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NO.
Tim:
She let a man with obsession rizz walk out of her life. And now she’s out here pretending she’s doing great like I didn’t see her watch that interview clip where he said “no comment” with TEARS IN HER EYES. MFW I remember the collar’s gone *cries*
Colin:
Okay, but jokes aside, sis. How’s therapy going?
Me:
Good. I mean, it’s like digging through a closet where I shoved feelings in shoeboxes labeled “totally fine” and now I have to open them one by one without setting the house on fire.
Tim:
So are you still spiraling every morning like clockwork or are we calling this your calm era?
Me:
I haven’t spiraled into a stress-cleaning episode in two weeks, so we’re calling that regulated, right?
Tim:
Sis. No. You once alphabetized your entire bookshelf by heartbreak level at 2am while crying to a Bon Iver remix. You’re not fooling anyone with this “regulated” talk. You ARE the spiral.
Me:
And yet somehow still the healthiest one in this chat.
Colin:
Low bar.
Colin:
Speaking of the Sinclair emotional health scale, how are you and Mom going?
Tim:
OH YES. You know, after she learned that James was only “clean” because he hid the bodies. Update on him BTW: Still shady. Recently seen with a 26-year-old yoga instructor named Sky who calls him “Jimmy” in public. He wears loafers in public now. It’s bleak.
Me:
Mom’s in her “maybe Gage wasn’t bad” era. Like ma’am. You once told me I couldn’t do better than James. And now you’re sending me articles titled “How To Reconnect With The Love of Your Life.”
Colin:
Wait so she’s now Team Gage?
Me:
Apparently. She sent me a link to a couples retreat and said “you could heal together.” Like I haven’t spent years healing from HER.
Tim:
WAIT.
Me: