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Chapter nine

When we returned to Burtins, I settled Cecily down for a short nap before tea, despite her insistence that she needed no rest. I could see the old weariness about her eyes. “Just for an hour, dear. I’ll see that Mrs. Fredrickson remembers her promise about rock cakes.”

That seemed to calm her, and she was asleep within a few minutes.

I came downstairs just as Tobias entered the side door with the doctor. “Since Cummins is aptly afraid of you, Tessa, come down to the cellar with us—here—hold my pistol, thank you.”

I gripped the weighty weapon firmly, smirking at the doctor’s surprised expression.

The doctor nervously cleared his throat. “I suppose you are a woman of—of—” He stuttered around, unsure of how to finish the statement he was trying to make, without giving offense, I sensed.

Tobias finished for him. “Substance and quality with the ability to defend herself as the occasion arises.”

The doctor’s expression remained stunned. “Miss.” He bowed. “I hope the occasion does not arise. Women do not generally see such, or participate in such shocking episodes…”

I couldn’t let the fallacy alone. “You are a doctor. I believe you have seen your fair share of abuses women do unfortunately endure, of episodes they most certainly never wanted to play a part in.”

He turned a shade of red. I’d hit my mark, bullseye.

He made no other rejoinder than another bow, now realizing that I was no ignorant gentlewoman whose head was in the ballroom or the perpetual teacups while plotting a marriage.

I’d experienced life as it truly was, however unconventionally shocking.

I understood that while many women were indeed protected, most were not.

After helping Emmaline learn to defend herself last spring, to some degree, there grew within me a passion for unprotected women that had since blossomed.

I could do more than merely protect myself.

I glanced at Tobias. I could protect those I loved.

I would not, must not swoon again. Never again. I steeled myself against weakness. Tobias needed to trust my ability. I needed to trust it also.

We followed Tobias down the deep, cool steps to the wine cellar, the keys jangling as the door was unlocked. I held his pistol to aim, lest the man think he could overpower us. Oft there was naught more fierce than a wounded animal, or man.

“Stand back from the door, Cummins. I have the doctor; he is here to help you.” Tobias pushed it open.

“Cummins?” Tobias shone the chamberstick about the room. Twas empty. “Where is he? Who let him out?”

I looked behind us, towards the storage room. We searched around a stack of old, rickety crates and a few empty barrels. I skirted behind a bin of potatoes and onions. “He isn’t here.”

Tobias’s shoulders slumped. “How could this happen? I gave strict instructions!”

We climbed the steps back to the kitchen, where Tobias gave swift orders to gather all of his staff.

I had not observed Tobias this angry since Samuel killed Zachary in his drunken stupor. Quiet and seething, he paced.

The young doctor sat in the corner nearest the doorway, mildly amused by the dramatic turn his day had taken, no doubt. Would he scribble the tale in his journals later of the pistol-wielding woman?

Mrs. Fredrickson wrung her hands. The new, young maid looked down at the flagstone floor. The stable boy stood his ground. “I hate the man, why should I help him? He beat me, didn’t he? I’m glad he’s off so he can’t no more.”

Tobias placed a hand on the boy’s shoulder. “I am sorry to hear it. It should never have happened to you. I assure you that such will not again. You may go attend your duties.” The boy ran from the room, anxious to feed the horses.

Mr. Mulls sat and grumbled. “I was making Cecily’s kite. I looked from the window several times but didn’t see man or beast scampering about the hills.”

“How did he escape?”

Tobias shook his head. “I cannot figure it out. The door was locked, and the room was empty. Tis as though he vanished.”

“If no one set him free, then I believe you must check the old wine cellar for a different way out.”

“I will check again. Staff, you are dismissed.” He turned to the young doctor. “I will loan you a horse. You must be anxious to return to the village.”

The doctor bowed. “I thank you. Do send for me if any other need arises. Oh, perhaps it will help you to know that Cummins is a known character. I’ve heard rumors about him among the villagers.”

“What kind of rumors?”

“That he is a pickpocket, of the worst sort. Though it has been difficult to prove.”

“I should have returned to Burtins sooner.” Tobias folded his arms.

I wasn’t surprised—not after seeing him with Burtins’s silver. But if the doctor had heard the rumors, then the magistrate would have? Surely? In a village this size would be unavoidable. Wouldn’t someone have accused him, turned him in to the law by now?

Tobias and I made our way back down the cellar steps. We pressed and pushed against the aged stone, checked the cold, damp floor. “It appears that my property was on its way to becoming a gaming den of thieves.”

I thought of the list Cummins had stolen from Tobias’s study, the names on them, the weapons list—everything we had to go on. “I do believe it a den, mayhap much of more than thievery.”

Tobias closed his eyes and leaned against the back of the cool cellar wall. His mind must be as overwhelmed as mine. Too much had happened already. Too much was happening now.

“Are you alright?” I moved closer.

His eyes blinked open. “I was praying for help.” A soft smile rose. “I simply cannot figure out how he escaped.”

"Unless…" I lifted my chamber stick and looked up. He did, too. “Ah.”

We had our answer. The candle glow revealed a giant, gaping hole in the ceiling, showing rugged floor joists and a large enough path for the man to crawl through. A bit of rope dangled from it. Tobias pulled and found it to be well anchored, with thick knots for climbing.

“Only the most determined man could do it,” I said.

“Likely a man who has done it many times before.” Tobias gave it a try and slid down unsuccessfully. “He was helped. Had to be.”

“But who would come to his aid? He was not liked among your staff, that much was clear.” They seemed entirely innocent.

Tobias snatched his chamberstick and pulled me from the room, locking it tight. We went upstairs to the third floor. “I didn’t want to be overheard lest he be hiding like a rat within the walls. I will search the crawl space tonight.”

“Shouldn’t you have help? Please don’t go alone. Perhaps I can be of assistance.”

He took the chamberstick from my hands and blew out the flame. “You shan’t go, Tessa. I will be crawling through a hole that leads who knows where. It will be dirty with a century of grime. Full of spiders, like as not.” His nose wrinkled. “No help for it.”

The thought wasn’t at all inspiring. However, if Cummins were able to wiggle through, it would be easy for anyone. “Can you not call for the magistrate first?”

“Not enough time. He might escape by the time he arrived.”

“You are right.” I shrugged. “I guess that leaves me.”

He put his hands on his hips and cocked his chin. “ Miss Smith . You will stay at Cecily’s side as she is of great import to the Chinworth family.” His chin dipped. “Please. I trust you to protect her.”

I noted the seriousness of the situation. The true nature of my position. “This I will do. But know that I will worry over you while you are gone. I wish you would get help.” I sounded very much like a wife, and it stabbed my heart.

“I shall. I wonder if Mr. Ode is up for an adventure. Or the stable boy? He will do as I bid. I’ve half a mind to send the lad to Joseph for training. I am incensed to know that Cummins had been beating him. It is unconscionable.”

“It is. I think that's an amiable idea.” I tried to smile. “I will be waiting up for you.”

He bowed, then spoke in a soft tone that was my undoing.

“I thank you, Tessa, once again. For everything.” His eyes seared me to the soul.

Would it ever be so? He leaned over me, and I burned.

I couldn’t step away from him, nor could I speak.

He shifted, then bent and kissed my forehead.

I sucked in air at the press of warmth—of affection.

But before either of us could react, he turned and sped away.

His action left me breathless. Had it been as though he kissed his sister?

Was it a momentary thoughtlessness? It must have been.

His overly tired mind wasn’t thinking.

I wandered to my room, a hand over my heart. Could it take much more? I did not know. I did not want to be his sister.

When Cecily awoke, we ate a solitary supper in the dining room and played a round of cards, a bit challenging due to being only two players.

Then she scampered off to Mrs. Fredrickson for the promised baking, and I spent time doing nothing but gazing from a rather warbled window onto a distorted landscape. If only we might see clearly…

My heart was raw. On this day, I’d seen my husband alive—or so I thought.

It sent me spiraling into such fear as I’d never known.

The fear of losing Tobias, not Patrick. The fear of never being able to truly love him and belong to him.

I could not go back in time. I would not change my story as hard as parts of it had been.

I squeezed my eyes shut and rubbed the dull headache that began behind my eyes.

My heart had gone far beyond a mere admission that I loved him. I was dedicated to him. His life, his well-being. It was heavy to carry these feelings alone. I hardly even know how they started.

I’d been a companion to Emmaline sent to help her choose a mate between three brothers.

Without her knowledge, I’d been positioned for the past two years by Joseph, who desired to see us both safe.

When we left the outskirts of London for the countryside of Butterton, I thought my job would be a simple one.

Emma was no fool. It didn’t take much to influence her away from the Chinworth gentlemen.

She’d chosen none of them from the start, believing Joseph’s warnings.

Yet I could not protect my own heart from such demise.

My heart had chosen a Chinworth, for better or worse.

What do I do with my love, God? What? I begged my Creator for help. No answer came but for a stillness. I must wait. For that, I would need strength.

When it was time to attend Cecily, she donned her nightgown and we read a novel, each taking turns. It was hard to focus, so occupied were my thoughts. I must have gone quiet when it was my turn to read. Cecily’s hand slipped into mine.

“You don’t have to read any more, Tessa. I’m tired. I’m ready to go to sleep.”

I sang her an old song of medieval days and set her dreams to knights and ladies at the old castle ruins. Then I left the room and sank onto the steps. Waiting for him.

Tobias hadn’t told me of his continued plans to snake through the opening in the crawl space in the cellar.

I hoped he would find me—at least inform me when he was about to do so.

He was serious when he said he didn’t want me to follow, that I was to see to Cecily’s protection.

I didn’t blame him. I wanted to be with her.

I nodded off to sleep a few times, finding myself leaning against the cold, hard stone wall along the stairs.

I rose and arched my stiff back. I needed to check on Cecily, and after finding she was sound asleep, I returned to my post. How late was it?

I had no pocket watch, and Burtins sadly lacked a clock of any sort.

I peered from a window—the bright moon had moved across the night sky. It must be very late indeed.

I yawned, stretched my limbs, and sat again. When I awoke, I was lying on my own bed, fully clothed. I did not remember coming back here—no. My last memory was of being on the cool stairs, waiting. Had someone carried me? Had Tobias done so?

Three times he’d been obliged to carry me. Three times I’d revealed a weakness. I peered over at Cecily’s bed. Empty. She never woke before midmorning… I rushed from the room as fear plunged deep. How could I fail this simple task? My only task?