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“Like who?” I asked. Any extra information she might have—
Amren bared her teeth. “I am giving a magic lesson, not a history one.” She waved a dismissive hand. “If you want someone to gossip with, go find one of the dogs. I’m sure Cassian’s still sniffing around upstairs.”
Nesta’s lips twitched upward.
Amren pointed at her with a slender finger ending in a sharp, manicured nail. “Concentrate. Vital organs must be shielded at all times.”
I tapped a hand against the open doorway. “I’ll keep looking for more information for you in the library, Amren.” No response. “Good luck,” I added.
“She doesn’t need luck,” Amren said. Nesta huffed a laugh.
I took that as the only farewell I’d get. Perhaps letting Amren and Nesta train together was … a bad choice. Even if the prospect of unleashing them upon the Court of Nightmares … I smiled a bit at the thought.
By the time Mor, Rhys, Cassian, and I gathered for dinner at the town house—Azriel still off spying—my muscles were so sore I could barely walk up the front stairs. Sore enough that any plans I had to visit Lucien up at the House after the meal vanished. Mor was testy and quiet throughout, no doubt in anticipation of the visit tomorrow night.
She’d had to work with Keir plenty throughout the centuries, and yet tomorrow … She’d only warned Rhys once while we ate that he should thoroughly consider any offer Keir might give him in exchange for his army. Rhys had shrugged, saying he’d think about it when the time came. A non-answer—and one that made Mor grit her teeth.
I didn’t blame her. Long before the War, her family had brutalized her in ways I didn’t let myself consider. Not a day before I was to meet with them again—ask them for help. Work with them.
Rhys, Mother bless him, had a bath waiting for me after the meal.
I’d need all my strength for tomorrow. For the monsters I was to face beneath two very different mountains.
I had not visited this place for months. But the carved stone walls were just as I’d last seen them, the darkness still interrupted by bracketed torches.
Not the Prison. Under the Mountain.
But instead of Clare’s mutilated body spiked high to the wall above me …
Her blue-gray eyes were still wide with terror. Gone was the haughty iciness, the queenly jut to her chin.
Nesta. They’d done precisely to her, wound for wound, what they’d done to Clare.
And behind me, screaming and pleading—
I turned, finding Elain, naked and weeping, tied to that enormous spit. What I had once been threatened to endure. Gnarled, masked faeries rotated the iron handles, turning her over—
I tried to move. Tried to lunge.
But I was frozen—utterly bound by invisible chains to the floor.
Feminine laughter flitted from the other end of that throne room. From the dais. Now empty.
Empty, because that was Amarantha, strutting into the gloom, down some hall that hadn’t been there before but now stretched away into nothing.
Rhysand followed a step behind her. Going with her. To that bedroom.
He looked over his shoulder at me, only once.
Over his wings. His wings, which were out, which she’d see and destroy, right after she—
I was screaming for him to stop. Thrashing at those bonds. Elain’s pleading rose, higher and higher. Rhys kept walking with Amarantha. Let her take his hand and tug him along.
I couldn’t move, couldn’t stop it, any of it—
I was hauled out of the dream like a thrashing fish from a net cast deep into the sea.
And when I surfaced … I remained half there. Half in my body, half Under the Mountain, watching as—
“Breathe.”
The word was an order. Laced with that primal command he so rarely wielded.
But my eyes focused. My chest expanded. I slipped a bit further back into my body.
I did so. His face came into view, faelights murmuring to life inside their lamps and bowls in our bedroom. His wings were tucked in tight, framing his disheveled hair, his drawn face.
“Again,” he only said. I obeyed.
My bones had turned brittle, my stomach a roiling mess. I closed my eyes, fighting the nausea. Rippling terror kept its talons buried deep. I could still see it: the way she’d led him down that hall. To—
I surged, rolling to the edge of the mattress and clamping down hard as my body tried to heave up its contents onto the carpet. His hand was instantly on my back, rubbing soothing circles. Utterly willing to let me vomit right over the side of the bed. But I focused on my breathing.
On closing down those memories, one by one. Memories repainted.
I lay half sprawled over the edge for uncounted minutes. He rubbed my back throughout.
When I could finally move, when the nausea had subsided … I twisted back over. And the sight of that face … I slid my arms around his waist, gripping tightly as he pressed a silent kiss to my hair, reminding myself over and over that we were out. We had survived. Never again—never again would I let someone hurt him like that. Hurt my sisters like that.
Never again.
CHAPTER
I felt Rhys’s attention on me while we dressed the next morning, and throughout our hearty breakfast. Yet he didn’t push, didn’t demand to know what had dragged me into that screaming hell.
It had been a long while since those nightmares had hauled either of us from sleep. Blurred the lines.
It was only when we stood in the foyer, waiting for Cassian before we winnowed to the Prison, that Rhys asked from where he leaned against the stair banister, “Do you need to talk about it?”
My Illyrian leathers groaned as I turned toward him.
Rhys clarified, “With me—or anyone.”
I answered him truthfully, tugging at the end of my braid. “With everything bearing down on us, everything at stake …” I let my braid drop. “I don’t know. I think it’s torn open some … part of me that was slowly repairing.” Repairing thanks to both of us.
He nodded, no fear or reproach in his eyes.
So I told him. All of it. Stumbling over the parts that still made me ill. He only listened.
And when I was done, that shakiness remained, but … Speaking it, voicing it aloud to him …