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And plunged her fist into Caldris’s chest.

THIRTY-NINE

NILA

I slinked through the halls in the dark cover of night. All was silent as I made my way through the narrow corridors, a momentary reprieve offered to all who called Tar Mesa home as Mab slept. It was as if the palace itself breathed a sigh of relief, as if the very stone walls that surrounded me relaxed along with the residents who were trapped in this Godsforsaken place.

Even Mab’s guards who usually patrolled the halls while she slept were conspicuously absent. They too undoubtedly took advantage of the opportunity to rest without fear that she would kill them in a mad fit while they slept.

I’d only told one person of my plans for my night, instead choosing to take this part of my journey on my own. Countless others had attempted it before me, and few had made it past the guards Mab surrounded herself with. My only hope in this was that she was less protected than ever, her own who were usually loyal to her evencoming to fear her in such a way that they could no longer defend her.

Their risk of being murdered was as high as any of ours, and that tended to put things into perspective for those whose loyalty could be purchased with the promise of survival.

The knife I had tucked away into one of the drawers in Estrella’s sitting room burned a hole in my pocket. I didn’t dare to reach in to grasp the hilt for fear of burning myself upon the iron of the blade, particularly when I turned to the staircase that would take me to the upper floor of Tar Mesa. On this top level, only Mab resided and no others were permitted entrance apart from the guard who waited outside and her lady-in-waiting. Any others who were summoned here had come to fear this place, and I couldn’t help but think of the day that Mab had brought Estrella here. I rounded the corner at the top of the staircase, keeping my head low as I carried a tray with a teapot and cup and small bites of food placed upon it.

I hoped her guard would pay little attention to the servant bringing Mab her midnight tea. Even if she had already succumbed to sleep earlier than normal this evening, Aligan, her lady-in-waiting, would always make sure that her tea was there for her should she wake and desire it. The consequences of not providing that service were too dire.

While Aligan slept off the harsh reality of the herbs I’d put into her own tea, tucking her into the kitchen closet so that no one would find her before I’d done what I’d set out to do, I would bring Mab her tea and stab her through the heart before she could ever wake.

I kept my head down as I approached the carved metal of the doors to her bedroom. Mab’s pet snakes slithered through the gaps, making the door look alive in the darkness. I kept my head down with my hood raised high around the edges of my face, hoping the guard couldn’t see past the faint hint of glamour I’d managed to summon. Any hint of Rheaghan’s magic had left me when he died, but it mattered little now.

I wouldn’t need it for much longer anyway.

“Nila,” the guard said, my name on his voice making everything in me tighten. It was the worst possible outcome of this quest, the one guard on duty being the one who would recognize me. He’d been kind to me where all Mab’s other loyal members had been cruel, and I knew without a doubt he was the only one who’d taken time to know my name, let alone recognize the lines of my face through my glamour.

“Dravenor,” I said, meeting his stare finally. I released my hold on the glamour, letting it slip away and preserving my energy. The presence of the iron had already made it weak enough, giving me little hope of victory unless I managed to sneak into Mab’s rooms undetected.

“What do you think you’re doing?” he hissed, grasping me by the forearm and pulling me away from the doorway and the prying eyes of Mab’s snakes who may or may not alert her to my deception now that he’d spoken my name out loud.

The alcove he took me to was secluded enough, tucking us out of view from the prying eyes as he pressed me into the wall and leaned into my space.

“I’m ending this for all of us,” I said, jerking my arm out of his hold. I set the tray upon the table next to a vase in the alcove beside us, my deception no longer necessary.

“What makes you think you’ll be successful when so many others have tried and failed? She’ll kill you before you can even get close,” he said, scoffing as he ran his hand through his hair. “Don’t waste your life on this misguided attempt that will only get you killed. Do you want your painting to hang in this hallway?” he asked, gesturing an arm out to the portraits of some of those who had tried to kill Mab through deception and tricks. They decorated her halls now, their likeness a morbid reminder of what happened to those who dared.

Few bothered anymore, her reign of terror so complete that there was no form of bravery that could account for an action such as this. Only recklessness and a disregard for one’s life could bring someone to this moment. “And what kind of life is it that I’ll have if I don’t do this? Eternal fucking servitude?” I snapped, shaking my head with a bitter laugh.

“At least you’ll be alive,” Dravenor hissed, his anger tangible in the air. “Rheaghan was a good male. Deserved far better than he got, and he would want better for you than to die at Mab’s hands.”

I wanted to kill him for daring to speak his name. For offering me the reminder of all that I’d lost, and all that we hadn’t hidden as well as we’d thought.

“Don’t tell me what he would want. He never got to have what he wanted while he was alive because of that fucking bitch of a Queen, and I’ll be damned if she gets to continue controlling my life now that he’s gone,” I argued, glaring into Dravenor’s face. I was determined to keep him distracted, to allow for the backup to this endeavor to slideinto place while I kept him occupied. I hated that of all the guards I needed to use in this, it had been him who would bear the consequences.

If we didn’t succeed, Mab would kill him, too.

But that was a sacrifice I was willing to make for the rest of Alfheimr and the lives we would save if we were successful.

“Many here find a way to go on without their mates for a time. Some find companionship that fills some of the hole left behind by the mates they never got the opportunity to meet. Your bond was never completed. You could have centuries before you’re lost to the madness and you want to throw that all away?”

I raised a hand, placing it on his chest gently. I didn’t miss the flare of his eyes at the intimate touch, even if his armor did separate us from having skin-to-skin contact. It was a strict reminder of what I’d already learned in my time in the Shadow Court.

Kindness never came free in this place.

It always came with the weight of expectation and a pulsating reality that lingered just behind the kind words and gentle assurances.

He was no less a monster than the others. He just hid it better and used emotional manipulation rather than violence.

The door to Mab’s bedroom creaked as Imelda pulled it open, slipping inside quickly but as quietly as she could manage. Dravenor too heard the sound, his head snapping to the side to lean back and look down the hall. I hoped Imelda was already inside Mab’s quarters, tucked out of sight and out of mind as I did the only thing I could think to do in order to distract Dravenor from the second intruder looking to kill his Queen.