Page 48 of A Fabulously Unfabulous Summer for Henry Milch

“I saw your picture in theEagle.”

I blushed.

“You did a good thing.”

“Oh, I don’t know—I mean, um, thanks.”

“This may sound unethical. It’s not. You’re no longer a patient of mine. We’re just like any two guys who meet in a restaurant. Well, maybe notanytwo guys.”

He was beginning to sound like me, which didn’t make any sense at all. He had no reason to be nervous or weird or uncomfortable.

“Would you like to go to dinner with me?”

“Oh.”

Seriously, I’d had no idea what he was working up to, but I didn’t think it was that.

“Um, you mean like a date?”

“Well, no, notlikea date. A date. Would you go on a date with me?”

I had no idea what to say. I mean, he was gorgeous, so I wondered if my lips would even be able to form the word ‘no.’ I should say no. I had a lot on my plate and no intention of staying in Masons Bay any longer than I had to. So if things—

“Yeah, of course, I’ll have dinner with you. I want to,” I said, perhaps a bit too enthusiastically.

We exchanged phone numbers and agreed to meet in front of Elaine’s Table at seven on Saturday night. Then he walked away.

As soon as I could pry my eyes off his backside, I began to wonder where I’d find someone to babysit my grandmother while I went on a date.

As I leftMain Street Café, I was high as a proverbial kite—and I hadn’t taken a single pill. Imagine that! I had to call someone. When I got into the Escalade, I pulled out my flip phone and pressed the button for my friend Vinnie.

“Hello, this is Vinnie,” his voicemail said. “I can’t come to the phone right now because I’ve met the man of my dreams. I know, you’re probablydyingof jealousy. Well, all I can say is… hang up and call 911.”

I didn’t bother to leave a message. I mean, maybe I’ve met the man of my dreams, too. I certainly wasn’t going to compete with Vinnie about that… at least not on voicemail.

Then I decided—stupidly I suppose—to call my mother. I mean, let’s face it, she’d always been more of a friend than a mother. Not even a great friend. More of a fun acquaintance. Surprisingly, she answered.

“I have a bone to pick with you,” she said.

“Where are you?” I asked.

“We’ve docked in Santa Barbara. How could you tell that awful person from County Hospital to callme? What were you thinking?”

“You told them to call me. You told them I’d pay a twenty-seven-thousand-dollar bill. What wereyouthinking?”

“Well, I certainly wasn’t thinking you’d pay it.”

“I told him that.”

"You should ask your nana.”

“Or you could ask her for me.”

“Oh, she wouldn’t give me the time of day. Besides, you know she dotes on you.”

“If she does, she waits until I leave the room.”

“That’s just her way.”