Page 172 of War

Chapter 46

“That was stupidof you,” Hussain says.

The phobos rider finds me later that day sitting amongst a line of empty tents. I’ve already embraced my friend and her nephew and I’ve processed—or at least I’vetriedto process—the horrors of the day.

Now I’m simply hiding from what’s left of the world.

And judging from Hussain’s presence, I’ve clearly done a shit job of it.

Hussain might be the only one of War’s phobos riders I actually get along with, though I haven’t talked to him in a while. Ever since a rider tried to kill me, the horseman has been a little reluctant for his men to get close. Now, apparently, that’s no longer the case.

“So many others have already tried to kill him,” Hussain says, sitting down next to me. My undead guards don’t attempt to stop him from getting close. “You must’ve known it wouldn’t work,” he adds.

I don’t bother asking him how he knows I tried to stab the horseman. My best guess is that War let his men in on his plan. They, after all, stood passively by as the dead killed their comrades. Only the children and the morally pure were spared from death today—oh, and Zara. She’s no innocent, but she was my friend, which apparently saved her in the end.

“I wasn’t trying to kill him,” I say to Hussain.

At least, notpermanently. Even I know that’s an impossibility. I just wanted the massacring to stop. Coaxing him hadn’t worked. I thought violence might get through to him; it was a language War understood.

“Then it was an even stupider idea,” Hussain says.

“Did you come here to make me feel bad?” I snap. “Because I already do.”

The truth is, I don’t know what exactly I feel. I was cutting these people down in battle only a week ago; I shouldn’t be sad they’re gone, especially considering that War saved the deserving from his wrath.

Still feel like shit.

“Thereisno stopping him, Miriam,” Hussain says.

“Pestilence was stopped,” I say.

“You don’t really know that, though, do you?” he says.

Yes, I want to reply,War essentially told me so himself.

But maybe the horseman lied. Maybe Pestilence simply finished his mission before he killed off everyone. How am I supposed to know what each horseman’s divine plan is?

“So what’s your solution?” I say. “Continue fighting until the world ends?”

Hussain gives me a look. “My world alreadyhasended. My wife and children are gone, my friends were slain before my eyes. There is no world for me to go back to.”

I glance over at him then, my brows furrowing. I hadn’t thought of the phobos riders as victims. Not when they are so good at killing.

“Why do you fight for War if he’s done so much to hurt you?” I ask.

Hussain gives me a long look, then squints at the sky. “The only part of War that is human is his memory of every battle that has ever been waged. Has he ever told you about those memories?”

I frown at him.

“War’s seen us kill tens of millions of people over the centuries, and many of those deaths have been unnecessarily cruel.” Hussain exhales, the sound full of weariness. “He’s just projecting back on us our very worst nature.”

I give Hussain a skeptical look. “Andthatconvinced you to fight for him?” Because what I got out of that was that humans need to do a better job of being kind. Not go on being savages until we’ve destroyed ourselves completely.

“That convinced me that there is something inherently wrong with us,” he says.

I stare out at the empty tents. Some of them are sprayed with blood.

“So you believe wedeservethis?” I ask.