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I shouldn’t have said that.

Annabeth responded,“WHOOOO!”

I would have jumped out of my pants if I’d been wearing any. Where my girlfriend’s face had been a second before, two huge black eyes stared out over a hooked golden beak. Her head had turned into a heart-shaped expanse of white plumage, rimmed with speckled brown feathers. From the neck up, my Wise Girl was a barn owl.

“What?!”I yelped.

Annabeth’s new head turned sideways.“WHO?”

They were both really good questions.

Grover sobbed. “Percy—oh my gods!”

“It—it’ll be fine,” I stammered. “We’ll figure it out.”

“No, look at yourself!” Grover demanded.

I glanced down. I was still bare-chested. Still in my underwear. I raised my hands—except I didn’t have hands anymore. Where my arms used to be were eight thick purple tentacles lined with pink suction cups. One tentacle was curled around Riptide. I was so shocked I loosened my hold, letting the blade drop.

“Oh…”

I wanted to throw up. No offense to octopuses. I’ve had some great conversations with octopuses. But I didn’t want to have their tentacles. My new appendages felt wet and slimy. Powerful muscles rippled under the skin. The suckers clasped and unclasped, smelling the air, searching for something to grip. “This is bad.”

“That’s not all,” Grover whimpered.

It was hard to get out of my own misery zone, but I forced myself to look at Grover.

He was staring down at his legs and weeping. Where his furry goat hindquarters had been, there was bare skin, forward-articulating knees, and instead of hooves…feet. Five-toed feet not too different from mine.

“Human,” he sniffled. “That’s theworstkind of beast!”

I fought down a little resentment, because of the three of us, I felt like he’d gotten the least-awful deal. Beestings included. Then again, I wasn’t a satyr.

“It’s—Yeah,” I said. “I’m sorry, man. But there has to be a cure.”

“There isn’t!” wailed Phaedra from the floor.

These naiads were tough. Phaedra had sap leaking out her broken nose and white beast juice crusted around her battered mouth, but she was already trying to get back up.

“How are you still conscious?” I demanded.

“You fool!” she cried. “Beast breath has no antidote. You will be like that forever!”

Annabeth turned her head 180 degrees and shrieked at the nymph.“AWK!”

It sounded like more of a statement than a question. I guessed Annabeth was cursing in owl. Or maybe she was just reacting to noise from a rival predator. Had the potion changed the inside of her head, too? Did she now have the brain of a raptor?

I knew owls were supposed to be Athena’s animals, wise and knowing and all that, but I didn’t like the idea of my girlfriend having to live the rest of her life with the head of a bird. I mean…yes, I was pretty nocturnal. We could try to make it work. But if she started swallowing rodents whole and coughing up owl pellets…No! Therehadto be a solution.

The whole room felt like it was shaking. I tried to calm the tremors in my gut.

“Grover,” I said. “Can you tie these nymphs up tight this time?”

He stared miserably at his legs.

“I feel so violated,” he muttered. “My beautiful fur…My hocks and dewclaws—”

“Grover!” I flailed my tentacles. I hadn’t meant to, but they responded to my agitation, shimmying around and coiling into loops. I was lucky I didn’t squirt ink out of my armpits. “Grover, I know, man, but please.”