Page 14 of A Duchess in Ten Days (Icy Dukes #2)
"Please don't talk about my marriage," Andrew snapped, stepping back and shaking his arms out. "I invited you here for a spar, not a sermon."
"Ah, I knew that's what it was," Solomon chimed in, shaking his head as he leaned casually against the ropes of the ring.
When Andrew had called on Victor and Solomon to join him for a morning of boxing, he had hoped the physical exertion would quiet his restless thoughts.
Solomon, the Duke of Montclaire and a recent acquaintance turned friend through business, was an enigma in their social circle.
He was a man raised outside the polished halls of the ton , with a reputation that followed him like a shadow.
But his straightforward demeanor and sharp wit had drawn Andrew's respect, and their shared passion for boxing had solidified their friendship.
"Marriage isn't the end of the world, you know," Victor said and paused. "It's a beautiful thing once you open your heart to it."
"For you, maybe," Andrew retorted, circling him. "You have somehow managed to find joy in it."
"Do you at least want to talk about it?" Solomon questioned, watching them spar. "It might help."
"There's nothing to talk about," he rasped in response.
Andrew's return punch was sharper this time, his frustration bleeding into his strikes.
"Nothing?" Victor pressed, stepping out of the way. "You're marrying a perfectly good lady. Why are you acting like you've been sentenced to the gallows?"
"It's not the gallows," Andrew muttered with a clipped tone. "But it isn't a garden party either."
"True love might not be on the menu, but this is hardly tragic," Victor said and shrugged. "You and Lavinia are friends from what I have seen. That's a stronger foundation than most."
Andrew's jaw tightened as he adjusted his gloves. "Friendship doesn't matter if the walls come crumbling down anyway."
Victor paused, giving him a measured look. "What walls, Andrew? You're speaking in riddles again."
Andrew avoided the question, as he continued to circle Victor, waiting for an opening to land a blow. "Just leave it, Victor."
Solomon, who had been leaning against the ropes, stood upright and shook his head. "This is why I don't understand you people. Marriage is just a contract. You do your duty, she does hers, and everyone gets on with their lives. What's all this brooding for?"
Andrew dropped both hands and shut his eyes. It wasn't as if he enjoyed the mood that had taken hold of him, nor the thoughts that refused to relent. The truth was that he couldn't help it. He couldn't stop thinking of Lavinia.
She had trusted him.
The thought gnawed at him, unraveling the walls he had built around his emotions.
He could see it in the way she had looked at him the first day they met, with that delicate hope in her eyes, as if he were the key to her escape from a life that had never quite fit her.
He had taken her trust, had allowed her to lean on him, promising her an array of choices.
But all he had to offer her was a prison built from duty and obligation.
He couldn't shake the feeling that by marrying her, he was condemning her to a life she didn't deserve.
He was a man who had no intention of offering her love or the promise of a happy family, only a title, and he knew she deserved far more than that.
Victor let out a low, almost exasperated laugh, as he wiped the sweat from his brow.
"Andrew, you're making this out to be more than it is.
Do you recall my marriage to Alice? It was far worse, I assure you.
We met for the first time at the altar. We couldn't even look at each other.
At least you and Lavinia were close to being friends before all this started.
You're already off to a better start than I ever was. "
He straightened up, giving a sharp exhale. "It's not as simple as you think," he replied. "I don't want to marry Lavinia."
"Then why did you propose?" Solomon asked.
"Because it wasn't about me," he admitted, his voice louder than before.
Almost immediately, he dropped his shoulders.
"Let's not talk about this anymore, all right?
Lavinia and I will be married in a few days.
It's happening. It doesn't matter what I want.
I have already made my decision. It's done. There's no turning back now."
Victor and Solomon exchanged a look, both seemingly reluctant to push any further.
"I still don't understand," Solomon found the courage to press on. "If you're not happy about it, why go through with it? It's not like you're a stranger to walking away from something you don't want."
Andrew's eyes narrowed. "Sometimes you don't get to walk away. Sometimes it's about doing what's expected, what's right...even when it feels like the last thing you want."
"Who is speaking right now?" Victor questioned and squinted his eyes. "I can hardly believe my ears. Since when did you start talking like this?"
"Can we spar? Please?" Andrew asked Victor. "As my friend, I am begging you to change the subject and distract me from all of this. Can you at least do that for me?"
Victor studied Andrew for a long moment, before nodding slowly, setting his jaw. "You're a pain, you know that?"
Andrew gave a strained smile. "I know. But I'll owe you one."
Andrew's eyes flickered with a brief spark of gratitude. Without another word, he moved into position, shedding the weight of his thoughts, if only momentarily, and focusing on the movement ahead.