Page 18 of A Beguiled Gentleman (The Bradley Brothers #1)

Chapter 18

The warning Mrs. Gibbons had issued to Hannah plagued her. That, paired with Noah’s conversation after dinner last night, had kept her in her room for most of the day. Night had fallen while she fretted the day away.

At first, hearing that Noah had burned Margaret’s letters had brought her hope. But as Hannah continued to ponder it, the more she realized it was like a nail in her coffin. Noah had burned the letters weeks ago, spent time with Hannah, and yet, at dinner yesterday, had gone so far as to compare her to a sister. Now Hannah feared it was not Noah’s broken heart holding him back, but rather herself. She had been too much of a friend to him. Perhaps she should have done as Sarah said and tried to get him to see her in a romantic light after all. But how could she regret the moments she and Noah had together? To give them up would have meant giving up their closeness and familiarity with one another. And Hannah could not have presented herself to Noah in a romantic light so soon after Margaret’s rejection.

There was no simple answer to her quandary.

And then there was the ball. A whole other matter entirely, for Hannah needed to decide whether she would entertain another man to keep her mother from holding Noah’s actions over the Bradleys to garner a proposal. But how could Hannah look Noah in the eyes, married, knowing that he saw her as a sister while her heart ached to be near him? And yet, Hannah’s other option was to do the one thing she had been avoiding—marrying a man she did not know or love with the understanding he was likely doing so as a business transaction.

But perhaps she was being too hasty. While she did not wish to marry a near stranger, it was possible that they would find comfort and familiarity over the span of their life.

Even as she tried to convince herself of it, her stomach churned. For that man would still not be Noah.

An idea sprouted in her mind. One that would have to be enacted quickly to work. A small voice warned her not to be impetuous, to only be patient and wait to see if something would happen on its own. But time was not a luxury Hannah had. In less than two weeks, men would be flaunted in front of her, and she would be expected to welcome their attentions. If she could find out before then exactly what Noah’s feelings really were, then her goals for the evening would be clear. And if he did not return her affection, she would choose someone at Lady Chatham’s ball. For having her father pressure Noah into marrying her was simply not an option. Hannah believed that Noah would say yes, if only to save her.

Hannah sat in her window, staring out at the gray sky as rain sliced against the glass. A rumble of thunder gently shook the panes, and she pressed her fingertips against the cool surface. As wind swayed the branches of trees below, another memory crept into her mind. A memory of Noah’s hands on her waist and whispered words tickling her skin. It was hardly how friends behaved with one another, but not having had any close male friends to speak of, she had nothing to compare his actions to. And now, Hannah’s mother had forbidden her from any more outings with him.

The need to speak her mind and know once and for all was suddenly overwhelming. Which was precisely how she ended up at her writing table with a quill in hand and the tip scratching furiously away at a piece of foolscap. Before she could lose her nerve, she hastily folded, sealed, and addressed it. Her hands trembled as she slipped it between her fingers, pinning it in place as she pulled on the service bell in the corner of her room.

Soon, a soft knock sounded on her door.

“Come in,” Hannah called out.

Joyce slipped around the door before shutting it behind her. “Yes, miss?”

She held the note behind her back. “Joyce, I need you to tell me the truth.”

Joyce walked farther into the room. The candlelight shifted around them and moved their shadows. “Of course. What do you wish to know?”

“My mother told you to give Lord Noah and me privacy, did she not?”

Joyce’s eyes widened, and she swallowed. “She told you?”

Hannah’s fingers nervously toyed with the paper in her grasp. “She did. And has she told you to not allow that anymore?”

Joyce nodded, and her eyes dipped to the floor. “Please forgive me. I wouldn’t have taken her order, but I thought you partial to him and saw no harm in it. I hope he did not take advantage of my apathy.”

“No, he did not. Lord Noah is too good a man for that.” Hannah finally brought the folded paper out in front of her. “I have a favor to ask of you. And my mother cannot be the wiser.”

Joyce’s eyes latched onto the note. “What is it you need?”

“I need this letter delivered to Meadowview, but as it is from me, no one can know about it.”

“Is it a love letter?” Joyce smiled, coming several steps nearer.

Hannah put the paper in Joyce’s grasp, then gripped her hand. “My mother cannot know. Please. And in return, I will pay you handsomely for your silence.”

Joyce stared at the note in her palm with reverence. “No need, miss. This is terribly exciting. I need no reimbursement from you.”

“I insist. This is a stipulation on which I will not yield.”

Her maid nodded, her gaze distracted as she patted herself down. Then she slipped Hannah’s note to Noah into her pocket. “Does this need to go to him tomorrow? Or should I wait?”

“It needs to get to him before the end of the week. Specifically, Friday. Earlier than that if possible.” When Joyce stared at the wall, Hannah wondered if she had asked too much of the young woman. “If you are uncomfortable with the task, I will find another way.”

Joyce’s face swung back to her. “Oh, no. I was only thinking of how I would accomplish it. I know one of the young men who makes deliveries at Meadowview. I think it should be easy enough to get him to hand this to Lord Noah.” Joyce smiled, looking down. “He is a bit sweet on me, so I don’t think there will be a problem.”

Hannah squeezed her arm. “Thank you, Joyce. I appreciate your willingness to assist me.”

Joyce walked to the door, stopping with her hand on the knob as she smiled. “Anything for love, isn’t that so?”

Hannah gave her a forced smile, and Joyce finally opened the door and left the room.

Only Joyce had no idea just how far Hannah was going to go for love. A possibly unrequited love at that. But Hannah had to know once and for all.

The next morning was picturesque after the raging storm. The sun glistened on the beads of water still clinging to the grass, making Hannah feel a bit more forgiving to them for soaking six whole inches of the hem of her gown.

“This is rather early for a stroll,” Sarah said, looking completely put out at Hannah’s insistence for a walk.

Hannah glanced back at the house to be sure Mrs. Baxton wasn’t spying from some window. “I needed to speak with you, and it is a matter of some urgency.”

Sarah scowled as she looked down at her own sodden hem. “Well, then be on with it before I am completely soaked through.”

Hannah pulled her to a stop—finally comfortable that they were well out of earshot of anyone in the house. “I may have done something hasty.”

Sarah’s brow shot up. “What did you do?”

Hannah looked to the ground, not wanting to see the disapproval in Sarah’s face when she told her. “I sent a secret note to Noah.”

“You what?” Sarah hissed.

She looked up, and Sarah had her gloved hand pressed to her mouth. “Oh, come now,” Hannah defended. “It is not so very shocking. I am hardly the first unbetrothed lady to send a note to a man.”

“But what if your mother finds out? What if the maids talk and his mother finds out. What if—”

Hannah put her fingers over Sarah’s lips. “I will remove my hand, but you must stop speaking so loudly.” Sarah closed her eyes, nodding, and Hannah let her hand fall.

“But Hannah,” Sarah said, leaning close and lowering her voice. “What were you thinking?”

Hannah shook her head. “A secret note is hardly more scandalous than what occurred on the bluffs.”

“But your maid was there. Surely nothing untoward happened.”

Hannah pulled Sarah’s hand over her arm and began their walk again. “It has come to my attention that Mother told Joyce to give Noah and I privacy. She assumed he was courting me.”

“She did not!”

Hannah nodded. “Yes, she did. No one is more determined than a mother set on making her only daughter a smart match. And with the son of a marquess? I’m afraid she lost her head with the possibility.”

Sarah’s brow crinkled. “Then why did she not use the situation to her advantage and insist Lord Noah marry you?”

“Because, somewhere in her disillusioned matchmaking mind, she does love me.”

“Well, that is good.” Sarah gave a nod. “But what of this note? What did it say?”

“I asked him to come fetch me Friday night to take me to the bluffs again.”

“At night?” Sarah came to a sudden halt and turned on her. “Hannah Gibbons, have you completely lost your mind?”

Hannah pinched her lips. “After learning Noah had no intentions toward me, Mother told me I was not to see him again. Then, the other night, I found out Lady Chatham is hosting a ball and is inviting every eligible gentleman within a five-mile radius in the hopes of me finding a good match.”

“What?” Sarah scowled. “Why would she do that?”

“I hate to think it, but perhaps she knows of my feelings for Noah and wishes me to move on,” Hannah admitted before continuing. “Be it that she has other plans for his marriage or because she knows he does not return my feelings. But the reason hardly matters. The plans are already in motion, and I need to know how Noah feels about me. If he feels nothing, then I shall move on and find someone else. But I have to know, Sarah. I cannot force myself past this and be left wondering what might have been had I only been honest with him.”

Sarah nodded, her gaze distant as her hands worked together. “But how are you planning to do this, Hannah? Are you going to just walk up and announce that you love him?”

Hannah winced. “I do not know. That’s why I need your help.”

“Me?” Sarah cried, turning frantic eyes toward her. “My goodness, Hannah. My life has had more wild moments in it since you arrived. I can say with certainty that I have no idea how to have a conversation about love while standing alone on a beach at night with a gentleman.”

“I did not have many choices at my disposal. Mother will not let me spend time with him.”

“And you’ve already sent the note?”

Hannah slowly nodded.

“Then why did you not just tell him in the note?”

“Please stop being so logical amidst my confusion.” Hannah crossed her arms with a huff, blowing away an errant strand of hair. “Besides. What if someone found the letter and read it?”

“I hardly think that is any more damaging than meeting a man at night.”

Hannah shook her head. “No. Writing in the letter would have done no good. I need to speak with him in person. Noah wouldn’t believe the letter was truly from me if I professed my feelings that way. In person, he will be forced to address it.”

“But why the bluffs? What if you are caught?”

That was a good question indeed. “It seemed romantic at the time.” Hannah’s words were tentative and quiet. It had been a rather stupid idea. “I cannot change the location now, because the reasoning I used in the letter will not allow it.”

Sarah sighed. “Then I suppose there is no going back.”

“Exactly.” She gripped Sarah’s hands. “Now please, will you help me?”