Page 37 of A Different Form of Oxygen

He takes the card from my hand, keeping his fingers on mine longer than needed. Swallowing hard, he draws attention to his Adam’s apple. “Yeah, okay. You sure you’re okay?” when he drops his hands from mine, the comfort of his touch demolishes. I didn’t know how badly I needed his touch until it was there.

I try to smile again and manage to get my lips to only move halfway. “Yeah. We will talk later, okay?”

He nods and quickly swipes it and hands it back, making sure not to let his hand overstay its welcome this time.

I shove it back in my wallet, trying not to let the disappointment on my face become noticeable. “Thanks, um...see you later.” I knew If I stayed too long, he would have way too many questions for me, and I didn’t know how to answer them here. I didn’t want him to see me this way, and I wasn’t ready to see the hurt in his eyes.

I’m two steps away from reaching the door when I hear my name. “Ben, wait...”

I pause for a minute letting the sound of my name from his lips seep in, enjoying how it slipped out with ease and picturing how it lit up his gorgeous face. I don’t turn around though, instead I remain staring at the trees swaying outside the shop and say, “Sorry, Gavin, I have to go. See you later, okay? “

Then I grab the handle of the door and walk out. Once in my car, sitting in the darkened parking lot, I let the pain from my past release from my eyes. The tears cover my hands as I press them tightly against my face, clinging to them like a lifeline. Sometimes you have to be the one to hold yourself up, only, I much rather have Gavin be the one to do it this time. My body aches for the comfort his large arms usually bring. My eyes sting and my throat goes tight and once again all I can focus on is the one thing I came here to forget. He found me.David found me.