Page 26 of A Bride for the Wicked Duke (Claimed by Regency Devils #2)

Chapter Twenty-Six

T he wedding had already begun. I am too late…

This did not stop Gerald from jumping down from his horse and striding toward the church, his mind set, his actions thought of, the consequences accepted because he knew that he could not live with himself if he did nothing. And nothing was what he came very close to doing.

He had spent the night wondering what he should do. And when he was finally ready to admit such a thing, he spent the morning wondering if he could really go through with it. The timing was perhaps his biggest concern, as he had waited until literally the last minute. And what if Lady Hawkins had changed her mind? What if he told her his feelings and she rejected him? What then?

In the end, he decided that it did not matter. I will never forgive myself if I do not at least try. And even if she does turn me away. Even if this is all for nought. At least I will have stopped lying to myself.

Gerald had hoped to reach Aurelia before the ceremony had begun. That would have been ideal. But seeing the doors closed and hearing no music or chatter coming from within suggested he was either too late… or he had mere seconds to act. So it was, without a second thought, that Gerald reached the closed doors to the church, took them by the handle, and then threw them open.

The effect of such an entrance was as expected as it was calamitous.

Shocked gasps ripped from the seated guests. A few cries of surprise also. Heads turned. Mouths dropped open. One or two people made to stand as if they meant to attack him and force him back. But mostly, it was bewilderment that struck the church, forcing upon it a silence that stretched from where Gerald stood toward the altar.

The altar was where Gerald’s eyes went immediately. There stood Aurelia, dressed in a stunning green gown, looking as gorgeous and perfect as he remembered. How had I fooled myself for so long? How had I not been able to see what was in front of my eyes this whole time? She gaped at him, impossible to tell from her expression if she was happy that he had come, or furious that he had dared to interrupt.

With her was Lord Mildenhall, holding her by the hands as the priest read their vows. He looked at Gerald as if he did not quite understand who he was. As if he thought he was imagining things. His head turned from Gerald to Aurelia, his eyes widening slowly as the realization dawned.

“Lady Hawkins…” Gerald started down the aisle. “I –”

“What is the meaning of this!” Lord Mildenhall came into himself. He dropped Aurelia’s hands and turned, taking a few short steps toward Gerald. “Your Grace! What do you think you are doing?”

“What I must.” He did not look at Lord Mildenhall as he spoke, choosing to focus on Aurelia only. “What I should have done weeks ago but was too stupid to do. But I am done being stupid. And I am done with all the lies. Lady Hawkins –”

“I ask that you leave at once,” Lord Mildenhall cried. “This is my wedding day, Your Grace!”

“I am sorry, Lady Hawkins,” Gerald continued, speaking over Lord Mildenhal. He walked halfway down the aisle and stopped, knowing better than to try and push past the upset lord. “For lying to you. All this time, that is what I have been doing. When you came to me and told me how you felt –”

“How she felt!” Lord Mildenhall exclaimed. “What does that –”

“—I should have listened. Dammit, I should have seen what was right there the whole time. But I was scared. I…” He shook his head. “I have spent so long worried about what people think of me that I did not stop to consider that the only person whose opinion I needed to worry about was the one person who I care for more in this whole world than anybody.” He held her eyes and smiled. Lady Hawkins, brow furrowed, did not return it. That gave him pause, a moment where he wondered if he was too late…

“Stop this at once!” Lord Mildenhall looked to Aurelia’s brother. “Do something!”

“You, is who,” Gerald continued bravely. “You are who I care for – no, not care for.” His smile grew, radiating with such brightness that it drowned out the sun that shone through the windows. “Love, Lady Hawkins. I love you. And before you marry Lord Mildenhall, I need you to know it. I need you to understand how I feel. You deserve the truth, is why, even if it is too late. Even if you hate me. Even if you want to never see me again. I could not live with myself otherwise.”

More gasps. More cries of outrage. Lord Mildenhall looked caught in a state of utmost apoplexy; his head swiveled from Lady Hawkin’s brother to his mother to Gerald and back again. But Gerald ignored it all.

He stayed looking at Lady Hawkins, desperate for an answer. Desperate for any indication that he was not too late. The marriage was not officialized yet. Still, Lady Hawkins could walk away, if she chose. All she needed to do was see that for once Gerald was speaking his truth and admit to herself that she felt the same way. But her brow was furrowed tightly. Her face was scrunched into a confused ball. It was impossible to see how she felt or what she might say, and Gerald again wondered if this had been a mistake.

“Oh!” From the front of the church, Lady Hawkin’s mother suddenly jumped to her feet, only to collapse.

“Mother!” Lady Hawkins cried and went to her. “Somebody!”

Anarchy broke out after that. The crowd rose to their feet and surged on the passed-out woman. People screamed and shouted. Lady Hawkins could not be seen, for she had fallen on her knees to support her mother. Gerald meant to go to her but there were too many people in the way.

“Lady Hawkins!” he cried out. “Please!”

And then, through the crowd, her brother, Lord Grayhill appeared. He caught sight of Gerald and approached him. Like his sister, it was impossible to tell what was on his mind. But Gerald knew him to be a stern sort, proper in every respect, and thus likely furious for what Gerald had done.

“Your Grace…” He came in beside Gerald. “I think you and I best speak privately.”

“Your mother…”

“Is fine,” Lord Grayhill said. “She knew a distraction was needed and sought to create one herself.” He shook his head at the notion. “But we must speak. Now.”

Gerald looked for Lady Hawkins, needing to see her again. Needing to see if there was any suggestion at all that this entire charade wasn’t folly and a waste of time. Am I too late? Does she still feel the same for me? I must know!

Nonetheless, Gerald allowed himself to be led. Through the crowd, outside, and toward the back of the church. Even if Lady Hawkins did still feel the same for him, that did not mean she would be allowed to simply end this engagement. Lord Grayhill was the patriarch of the family and his word was law. Little wonder that he saw the need to speak with Gerald before anything else was said… or he made things any worse. Little chance of that.

* * *

Gerald paced back and forth, his anxiety building by the second. Lord Grayhill had led him outside and then asked him to wait, striding back toward the church without another word said. The first thought to cross Gerald’s mind was that he was going to fetch his sister, which excited him as much as it did terrify him. He had so much to say, and where moments ago his mind had been clear and focused, now his emotions were crashing upon him so that if he did see Lady Hawkins, he wasn’t certain he would be able to speak.

And what if she refuses to come? Although I suppose that will give me my answer.

Another few moments of pacing and Lord Grayhill returned, only not with Lady Hawkins. When Gerald saw who he had brought instead, he stopped pacing, his stomach dropped through the earth, and he was forced to reckon in real time with the true consequences of what he had done.

“What is the meaning of this!” Lord Mildenhall cried as he strode toward Gerald. “Your Grace! I would say that you better have a damn good reason for all of this! But I cannot fathom what you might say to justify such a… a… an action that defies reason!”

Gerald’s first instinct was to apologize and ask for forgiveness. He had wronged this man and the easiest way to diffuse him would be to admit fault and lay his heart bear, praying that Lord Mildenhall’s reason saw through his anger. And he very nearly did to…

Only then, Gerald considered a different approach. Where he was sorry for what he had done, he would not apologize for it. He would not beg. And he certainly would not rely on Lord Mildenhall’s good grace to forgive him. This wasn’t about forgiveness. This was about admitting who he was and what he wanted – whatever the cost! And where he felt bad for Lord Mildenhall, he reasoned that he was doing this for Lady Hawkins, as much as himself.

“I would think that was clear,” Gerald said simply. “I am in love with Lady Hawkins and I came here to tell her as such before it is too late.”

“In love!” Lord Mildenhall cried with exasperation as if he did not understand the word. “Too late!” he then added. “That is not… of course you are too late! This is my wedding day, man! How you think such a thing as this is appropriate –”

“It does not matter if it is or not,” Gerald spoke over him. “And that is the point. I love Lady Hawkins…” He looked at Lord Grayhill and nodded so the man would know his words were true. “And I could not live with myself if I did not let her know it.”

“That is… how you think that makes any difference –”

“It makes all the difference,” Gerald spoke over him. “What is more, I believe that she loves me also. I understand the timing of this is not appropriate.”

“You think!”

“And believe me when I tell you that I will do everything that I can to make this right by you. My intention here is not to cause duress. Rather, it is because I believe that Lady Hawkins deserves happiness and I know that with you, Lord Mildenhall, that is not an option.”

Lord Mildenhall continued to look bewildered. “I… I… we had a deal!” He was on Lord Grayhill now. “I was to pay your family’s debts and Lady Hawkins was to provide for me an heir! What does it matter if she and I are not in love…” His lip curled slightly at the notion. “You need this as much as I do,” he begged of Lord Grayhill. “Think of your family’s future!”

Lord Grayhill stood silent throughout the pleading. His expression was considered as he looked between Gerald and Lord Mildenhall. Biting into his lip, brow furrowed, he took his time with it and Gerald held his breath…

“I think…” Lord Grayhill nodded once. “I think, Lord Mildenhall that I will be cancelling our deal.”

“What!”

“I am sorry,” he said added quickly. “Truly, I am. But it is as His Grace says…” He smiled then, and it reached his eyes. “My sister’s happiness is what matters here and if there is a chance she might find such happiness with His Grace, what sort of brother would I be to deny it of her.”

Lord Mildenhall was caught between fury and shock. His mouth opened and closed. His eyes grew wide and then sunk. It looked for a moment like he had forgotten how to speak and Gerald braced himself for the tirade that was sure to follow.

“That is… I cannot believe…” And then, his shoulders slumped. “If that is the way of things... I suppose throwing a tantrum will not make much of a difference now, will it?”

Gerald very nearly laughed, but that was just the joy that swelled inside of him threatening to explode from his lips. His heart swelled and he had to resist the urge to grab Lord Grayhill and pull him into a hug.

“Thank you, Lord Mildenhall,” he said instead. “I appreciate your civility.”

“Yes, well…” He shook his head and sighed. “In times such as this, I suppose civility is the best that can be hoped for.” He laughed bitterly at that, dejected but not broken.

Still, that did not mean he wished to remain and soak in the rejection that was this marriage, quick to say his goodbyes and shuffle away. Gerald watched him go, making a mental note to help the man where he could, possibly even finding him a bride in the future for he felt that he owed him.

“Do not think it will be that easy,” Lord Grayhill then spoke, bringing Gerald back into the moment. “You have my blessing, but my sister is a different beast.”

“Thank you,” Gerald said. “And don’t I know it.”

“She is waiting for you,” Lord Grayhill said and indicated toward a small room that stuck from the back of the church. “If you dare.”

Gerald nodded and readied himself to finally speak directly with Lady Hawkins. Although before he did, he realized there was one more thing he needed to say. “Concerning your debts –”

“Do not worry about that,” Lord Grayhill hurried to cut him off. “I am perfectly capable of finding the resources to cover my family’s affairs.”

“Yes, well, that might not be needed,” Gerald said, allowing himself a smirk. “The gaming house to which you are indebted. The thing is…” He grimaced. “It might surprise you to learn that I am its owner.”

Lord Grayhill’s face dropped. “What?”

“It is a long story, and I will regale you with it another time. But for now, just know, there is no need for you to worry about such things as what is owed. Let us just say that your debts are covered.”

Lord Grayhill shook his head. “I do appreciate it, Your Grace, but I am through with trading my sister’s livelihoods as if they were coin. You are owed and I will find a way to repay. You have my word on that.”

Gerald looked upon Lord Grayhill with a sense of quiet awe and respect. Almost any other man would gladly take the easy win, and he hadn’t considered for a second that Lord Grayhill would be the type to deny him. It was for that reason that another idea came to mind.

“Perhaps we can find a middle ground,” Gerald began. “My good friend, Lord Blackwood. You know him?”

“Of him.”

Gerald chuckled. “He is my partner, and I know that he is always looking for intelligent, able bodies to assist him. And it just so happens that I am thinking twice now about my future in that particular industry. Perhaps the two of you can come to a deal, of sorts.”

Lord Grayhill frowned as he looked at Gerald, likely trying to work out if this was a most generous offer or some sort of trick. But that frown soon straightened and he gave a short nod of respect. “We can talk about it later. For now…” Again, he indicated toward the room where Lady Hawkins was waiting. “I think you have more pressing issues to deal with.”

“Yes…” Gerald felt his stomach twist as his nerves peaked. “I think you are right.”

He had crashed a wedding. He had ended an engagement. He had stood tall in the face of a bereaved groom. All in the name of love. Yet he realized just now that as challenging as that had all been, the final task which lay before him would be quite possibly the hardest thing he ever had to do.

I love her and I know that she still loves me. If that is not enough, if still she sees reason to reject me, so be it. At least this way I will not die wondering. Happiness or sorrow, it is time to face the truth of who I am like I never have before.

And so it was that Gerald took a final breath and started to where Lady Hawkins waited.