Page 18 of A Duke to Restore her Memory

Christina was silent as they walked into the foyer at Newquay Hall. She was so exhausted she could barely stand up.

Lord Ealing had returned to his home an hour ago – she and the duke were among the last of the helpers.

The injured had been cared for, either sent home or onward to hospital … and the dead had been transported home, as well, so that their families could mourn and grieve and prepare them for burial.

Her throat felt thick with tears, remembering when the wives had started arriving, wailing and keening, breaking down with grief over the bodies of their husbands.

It had been so heartbreaking – it had been very hard containing her emotions. She had felt like breaking down and keening with grief herself.

She sighed deeply, turning to the duke, her heart flipping. His face was lined with exhaustion and despair – his dark eyes looked haunted.

She had been so busy nursing the injured men, but she had noticed him taking control, leading the inquiry into what had happened, and the men's respect for him.

He deeply cared for them and wanted to get to the bottom of this tragedy. Seeing his response to the disaster and seeing him among the miners had been a revelation … and it had solidified her opinion of him.

He is a great man. A kind man. A man of integrity and courage.

“Thank you for your assistance,” he said in a low voice, threaded with weariness. “You were truly marvellous.” He hesitated. “I want you to go to your room to rest. I will tell Mrs Sollock to make a hot bath for you and send up a tray of food.”

Christina’s breath caught in her throat. “You are very kind,” she stammered. “You should rest as well, Your Grace.”

His dark eyes flickered over her, and his jaw tightened. A weight of emotion seemed to rush between them, filling the air. Her heart started to beat erratically, feeling like a small bird beating its wings frantically in a cage.

“I do not think I shall be able to rest,” he said in an anguished whisper. “For every time I close my eyes, I will see you … witnessing your strength amidst that chaos has profoundly affected me … I have never encountered a woman like you before, Georgina.”

She gasped, her heart beating faster still. His face was filled with such intensity and tenderness, unlike anything she had ever seen. And she had evoked that emotion within him.

She felt a corresponding rush of emotion so powerful that she gasped again.

There had always been a strong connection between them right from the moment they had met, but now, it had grown so strong it felt as if it were pulsating brightly, its glow filling the room and the space between them.

“I … I do not know what to say,” she whispered, her throat going dry. “Only that I have never encountered a man like you, either, Your Grace.”

Slowly, he reached out, taking her hand. He leaned down, kissing it, his lips pressing fiercely against her skin. This wasn’t a polite peck – she felt the passion in the kiss, barely restrained, threatening to engulf them both.

A frisson went down her spine, and her knees almost buckled beneath her. Was this swooning? Was this swooning with passion?

She had no idea if this had ever happened to her before with some other man, but it felt entirely new. It felt as if her very soul was opening to him, splitting open like spring’s first budding in the sunlight, humming and quivering with new life.

I have fallen hard for this man. I have fallen so hard that I do not know if I can ever get up again.

But quickly following on from the sensation was a profound feeling of sorrow and loss. It didn’t matter what they felt for each other – this first blossoming of passion and perhaps love between them was destined to be nipped in the bud. It could never fully blossom.

He is a duke - and I am a nobody without a name or a past. He can never seriously consider me. I know that. I have always known that. So why does it hurt so much?

Abruptly, he straightened, letting go of her hand. She felt the loss of the connection like a sudden amputation.

“Go now,” he whispered, his voice thickened with passion. “Rest. Recuperate.” He hesitated. “I will talk with you later.”

She nodded, curtseying quickly, before turning and walking down the hallway towards the staircase. Tears were burning behind her eyes, and her throat was so thick with emotion that she didn’t think she could find her voice at all.

When she reached the top of the staircase, she stopped, gazing back. He was still standing in the same position as if frozen in space, gazing at her intently. Their eyes connected and locked.

She couldn’t breathe. The spark between them was so bright and fierce that it was overwhelming.

Go. Turn and leave. Nothing good can come of this. Nothing good can come of falling in love with this man. You are destined for heartbreak if you succumb to it.

With great difficulty, she tore her eyes away, continuing to her room. When she reached it, she closed the door, collapsing across the bed, not even caring that she was filthy, wearing a ripped, dirty gown smeared with dirt and blood.

She berated herself soundly. He was a duke. She was a nobody … or at least, she had no idea who she truly was. His sister despised her and wanted her gone. She may as well be a child crying for the moon for all the chance she had with him.

Fiercely, she blinked back the tears. The sooner she recovered her memory and left Newquay Hall, the better for everyone … including herself.

***

The next day, Christina sat at the window seat in her room, gazing out the window disconsolately.

Even though she tried to tell herself to stop doing it, she had been waiting for the duke – she had been waiting for him to send for her, or to knock on the door. For something. But the summons, and the knock, never came.

And it will not come. He knows as well as you do that indulging this attraction between us is pointless. He knows there is no future in it.

Suddenly, her heart seized. There was a small, sharp rapping upon the door. She stood up, her heart racing, her mouth dry. She smoothed the creases in her gown with trembling hands before walking to the door and opening it.

She bit her lip. Lady Frances was standing there. Christina tried to ignore the way her heart plummeted and crashed to the ground.

It wasn’t him. It wasn’t ever going to be him.

“My Lady,” she stammered, curtseying quickly.

“Georgina,” said Frances, smiling at her warmly. “I wanted to check how you are.” She hesitated. “May I come in?”

“Of course, My Lady,” said Christina quickly, opening the door wider to let her enter. “I am honoured.”

Frances swept into the room. Christina closed the door, indicating that the lady should take the only chair in the room, while she sat down in the window enclosure again. They stared at one another without speaking for a moment.

“You look weary, Georgina,” said the lady in a soft voice. “I heard about your bravery after the explosion … how you nursed the injured miners. You are a wonder. Such a courageous, compassionate soul.”

Christina blushed fiercely. “You are too kind, My Lady.”

“I am only speaking the truth,” said Frances with a kind smile. She hesitated. “I wanted to see how you are and commend you for your work yesterday … but I have also called on you to give you a warning.”

Christina’s heart seized. “A warning?”

Frances nodded, looking pained. “Yes. A warning. I am afraid that the argument between you and Lydia is not over, Georgina … in fact, I believe it is only just beginning.”

Christina could barely breathe. “How so, My Lady?”

Frances sighed heavily. “Lydia and I attended a small dinner party last evening,” she replied slowly. “His grace was supposed to attend as well, but he begged off after what happened at the mine, saying he was too weary and preoccupied to go to a dinner party.”

“He was very upset about it,” said Christina softly. “He leads with his heart.”

“Indeed,” said Frances. “He is a kind man and takes his duty to his workers and tenants very seriously.” She hesitated. “Lydia was talking about you to our host and the other guests last night, Georgina … and she was not being very complimentary about you. In fact, I would say she was deliberately spreading rumours about you.”

Christina’s heart skipped a beat. She should have realized that Lydia would up the ante and do something like this. She had challenged the duke’s sister, and Lydia would not let that go. The lady had wanted to get rid of her anyway. Now, it appeared she was actively trying to do it.

“What was she saying about me?” Christina held her breath, waiting for the response.

Frances hesitated for another moment. “She was saying that she believes you are only pretending to have lost your memory to ensconce yourself at Newquay Hall to seduce and marry the duke.”

Christina jumped to her feet. “How can she say such a thing about me?” she cried, her heart filling with anger and frustration. “Why is she so set upon the fact that I am a fraud?”

Frances sighed again, shaking her head sorrowfully. “I am so sorry, Georgina. I do not believe you are making it up to deceive and seduce the duke deliberately.” She hesitated. “But then, I have made the effort to sit with you and talk with you, so I know you are genuine. But Lydia has been suspicious of you from the start and quite determined to think ill of you.”

“Why?” Christina turned to the other lady. “Why is she so determined? Why will she not give me the benefit of the doubt?”

Frances shrugged. “I do not know the answer to that question, either,” she said with another heavy sigh. “Every time I try to steer the conversation in that direction, asking why she is so determined to believe the worst of you, she will not reply.” She paused, gazing steadily at Christina. “I do not know why she is so resolute as to match me with the duke, either, when it is clear that neither of us is interested. But Lydia is a stubborn, determined woman, and when she sets her mind to something, it is very hard to sway her.”

Christina sat down again, her sudden anger dissipating. She just felt weary and sad now. She could do nothing to make Lydia like and approve of her, and even her best friend didn’t understand her motivation.

If Frances was in the dark about what was driving Lydia, then what hope did she have of understanding it?

“All I know is there must be something quite important driving her to do this,” continued Frances in a thoughtful tone. “She would not risk public scandal otherwise. It is not her style to stoop to gossipmongering and spreading rumours – usually she loathes such behaviour. So, whatever her reasons, they are vital to her. I am so sorry, Georgina.”

Christina sighed, gazing out the window. A sense of hopelessness overwhelmed her. She wasn’t welcome here. She was driving a wedge between the duke and his sister.

And the fierce attraction between her and the duke could never blossom into anything. Both of those factors were reasons enough to flee Newquay Hall as soon as possible.

Her heart filled with pain and frustration. If only she could get her memory back and return to her old life.

She knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that if it did not happen soon, she would just have to leave this place anyway … and start her life anew as a woman named Georgina. Before she was driven out.