Page 30

M eredith held one end of a delicate chemise while Faith carefully folded it in tissue paper before placing it in her trunk.

It could have been left to the servants, but it was such a personal matter, the girls were happy to share the moment.

“I appreciate your help with this, Merry. I know I haven’t been at all friend-like since you arrived. ”

Meredith laughed and shook her head. “Don’t say that; you have been a wonderful hostess. But with the wedding about to take place and a house full of people to care for, you’ve had a few things on your mind.”

Faith laughed and sighed. “I have, but that’s no excuse. You’ve come all this way, and I know it’s a very busy time for you.”

Meredith reached for another garment from the carefully assembled trousseau, keeping her hands busy even as her mind tumbled with conflicting thoughts.

“It has been good for me to get out of my preoccupation and see some other perspectives. But also, and I think this is your doing, I have had several people speak to me about sponsoring the school, so it has been time well spent, I would say.”

Faith was watching her carefully even as she busied herself with her preparations. “Even if some have been strange and others less than supportive.” Faith shook her head. “I’m sorry for that too, Merry. I don’t know who invited some of these people.”

“I suspect it was your soon to be brother-in-law,” Meredith said with another light laugh. “I was wondering about some of your guests too, but even your choice of location for this gathering. Your future family doesn’t seem to be terribly supportive.”

Faith smiled gently. “No, but if you can imagine, they have come a long way. It means a lot to Jasper that his father offered to host this gathering, so we couldn’t say no.

And the place is so big and spacious, it is a good chance for us to meet and spend time with Jasper’s friends.

Who knows when we might have another chance to be all together like this?

Even if it means putting up with some strange experiences, we’re delighted to be together.

I’m just sorry that you have been the one being put to the blush over everything. ”

“It hasn’t been you or Jasper who have done so, so pay it no mind. Besides, as you know, I’ve faced far worse comments at Oxford.”

Faith shook her head, dismay written all over her face.

“I don’t know how you put up with it, Meredith.

You are far braver than me. When Sutcliffe accused Townsend of calling your morality into question, I nearly banished them both from the premises.

But you held your head up and from the serenity on your face, one would be justified in thinking you hadn’t even heard the comments. ”

Meredith lifted a shoulder, feigning disinterest. “Like I said, I’ve gotten quite used to it.”

Faith didn’t appear convinced, so Meredith turned the subject. “Tell me your plans, I beg of you. Will you be staying here with Jasper’s family?”

Faith smiled shyly and shook her head. “Not for long. Once we’re wed this week, as soon as we can manage it, we’ll be setting up our own establishment. We have a man of business looking for a home for us to purchase but in the meantime, we will be letting rooms in London.”

Meredith’s eyes widened. “In London? How do you feel about that? Are you going into Society?”

Faith smiled again. “A little, perhaps. Lady Beaverbrook will be bringing out her nieces over the next few years so I will attend whatever entertainments they host, for certain. But mostly, I will be working with Jasper on his inventions. And then if we’re blessed with a family, that will occupy me, too. ”

The bright colour staining Faith’s cheeks told Meredith her friend was both shy and delighted by the subject.

Meredith laughed along with her friend, but she was still worried.

“Happiness looks good on you, Faith. I’m so glad for you.” She paused for a moment. “What of the training academies, though? Weren’t you going to carry on with them?”

“Of course, we shall. You will be returning to Oxford. You know Mrs. Henderson is doing remarkably well with it and you will be there for any day-to-day issues as well as Sasha. I know you wish to turn your attention to the education of children, but surely you will still take an interest.”

“Certainly, I will. I just thought you might be returning as well.”

“We will likely visit, but Jasper hopes to pursue his inventions and I cannot help my fascination with his work.”

“Nor should you,” Meredith agreed promptly, her concerns easing.

“Would you consider marriage? It seems you might have some admirers.” Faith said it gently, aware Meredith was likely to dismiss the idea.

Meredith sighed. “My mother would like nothing better,” she said. “She has written to me here to urge me to consider it. I’ve only been gone from Oxford for a few days and still she pesters me on the topic. Don’t you start on it too.”

“I shan’t pester you, but as one who never thought I would find a good match for myself, I can say that it definitely has its advantages.”

“Becoming a man’s possession doesn’t strike me as something that would carry any advantages for me,” Meredith countered, her tone hot for a moment before contrition swept through her. “Forgive me Faith, that was uncalled for. I am certain Jasper adores you and would never treat you thusly.”

Faith’s smile was gentle, if a little sad around the edges. “I understand your objections, but do you really think maintaining your maidenhood will really protect you? You still have so few rights to conduct your own affairs.”

“I know,” Meredith said with a heavy sigh as she finished the folding and sat down on a nearby chair. “But few is still more than none.”

Faith laughed. “That is true.” She hurried to her friend and knelt before her. “I swear, I never meant to abandon you and our plans. Jasper and I will do everything we can to support the school project, even if I can no longer be there with my hands in the dirt with you, so to speak.”

Meredith squeezed her friend’s hand firmly. “Don’t worry about me. We’re here to celebrate your marriage. All the troubles can be sorted later.” She briskly got to her feet and shook out her skirts. “Now I’ll leave you to your packing. I can surely entertain myself for a time.”

Without waiting for a response from her friend, Meredith swept from the room, fighting the clog of tears that seemed to have no cause. She was happy for Faith, truly.

But why was her mother writing again?

She had put the task off long enough. She had to read the note.

Meredith , her mother wrote. It has come to our attention that you are talking of nothing but this ridiculous school even whilst you ought to be putting your best foot forward in this golden opportunity. I knew I shouldn’t have allowed you to attend the house party without me .

As if she could have stopped me from going, Meredith scoffed in her mind.

Meredith glanced around the library she had absconded to, finding solace in the heavy tomes and the scent of paper and ink.

The dim light from the tall windows that were kept partially covered to prevent the yellowing of the books added to the pensive atmosphere.

Meredith thumbed one of her father’s journals, the familiar sensation a source of comfort as she returned to her mother’s letter.

Mama’s disappointment was evident in every firmly written word in the thick paper.

“I think it is now my turn to ask if you are well.”

Meredith started, she hadn’t heard anyone’s approach, she was so caught up in her thoughts. With a hand pressed to her chest, she turned rounded eyes upon him. “I didn’t know anyone else was in here,” she said.

“I was passing by in the hallway and happened to glance in and see you. You had such melancholy on your face I just had to ask.”

Her cheeks heated. Meredith hated to show any form of weakness. “You needn’t be troubled over me.”

“I know I needn’t, but pray allow me,” Lord Sutcliffe said.

Meredith pushed her worries from her shoulders for a moment. “Thank you, my lord, that is kind of you.” She waved the paper in her hand gently. “As you know, family can be complicated.”

“I see,” he said as sympathy flooded his face. “We can’t live without families, but sometimes they’re hard to live with as well.”

Meredith laughed despite her disquiet.

“That is very true.”

Silence stretched between them for a moment as Meredith absently smoothed the crumpled letter. The familiar weight of her father's journal in her lap provided an anchor, even as her thoughts threatened to scatter like leaves in an autumn wind.

"My mother seems to think my presence here should serve a different purpose than what I intended," she said finally, surprising herself with her candour.

Chilton shifted his weight, and for a moment she thought he might retreat. Instead, he moved closer to one of the towering bookshelves, running his fingers along the spines in a gesture that reminded her achingly of her father.

"Ah," he said. "The eternal pursuit of suitable matches?"

"Among other things." Meredith couldn't quite keep the bitterness from her voice. "She seems to think my interest in education makes me... unseemly."

"And what do you think?" The question was gentle, but something in his tone made her look up sharply.

"I think..." she began, then paused, choosing her words carefully. "I think that perhaps there's room in this world for women to be more than just suitable matches."

His expression shifted, and she braced herself for the kind of dismissive response she'd come to expect. But instead, he surprised her.

"Like my sister," he said quietly. "She gave up her own prospects to raise me after our parents died. Sometimes I wonder if she resents that choice, even as she pushes me to make the very matches she never did."

The unexpected vulnerability in his admission caught her off guard. "Is that why you've begun to see merit in education? Because of what your sister sacrificed?"

"I hadn't thought of it quite that way," Chilton replied, his brow furrowing.

"But perhaps you're right. Caroline had all the advantages of an excellent education, yet Society dictated she use it only to shape me into a proper heir.

" He gave a short, humourless laugh. "Though she might say I disappointed her even in that. "

Meredith watched him, noting how his shoulders tensed at the admission. "And yet here you are, considering schools for your tenants' children. That hardly seems like a disappointment."

"Ah, but you see, that's precisely the sort of thing Caroline would consider a distraction from my real duties." He turned to face her fully. "Much like your mother seems to view your educational endeavours."

The parallel struck Meredith forcefully. She glanced down at her mother's letter, then back at Chilton. "It's strange, isn't it? How they can simultaneously value education and yet wish us to ignore it in pursuit of more... conventional goals."

"Conventional," Chilton repeated thoughtfully. "There's safety in convention, I suppose. Security." He paused, studying her face. "Is that what your mother wrote? That you should seek security instead of pursuing this school?"

Meredith felt her cheeks warm at his perception. "Among other things. She seems to think I'm squandering my opportunities here by discussing education instead of..." she waved her hand vaguely, "making myself agreeable to potential suitors."

"And are you? Squandering opportunities?"

The question hung in the air between them, weighted with meanings Meredith wasn't quite ready to examine. She found herself standing, needing to move, to put some distance between them.

"That depends entirely on what one considers an opportunity, doesn't it?

" She walked to the window, watching as sunlight filtered through the partially drawn curtains.

"I've gained several potential sponsors for the school this week.

Lady Beaverbrook seems particularly interested.

To me, those feel like opportunities worth pursuing. "

She heard him shift behind her but didn't turn. "And what of the other opportunities? The more... conventional ones?"

Now she did turn, meeting his gaze steadily. "Are the two mutually exclusive? Must I choose between making a difference in the world and..." she hesitated "...finding happiness in other ways?"

Something flickered in Chilton's eyes that made her heart beat faster. But before he could respond, voices in the hallway announced the approach of other guests. The moment shattered like fine crystal, leaving them both standing awkwardly as Lady Caroline appeared in the doorway.

"Ah, there you are, Chilton," she said, her sharp gaze taking in the scene. "I hope I'm not interrupting anything?"

"Not at all," Meredith said quickly, gathering her letter and her father's journal. "I was just leaving."

As she passed Chilton on her way out, she heard him say softly, "For what it's worth, I don't believe they're mutually exclusive at all."

The words followed her down the hallway, adding to the tumult of emotions his presence had stirred. Perhaps her mother was right about one thing – this house party was indeed full of opportunities. They just weren't quite the ones her mother had in mind.