Page 140

And it was the heart of a dreamer that had ceased beating inside that monstrous chest.
Its sudden silence echoed into my own.
I laid my head on its chest, on that now-silent vault of bone, and wept.
I wept and wept, until there was a strong hand at my shoulder.
I didn’t know the scent, the feel of that hand. But I knew the voice as Helion said softly to me, “Come, Feyre. It is not safe here. Come.”
I lifted my head. Helion was there, features grim, his brown skin ashen.
“I can’t leave it here like this,” I said, refusing to let go of its hand. I didn’t care how Helion had found me. Why he’d found me.
He looked to the fallen creature, mouth tightening. “I’ll take care of it.”
Burn it—with the power of the sun.
I let him help me to my feet. Let him extend a hand toward that body—
Helion obeyed.
“Give me your cloak. Please.”
Brows narrowing, Helion unfastened the rich crimson cloak pinned at each shoulder.
I didn’t bother to explain as I covered the Suriel’s body with the fine fabric. Far finer than the hateful rags Ianthe had given it. I tucked the High Lord’s cloak gently around its broad shoulders, its bony arms.
“Thank you,” I said one last time to the Suriel, and stepped away.
Helion’s flame was a pure, blinding white.
It burned the Suriel into ashes within a heartbeat.
“Come,” Helion said again, extending a hand. “Let’s get you to the camp.”
It was the kindness in his voice that cracked my chest. But I took Helion’s hand.
As warm light whisked us away, I could have sworn that the pile of ashes was stirred by a phantom wind.
CHAPTER
Helion winnowed me into the camp. Right into Rhys’s war-tent.
My mate was pale. Blood-splattered and filthy, from his skin to his armor to his hair.
I opened my mouth—to ask how the battle had gone, to say what had happened, I don’t know.
But Rhys just reached for me, folding me into his chest.
And at the smell and warmth and solidity of him … I began weeping again.
I didn’t know who was in the tent. Who had survived the battle. But they all left.
Left, while my mate held me, rocking me gently, as I cried and cried.
He only told me what had happened when my tears had quieted. When he’d washed the Suriel’s black blood from my hands, my face.
I was out of the tent a heartbeat later, charging through the mud, dodging exhausted and weary soldiers. Rhys was a step behind me, but said nothing as I shoved through flaps of another tent and took stock of what and who was before me.
Mor and Azriel were standing before the cot, monitoring every move the healer sitting beside it made.
As she held her glowing hands over Cassian.
I understood then—the quiet Cassian had once mentioned to me.
It was now in my head as I looked at his muddy, pained face—pained, even in unconsciousness. As I heard his labored, wet breathing.
As I beheld the slice curving up from his navel to the bottom of his sternum. The split flesh. The blood—mostly just a trickle.
I swayed—only for Rhys to grip me beneath the elbows.
The healer didn’t turn to look at me as her brow bunched in concentration, hands flaring with white light. Beneath them—slowly, the lips of the wound reached toward each other.
If it was this bad now—
“How,” I rasped. Rhys had told me three things a moment ago:
We’d won—barely. Tarquin had again decided what to do with any survivors. And Cassian had been gravely injured.
“Where were you,” was all Mor said to me. She was soaked, bloody, and coated in mud. Azriel was, too. No sign of injuries beyond minor cuts, mercifully.
I shook my head. I’d let Rhys into my mind while he held me. Showed him everything—explained Ianthe and the Suriel and the Weaver. What it had told me. Rhys’s eyes had gone distant for a moment, and I knew Amren was on her way, the Book in tow. To help Nesta track that Cauldron—or try to. He could explain to Mor.
He’d only known I was gone after the battle stopped—when he realized Mor had been fighting. And that I was not at the camp anymore. He’d just reached Elain’s tent when Helion sent word he’d found me. Using whatever gift he possessed that allowed him to sense such things. And was bringing me back. Vague, brief details.
“Is he—is he going to—” I couldn’t finish the rest. Words had become as foreign and hard to reach as the stars.
“No,” the healer said without looking at me. “He’ll be sore for a few days, though.”
Indeed, she’d gotten either side of the wound to touch—to now start weaving together.
Bile surged up my throat at the sight of that raw flesh—
“How,” I asked again.
“He wouldn’t wait for us,” Mor said flatly. “He kept charging—trying to re-form the line. One of their commanders engaged him. He wouldn’t turn away. By the time Az got there, he was down.”
Azriel’s face was stone-cold, even as his hazel eyes fixed unrelentingly upon that knitting wound.
Mor said again, “Where did you go?”
“If you’re about to fight,” the healer said sharply, “take it outside. My patient doesn’t need to hear this.”
None of us moved.
Rhys brushed a hand down my arm. “You are, as always, free to go wherever and whenever you wish. But what I think Mor is saying is … try to leave a note the next time.”
The words were casual, but that was panic in his eyes. Not—not the controlling fear Tamlin had once succumbed to, but … genuine terror of not knowing where I was, if I needed help. Just as I would want to know where he was, if he needed help, if he vanished when our enemies surrounded us. “I’m sorry,” I said. To him, to the others.
Mor didn’t so much as look at me.
“You have nothing to be sorry for,” Rhys replied, hand sliding to cup my cheek. “You decided to take things into your own hands, and got us valuable information in the process. But …” His thumb stroked over my cheekbone. “We have been lucky,” he breathed. “Keeping a step ahead—keeping out of Hybern’s claws. Even if today … today wasn’t so fortunate on the battlefield. But the cynic in me wonders if our luck is about to expire. And I would rather it not end with you.”