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Chapter one

Tobias Chinworth entered the parlor, where I sat primly upon the settee. I was once a lady. I knew how to act the part. Yet, I stood at his entry as the servant I’d been portraying for the past few years...first with Emmaline in London. Now, here. At Mayfield Manor.

The wrinkle between Tobias’s brows belied deep thought, his height entirely unaffected by the discouraged stoop in his shoulders. He bowed to me in acknowledgment. Neither of us stood on ceremony very often, not after what we’d been through. I waited for him to speak.

I knew what he meant to ask—what he’d already hinted upon. He turned to stand before the large window, his gaze unseeing. Was he remembering what I, too, could not forget? Compassion welled within me to near bursting. Was more than anyone’s heart could take.

Never mind that he’d been despicable over the spring tide when he vied for dear Emmaline Carter’s hand. His blasé comments to me were oft accompanied by a wink behind Emma’s back and a twinkle in his eyes.

The man had been a flirt through and through.

But now? Grief had drowned the flighty parts of him entirely, and I was seeing a truer Tobias Chinworth.

One that had to reckon with the raw reality, and no flirtation, no diversion, no elaborate party could dull the pain.

Such grief I, too, have known in my now distant past, though I be but five and twenty.

It has only been a few weeks since Mr. Chinworth, Tobias’s father, returned with news of Samuel’s death—and Mr. Chinworth’s subsequent imprisonment.

I was only vaguely aware of the charges as Joseph had left much out of the letter he’d sent to me.

But to lose two brothers to an early grave, and a father to due demise, I couldn’t fathom.

Twas a shock that coursed through Butterton and all of London by now.

The Banbury scandal had brought more than one gentleman to his knees; its scandalous tendrils reached far and wide.

Tobias stilled—the lavish mass of Grecian curls usually expertly tamed bespoke he’d been riding without his hat and at great speed. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes while I waited.

I’d been watching for Tobias the day that irrevocably changed his life. He’d agreed to help us—to help Joseph and Emma leave Mayfield Manor and Mr. Chinworth’s machinations during the busy crush at the Butterton Hall ball.

He’d lost faith in his brother, Samuel. Despised his evil plans. Despised his father’s manipulations. He’d sought his cousin Joseph for counsel.

We didn’t count on little sister Cecily—the girl had a mind of her own and little knew the consequences her actions would take. She’d wanted to attend the ball, too, and had deceived her nurse concerning her medicine. She should have been sleeping.

If Cecily hadn’t—if I had—oh, what could be done now?

One couldn’t simply turn back time and make different choices.

I’d found her just before the first tragedy.

I hid her face within my skirts, then gathered her in my arms and ran to the vicarage, away from the mayhem and Zacharay’s crumpled body—accidentally killed by his drunken brother, Samuel.

Later, I heard that Tobias tried to save his life. Tried and failed.

Tobias finally opened his eyes and turned to face me. I had to give him my answer. Today.

I had been waylaid by a new purpose over the last month.

A sick, grieving girl clung to me and her last living brother lest we, too, leave her.

I knew I could not. For all that was in my soul, I could not leave Cecily to her strange, new life alone.

Motherless, Fatherless, but one surviving brother and few remaining household staff who didn’t seem to care that she carried no spark of happiness and few companions to give her fellowship.

“Tessa.” He waited, perspiration beading his upper lip. Twas a hot day, not fit for man or animal. Yet, he’d been out again, searching for his lost—mayhap stolen—infant nephew. “If it’s about your salary…”

“It is not about that, as you well know.” I hadn’t meant for my voice to sound clipped or impatient.

“Yet, you hesitate.” He tugged at his collar. “I would not blame you if you wanted to leave this cursed place.”

No. That’s not what I wanted. I wanted to gather him in my arms. Hold him. Comfort him. Heat burned my face at the thought. Compassion and love were two differing emotions. I’d best be careful.

Cecily had improved but little. My stay at Mayfield Manor seemed indeterminate, but my future was completely at my own will. I could live independently if I chose. My hesitation came from one single concern. My heart.

The more I’ve come to love the little imp, the more my heart has weakened towards her brother.

If I stay, my heart might betray me and subsequently break me.

I wasn’t sure if I could handle another loss.

My husband’s death some years ago had been entirely unexpected.

I’d grieved much. I tried ever so hard not to care for Tobias. Or love him. I was failing. Utterly.

He doesn’t know. Must not know. And here I stand the fool for not giving the obvious answer. Vain thing I am to allow romance, or fear thereof, prevent me from doing what I knew to be right.

I curtsied. “I would be honored to continue with Cecily and am happy to attend her at your estate.”

A flash of relief crossed his eyes. He needed me for Cecily.

That was all. “Mayfield Manor has every comfort. But Burtins Hall is, shall we say, significantly more rustic.” His voice lifted on a rare, positive note, “Will be cooler than here; I can vouch for that.” He swiped sweat away with his handkerchief and unbuttoned his wool jacket.

I wish protocol allowed him to dash it off in this infernal heat.

I was thankful to be in short sleeves. “Give Cecily a change of scenery.”

Gone was the cocksure gentleman that I’d observed when I first arrived with Emmaline last March. Here stood one changed by the gravity of life. How often had I seen him at war with himself as his brothers plotted and vied for my companion’s hand?

When he wasn’t flirting, he’d been downright cold. Other times, his soul leaked from his eyes when he didn’t know I was watching.

Mayfield Manor had taken on quite a different mood since then. It was as though the entire estate knelt on its knees in repentance for its occupant’s doings.

For one, Tobias had started attending church. The good vicar met with him often. And my step brother, Joseph Carter, now clasped his hand as a brother, rather than the indifferent cousin he’d been.

Who knew that a sudden partnership that one fateful night but one month past, would bring about my present occupation?

“Tessa? Of what do you think? There is a faraway look in your eyes. Are you sickened by this heat?” He threw open a window, and a blessed breeze filtered in.

“I never thought I’d—the past few months—” I hesitated to bring it all up again.

His eyelids lowered, and his mouth drew a line. “Tessa. I don’t know what I would have done without you.”

There it was. The wave of emotion in his voice would keep me pinned to my task of caring for his sister. At least until their lives could maintain a semblance of normalcy. Or until Tobias married. I would not stay then. Could not.

My heart must have bled into my expression.

“You do not believe me?” His gaze was sincere, to be sure. I did believe him. That I was useful—helpful. Regarded with respect. But anything else? I’d have to conceal my heart better than this. Besides, I had no business losing my heart to this rogue. No matter how repentant he may be.

“I am happy to be of service.” Service. Would that be the only thing I’d be good for anymore? I had chosen this path, after all. I could be the weary widow doing nothing but existing within four walls if I desired.

A strange look came over his face. “I ought not keep the full truth from you, Tessa.”

I swallowed at the lump in my throat. “I daresay not.” What more could be said? The truth and more truth could turn lives quite another direction. Would that be the case?

He nodded. “I didn’t want to tell you, but I think it best. I don’t feel we are safe here. I feel—watched. Spied upon.” He put his hand in his pocket. “I found this. On Father’s desk in his study.”

He handed the missive to me. “A threat has been made. The constable believes I should take it seriously given the circumstances of Father’s crimes and Samuel’s tragic rampage…”

I unfolded the paper. “The Chinworth name will fall in the rubble of its stone. Not one will remain. Pay or die.” My hand slipped to my throat. "Horrible…and confusing!"

He shook his head. “To be entirely honest, though it goads my pride to say it, there isn’t much in the way of finances. Personally, I’ve naught but what little my estate brings in.”

“Is there an outstanding debt?” Such a strange request—payment or death. Pay whom?

Tobias grunted. “I cannot find evidence of debt, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t. And how should I know who to pay? Ambiguity doesn't help the matter, does it? I'd ask Father but he won’t speak to me—won’t answer any of my questions. He told me to leave Mayfield. Indeterminately.”

“You trust that command?” Perchance the note was intended for his father instead. Tobias needed to shave. The dark shadow of a beard gave his boyish features a roguish cast. He wasn’t getting much sleep either.

He shrugged. “In light of this?” He pulled the note from my hands.

“I have nowhere else to go. Besides, it’s high time I looked after my estate.

I’m not doing my father’s bidding any longer.

I couldn’t. Not after everything. But what I can do is get you and Cecily somewhere safe.

I feel it—I don’t know why, but I feel it is the right move to make. ”

So, we’d go to Burtin’s Hall. Twenty miles north of here.

Perhaps Cecily would do as we hoped. She’d heal.

And Tobias… he had truly changed. So much.

And yes, my heart was at risk —regardless of my determination to remain a mere servant to his sister.

But, could I really trust the man? Many reformed gentlemen fell back into old habits. It could happen.

Ah, well. Time would tell. And if I was in any danger, I smirked; I could defend myself, even without weapons. Thanks to Joseph’s training.

“You find our situation humorous?” Tobias’s brows rose.

“No indeed, Mr. Chinworth. I merely smile in the face of the future.”

“I wish I had your enthusiasm.”

“We’ve already come through the worst, don’t you think?”

He took a step closer and halted; his eyes grew warm.

“When I find Samuel’s child alive, I may learn to hope again.

” He shook his head. “I know not where else to search. I wouldn’t stop; except I’d rather be alive to raise the lad when he is found.

Lord Sherborne assures me my absence will not stall his assistance to find the babe, but… ” his voice trailed off.

I put my hand on his arm. “Of course. I pray each day for his return.” How could a babe disappear so easily? It was a conundrum none of us could figure out.

“Samuel didn’t deserve him…” Tears smarted his eyes, but he did not try to hide or wipe them away. “Is he still alive? I do not know. How can I explain my affection for a babe I’ve never met?”

I had no words but stayed by his side. His left hand rose slowly and cupped my cheek. My heart thrummed at his nearness. Did he care? Like that?

“Don’t stop praying, Tessa.”

“I won’t.”

I felt a stab of guilt at the doubt I’d entertained. Tobias Chinworth was a changed gentleman. I could trust him.

“Tessa…” he whispered. His voice, low and husky.

I swallowed.

“I meant what I said, I—" A scream split us apart.

Cecily was awake.