Page 47

From my time spent with him, I gathered that it was a side effect of being bound to Donika. That her blood made him what he was, and her magic that runs through his veins won’t allow him to betray her. But that didn’t stop him from fighting against it. I had never seen the other Noctani fight against it, and the only discernible difference between him and the rest was that he had been bound when he was turned.

I placed a hand against his shoulder. I was surprised that each time I reached out and touched him, I found his skin warm and soft. It was utterly at odds with what he had been turned into—I expected his pale and chalky skin to be cold and clammy.

“But you haven’t brought me back to her yet, even though that is what she told you to do.”

His gaze sparked with anger. “No, I haven’t. When it comes to you, she won’t tell me what to do. She can’t.You’re mine.” He all but growled those last words. “The idea of her putting a hand on you… ”

Confusion and exhaustion threatened to pull me under. My eyelids were becoming heavy as I slumped against the headboard.

“You’ll keep me safe?” I asked.

The hope in my own voice threatened to choke me.

He nodded fiercely, his hand coming up to palm my cheek. “I will never let her kill you.”

Those two things weren’t necessarily the same thing, and the difference wasn’t lost on me. There was only so much Nik could do to defy Donika. There were certain things he couldn’t even say—certain things he couldn’t do. It was only a matter of time before his loyalty to Donika overrode his need to keep me all to himself. At some point, Donika would make him bring me to her. And he would obey.

I needed to escape before that happened.

Nik shuffled back down onto the bed, pulling me with him. His chest warmed my chilled fingertips and I curled against him, my head resting in the crook of his neck.

“I am glad I got to see my father, though. Despite everything. He always wanted status for me, and what better status could I get than the strongest Noctani in Donika’s army? To prove ourselves, she put us through a series of tests. I passed with flying colors.” He laughed to himself, the vibration of his chest running through me.

I didn’t answer. I didn’t need to.

Even without humanity Nik was trying to please his dad, as he had while growing up. There was no pleasing Zachariah. Not when Nik was in love with me. He might not have those types of emotions right now, but he did feel some form ofpossessiontowards me. I was counting on that to save me, in the end.

When I finally fell asleep, the sheets still stained with our blood from earlier, all I could think about was how much the lines had blurred.

And how here and now… I didn’t think I minded it at all.

Time was moving in slow motion during my stay in the Noctani safe house. Each day was different. Some days, Nikolai would allow me downstairs with him to explore the first floor. Some days, he would make me stay locked in his room.

One thing was certain, he never let me interact with any of the other Noctani.

Ever.

Nik was the only one I had been in contact with and I was beginning to think I was losing my mind a little bit. Nik was still somewhat himself, but he also… wasn’t. He remembered things from our past and he craved both my blood and my body, but without the bond in place, I couldn’t discern what his true feelings were. And any time I tried to ask, he would shut the conversation down.

The blackout shades were pulled down on all the windows and locked closed at all times, and I could never tell if it was daytime or nighttime. That in and of itself was making me go stir crazy. Nik had told me that while Noctani weren’t affected by the sun as vampires might be, they did largely prefer the night. This observation allowed me to discern that they appeared to keep a nocturnal schedule. I could guess when it was day or night based on their sleeping schedule, but I could never know for sure. It had me out of sorts.

Nik had left early today and was already gone when I woke. I made quick use of the washroom in all its decadence before dressing and approaching the door. I had tried to use my magic to unlock it time and time again. Despite it appearing to be a regular wooden door, it must have been laced with iron or ash. My magic was useless against it. I tried the same with the windows, but never had any luck.

Nik had been wearing a jacket with big silver buttons yesterday, and while we romped around in bed together I had torn the jacket from him, ripping one of the buttons off and shoving it under the pillow for later. He had tossed the jacket to the floor, long forgotten about, and hadn’t picked it up today, either. When I moved to the bed and fished under the pillow for the button, a sigh of relief escaped me that the back of it was a long pin.

I hadn’t thought I would get this lucky.

I quickly moved to the door and dropped to my knees before it, fishing inside the lock with the sharpened back of the button. It was a little short, but it was all I had. I scoured this bedroom searching for something I might use to pickthis lock, but there was nothing. Nik likely hadn’t realized the button could be used as a lock pick, either.

I pressed my ear to the door to listen for a click. I had never picked a lock before, and it hadn’t been part of my training with the resistance. I was fishing around blindly for anything that might give, holding my breath as I sent up a silent prayer to the Mother.

“Please, please unlock,” I muttered to myself, a line of sweat creasing my brow as I worked.

Right as I was about to give up, as I was about to search the room for another tool I might use, I heard the click. My eyes flew wide as I turned the knob, the door creaking towards me as it opened.

I was on my feet in a heartbeat, quietly treading down the hallway. I didn’t have any weapons, and I hadn’t seen any I could steal during my supervised visits on the first floor. If I was going to escape, my best bet was to do it while Nik was either gone from the house or asleep.

I was fairly familiar with this area of the house, having cased it each and every time I was let out of Nik’s bedroom. At the end of the hall was another bedroom and washroom before the steps descended into the main living space. The hallway was covered in a thick, worn carpet and I used it to my advantage, trying to remain as silent as possible despite my clunky boots.