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I did my best to drool in an outraged way. My eyes sent the messageDude.

“Here we are!” Silbe crooned, bursting through the curtains with a roll of gift paper. “It has little snowflakes on it. That will have to do. And here are a few ribbons and bows to choose from. Now, normally, the price for the Cypress Summer Breeze would be—”

“Wait, I need gift wrapping for him, too.” He pointed at me.

Silbe looked incredulous enough for both of us. “You want to gift wrap your friend? But I was going to dispose of him, after I tied him up and showed him to my sisters. I was looking forward to gloating.”

“Silbe,” Grover said, “I can write you a glowing review inCloven Elders’ Monthly. Five hooves. I’ve never givenanyestablishment five hooves. But you have to meet me halfway. You said my friend has the same chemistry profile as my girlfriend, yes? I want to make sure the gift wrapping looks good on him before we wrap up her present!”

This made absolutely no sense to me. Then again, I was a slab of meat on the floor and nobody had asked my opinion. Also, the customer was always right, I guess. Silbe’s eyes had lit up at the thought of a five-hoof review inCloven Elders’ Monthly, which I was pretty sure didn’t exist.

“Fine.” She set the bottle of Spellbound on the counter, knelt, and stuck a blue bow on my forehead. “Oh, yes, that’s definitely his color. I may present him to my sisters that way. Now, about your girlfriend’s gift…”

As they debated ribbon and bow options, I realized I could now taste the nasty lint under my tongue. Warmth was spreading down my throat and into my lungs. My fingers twitched. I could flex my hand.

Whatever Grover had put in my mouth seemed to be hastening my recovery.

Grover turned to keep Silbe’s back to me. As he asked probing questions about her return policies, I managed to sit up, feeling woozy and sluggish. I fumbled for my sword, but I couldn’t make my hand work right. I accidentally slumped into the sales counter, pushing it sideways, and a vial rolled off the edge and into my lap: the bottle of Spellbound.

Silbe spun to face me. “WHAT?!”

Grover hit her over the head with the roll of snowflake wrapping paper, which made her turn. “HEY!”

I managed to get my clumsy fingers around the perfume bottle. I almost squirted it in the wrong direction, into my own face, which would not have been great. Just as Silbe realized that Grover was only a distraction and probably not serious about that five-hoof review, I got the vial pointed in the right direction and sprayed Silbe’s legs.

She collapsed into a kneeling position.

“How dare you!” she shrieked.

I squirted her face five times.

She keeled over sideways and began to drool and twitch.

“Urgh,” I said.

Grover helped me up. My legs felt like foam swimming-pool noodles. I leaned against the counter.

“Danks, man.” I spat the lint out of my mouth. “Wha’ waz zat?” It came out a little slurred since my tongue and lips were still numb.

“Piece of brown toad eye.”

“Wha’ now?”

“Curative dried mushroom. I wasn’t sure it would work.”

“Well, peesciate it,” I told him. “Neber gedding dat taste outta my mouf. Les’ check da back woom.…” I tried to take a step and almost face-planted. “Maybeyoushould check the back woom. I’ll watch Silbe.”

Grover ducked behind the curtain. While he searched, Silbe and I glared at each other and drooled menacingly.

“No polecat,” Grover said when he reemerged. “But I did find this.”

He handed me another business card. This one was bright pink and readSCENTS FOREVERin glittery silver, with smaller letters at the bottom:DAEDRA AND PHAEDRA, PROPRIETORS, followed by an address.

“My gods,” I said. “The business names just keep getting worse.” At least my mouth was getting better. “I’m gonna guess Daedra and Phaedra are the twins. And this address is only, like, three blocks south.”

Grover nodded. “What do we do with this one?” He kicked Silbe’s shoe.

I thought about it. I didn’t want to make her gopoofinto a cloud of rose fragrance if I could help it, no matter how mean she had been to me. Something told me these sisters had a legitimate reason for wanting revenge. I couldn’t remember what it was, but it made me feel bad.