Page 12
Story: A City of Swords and Fangs
CHAPTER 12
H ans asked me to go sailing with him again, but I had to turn him down because of my appointment with Master Mikhail. The approach by Nikolas Müller was one of several I had received from men in my short time in Zürich. In Müller’s case, he was wealthy, good-looking, and with a promising political career ahead of him, and I doubted he wanted to get together with me because he lacked female companionship. I assumed he knew who I was and my relationship with both Master Adolphus and his own brother, Roland.
I really didn’t need the complications that came with having a boyfriend—or with playing the field. I did enjoy spending time with Hans and thought he would make a good friend. I wasn’t comfortable with most men, however, and had very little interest in sex. In my experience, though, sex was something men were very interested in.
I called Amelia Sorento. She was in her mid-nineties, barely five feet tall, with straight black hair to her waist. Pretty as a doll, oozing with European elegance, and one of Master Greenwood’s bedmates.
“Katy! What a pleasant surprise,” she said when she answered the phone. “Hopefully pleasant? Is anything wrong?”
“Oh, no, things are going well. But I do have a bit of a dilemma and hoped you might be able to help me out.”
“I’ll certainly try. What seems to be the problem?”
“Boys.”
There was a pause, then she said, “Okay. Let me get a drink and find a comfortable chair.”
We made small talk for a few minutes. I heard a refrigerator door close, ice cubes rattle about in a glass, and I told her about going sailing out on the lake. Then I heard a sigh.
“Okay, I’m set,” Amelia said. “What about boys?”
“I seem to be attracting them. I assume Master Adolphus’s household hasn’t changed much since you lived in Zürich, so you know that my social life and my home life have only a vague awareness of each other.”
She laughed. “I understand what you’re saying, although I never lived with him.”
“He’s perfectly nice, and so are Frau Buckner and all of the staff, but I’m starting to interact with people at the Guild, and they sort of drafted me into the Enforcers when they found out I’m a tracker. I am making friends, and I’m going to a play tonight with a couple of girls I met. But I’ve been asked out several times, and the guy who took me sailing seems very interested.”
“Uh huh. So, what’s the problem?”
“Amelia, I like Hans, and one of the other guys who asked me out appears nice, but I’m not interested in having a boyfriend. I mean, maybe I’m wrong, but men always want sex. And if you sleep with them once, they want to do it again. Hell, they want to do it all the time, right? One of the girls I’m going to the play with just started sleeping with her boyfriend, and the only time anyone sees her now is when he’s busy.”
“I’m still not sure I understand the problem.”
“If you don’t sleep with them, then they disappear. I mean, the only reason Hans wants to take me sailing is because he wants to get in my pants. And if I don’t put out, he’ll get bored and find someone who will. And if I do, then I’ll probably spend all my free time in his bedroom, and I still won’t get to go sailing.”
Amelia’s laughter didn’t surprise me. I knew I probably sounded absurd.
“Katy, that’s just the way things work. Someday, you’ll find someone you want to spend all your time with.”
“I don’t think so. I look at my friend, and she wants to get laid. I mean, really, really wants to. I couldn’t care less. An orgasm isn’t worth the bullshit you have to put up with.”
Her voice dropped into a soothing tone. “I know your sexual experiences weren’t exactly loving ones?—”
I cut her off. “Yeah, I have trust issues, and getting raped at fourteen isn’t exactly what I would recommend as a prelude to normal relationships. But the fact is, I just don’t like it that much, I don’t get hot and bothered over a tight ass or a nice smile, and I really don’t like the emotional baggage that most people seem to crave.”
“Have you ever been attracted to anyone? Male or female?”
I chuckled as I realized that shaking my head probably wasn’t a good way to answer that question over the phone.
“No. I mean, if I were gay, I probably couldn’t ever do better than Jodi. She loves me, she’s sweet, kind, and gorgeous. But I’m certainly not in love with her, and I’d rather she didn’t crawl into bed with me every time she gets the chance.”
Another long pause, then Amelia said, “What you do is tell people that with the move to a new country, your studies, and everything else that’s going on, you just don’t have the bandwidth for a relationship right now. If they press you, tell them that you had a very traumatic life in Queen City, and that you need time to get your head together. And leave it at that. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for anything. Got it?”
“Okay. Thanks, Amelia. I’ll talk to you soon.”
I really didn’t feel a lot better, or less confused, after talking with Amelia, but it helped at least to tell someone what I was feeling instead of keeping it all bottled inside. And she didn’t tell me I was stupid. I finally decided that clarity was an overvalued goal, and that I’d survived being confused for most of the past decade, so it probably wouldn’t hurt me going forward.
I tossed the phone on my bed, then went to take a shower and get dressed for the theater.
Table of Contents
- Page 1
- Page 2
- Page 3
- Page 4
- Page 5
- Page 6
- Page 7
- Page 8
- Page 9
- Page 10
- Page 11
- Page 12 (Reading here)
- Page 13
- Page 14
- Page 15
- Page 16
- Page 17
- Page 18
- Page 19
- Page 20
- Page 21
- Page 22
- Page 23
- Page 24
- Page 25
- Page 26
- Page 27
- Page 28
- Page 29
- Page 30
- Page 31
- Page 32
- Page 33
- Page 34
- Page 35
- Page 36
- Page 37
- Page 38
- Page 39
- Page 40
- Page 41
- Page 42
- Page 43
- Page 44