Page 31 of A Duchess in Ten Days (Icy Dukes #2)

He kissed her then, with a deep, overwhelming urgency.

His hand moved to cup her face, pulling her closer as his lips took hers with a hunger that matched her own.

The kiss deepened, growing more urgent, as if everything they had been holding back had finally found its release.

Lavinia's heart raced as she melted into the kiss, losing herself in him, in the heat, in the overwhelming sense of rightness.

As their kiss deepened, Andrew let out a soft moan, a sound that caught both of them off guard.

He pulled away just slightly, his breath shallow as he tried to steady himself.

With a low murmur, he pulled her closer once more, his hands sliding down her sides to guide her gently toward the wall.

His lips found hers again, this time with even more intensity. The kiss was hungry...desperate.

As he pressed her against the wall, his body towering over hers, he held her there, his hands steady on her waist. For a moment, Lavinia felt as if she couldn't breathe. Her pulse raced in response and her breath came in quick, uneven gasps.

In the heat of it, Andrew reluctantly pulled back, his breath ragged, his forehead resting against hers.

He looked at her, his gaze intense. "I'm not angry with you, Lavinia," he murmured, his voice low, almost pained.

"I could never be. I'm angry at myself for not being able to stop thinking about you.

You have been haunting my every thought, and I can't concentrate on anything else.

All I can think about is how it feels to hold you. ..to be with you."

Lavinia's heart swelled at his words. She felt a feeling of relief and warmth wash over her and a smile spread on her face.

She placed her hands gently on his chest, her dewy eyes locking with his.

"I feel the same, Andrew," she whispered, her voice soft but full of meaning.

"You don't have to hold back from me. We can be happy together.

We can have a sweet family of our own. Our marriage doesn't have to be this way. "

Lavinia's words seemed to freeze the moment in time. His expression became rigid, and a look of resolve settled over his features. His body stiffened, and before she could process what was happening, he pulled away from her, creating an unmistakable distance between them.

"Lavinia, I cannot give you that." His face, once warm and open, had transformed into something unreadable. There was no softness now, no trace of the man she had just shared a tender moment with.

Lavinia blinked, the words barely registering. "What do you mean?" she asked, confusion making her voice crack. "I don't understand."

Andrew's jaw clenched as his eyes narrowed, his gaze distant, yet unyielding. "There's something you should know."

Lavinia swallowed hard, her heart pounding against her ribs. "Something I should know?" she echoed.

"I made a vow," he said. "Before my father died, I swore to him that I would never have children."

The room felt unnaturally still, as though the air itself had been sucked out of it. Lavinia stared at him, the meaning of his words sinking in slowly, but she was refusing to understand it. "You...you swore?" she repeated, as if saying it aloud would make it sound less real.

Andrew nodded once, his posture rigid. "Yes."

Lavinia shook her head, taking a step forward. "But why? Why would you make such a promise?"

He didn't move away from her this time, but his hands curled into fists at his sides.

His voice was calm, but there was something dark beneath it, something that made Lavinia's stomach twist. "Because I refuse to pass on what he passed to me.

My father...he wasn't just cruel, Lavinia.

He was..." He hesitated, running a hand through his hair before finally meeting her eyes again.

"He destroyed everything he touched. He destroyed me, and I refuse to take the risk of becoming him. "

Lavinia's breath hitched. "Andrew..."

But he shook his head, cutting her off before she could continue. "No. You don't understand. You see me now, and you think—perhaps—that I'm a better man than he was. That I can be different." His throat worked as he swallowed hard. "But blood is blood. And I have his."

A chill ran down Lavinia's spine. "You believed this? You truly, wholly believed that you are destined to be like his father?" she whispered, stepping closer despite the fear that he would pull away again. "You are not him, Andrew."

He let out a bitter laugh, devoid of any real humor. "You think that now. But you don't know what I am capable of."

Lavinia's hands curled into the fabric of her gown, frustration building inside her. "Then tell me," she urged. "Tell me what it is that you're so afraid of."

For the first time, Andrew faltered. His jaw tightened, his gaze flickering with a sudden vulnerability. But he said nothing. Silence stretched between them, heavy and unrelenting.

Lavinia clenched her fists. "I want a family, Andrew," she said finally, her voice trembling. "I want a future where we can be happy. Where we can build something better than what either of us had. But you...you've already decided that's impossible."

His breath came out unsteady, but his expression didn't change. "It is."

Lavinia blinked rapidly. "But you knew," she stuttered. "You knew I wanted a family, that I dreamed of children, of a life filled with love, and yet you married me knowing you would never give me that?"

Andrew flinched, but his expression remained cold and controlled. "It was the only way to protect you."

She let out a sharp breath, shaking her head. "Protect me?" Her voice wavered. "From what, Andrew?"

His jaw tightened. "From a fate worse than that."

Lavinia blinked, confused, but before she could ask, he spoke again.

"My sister," he said, his voice suddenly hoarse. "Margaret."

Lavinia stilled.

Andrew exhaled sharply, his fingers raking through his hair again.

"I told you about her, but what I didn't tell you was what happened to her.

She was just a girl when my father married her off.

A girl with dreams, much like you. He didn't care about the man's cruelty, didn't care about her tears or her pleas not to be with this man.

He saw an opportunity and he took it. And Margaret.

..she couldn't bear it." His voice broke slightly, but he forced himself to continue.

"She took her own life less than a year after she married him. "

Lavinia's breath caught, her chest tightening painfully. "Andrew..."

"I couldn't save her," he whispered. "I couldn't do anything for her because I had my own battles I was fighting because of that man. But I could save you from your father's decision. So, I did."

She took a shaky step toward him, but he shook his head.

"You think I don't want you?" he asked, pacing the room.

"You think I don't lie awake at night, haunted by the thought of what it would be like to have a life with you?

A real life? I just cannot. The only thing my father ever cared about was his name.

His legacy. The only punishment that I can give to him, even in death, is to make sure it dies with me. "

Lavinia scoffed and began to pace too, digging her finger into her hair. "Oh, great heavens," she whispered. "Andrew, don't you see that by doing this, you are punishing yourself as well? You deserve to prove him wrong. What about what I want, Andrew? Do I not get a say in my own life?"

His lips parted as if to respond, but no words came.

She exhaled harshly, shaking her head. "You are so caught up in punishing a dead man that you're willing to punish me as well. And for what? A vow made in bitterness? A legacy you refuse to let live?"

He took a step toward her, desperation flashing in his gaze. "Lavinia, I love you. That is the one thing I am certain of. I have never loved the way that I love you. We do not need children to be happy. We can have a life together, a good life. Just the two of us."

Lavinia's breath caught.

Love.

He loved her.

She had not expected him to say it, hadn't dared to hope. It was the one thing she had longed to hear, the one thing that could have undone all pain he had caused her since their wedding. And yet...

Why did it feel like a knife to the chest?

Tears welled in her eyes before she could stop them, her lips parting slightly, as though gasping for air, for understanding. He loved her, but apparently not enough. Not enough to let go of his pain, not enough to build a life with her the way she had always dreamed.

She shook her head, hating how much she wanted to believe him, how much she wanted to take the scraps of love he offered and pretend they were enough.

It felt as though the walls were closing in around her and it was making it difficult to breathe.

"I can't do this, Andrew," she said, her voice barely audible. "I can't be here. I just...I am too tired. I think...I think this is perfect time to pay my family a visit."

"Lavinia..." Andrew called her softly, with pleading eyes. "I don't want to let you go. But I will understand whatever decision you make."

Lavinia turned away, stepping toward the door as her heart shattered into pieces behind her.

She couldn't look at him anymore. She couldn't bear the way he was looking at her now and she had to get away.

She needed to breathe. Until she could figure out who she was without him, without the regret of what they could have been, she couldn't return.

Not yet.