further. Wanting to lighten the mood again, I decide it’s finally time for that coffee, as I’d originally promised. I shuffle into the kitchen, preparing two cups for us.

“Mom,” I say, breaking the silence, “I’ve been pretty mean to everyone around me.”

“Don’t worry,” she smiles. “No one holds it against you. Your family is going to be there for you and help you through this. You’ve had to deal with many things on your own until now, things that no child should ever have to face.”

I stare at my coffee machine while contemplating my next words. “I know I’m the black sheep of this family,” I admit.

“Is that how you feel?” Mom asks with concern.

“Isn’t it the truth?” I ask, my apprehension clearly showing.

“It’s true that you and your father have fought a lot in the past, and that you’ve approached things in a different way to your siblings, but neither he, nor I, ever saw you as being anything less.”

“You must be kidding me?” I turn to face her, but she doesn’t look like she’s joking. “But I’m the weird child! The college drop-out. I’ve been an ass to everyone for longer than I can remember, and I never trained as much as I was supposed to.”

She sighs. “And if you asked Finn, he would say he is the weird one.”

“Finn is not weird,” I huff, surprised that he would even think that.

“Of course he isn’t, and neither are you. But if he were here, he would say that he is the one covered in tattoos and piercings, the rebellious teen who never fit in. He feels out of place, a lot,” she tells me. “And Dario would say the same about himself.”