Page 150 of War

He stares at me for a long time, then turns his attention to the undead who’ve congregated around me. Finally he inclines his head. “For your soft heart.”

I release a breath. “Thank you.” With that, I turn on my heel.

I feel those violent eyes on me as I walk away, the dead closing ranks around me once more.

The phobos riders that live in War’s area of camp stop and stare (somewhat hostilely) at me and my macabre bodyguards as I pass them by. But the real looks come when I enter the main area of camp.

Men and women openly gape at me, their eyes darting from dead man to dead man. And the same children who I’ve seen handle weapons now scream and flee at the sight of the walking dead.

I’m regretting this trip already.

By the time I get to Zara’s tent, she’s already standing outside of it, her arms crossed and an eyebrow raised.

“Why is it that I always hear about you before you arrive?” she says by way of greeting.

“I think I’m just unlucky.”

She eyes the dead men. “They’re not coming in my tent,” she warns.

I glance at them, suddenly unsure how I’m supposed to get them to beat it. “I’ve arrived,” I tell them. “You can back off now.”

In response, they spread out, flanking the area and causing a nearby woman to scream and drop the clothing she was washing. The rest of the women loitering along this row of tents watch us curiously.

Zara jerks her head towards her home. “Why don’t we chat inside?”

I follow her in, and in the dim, warm confines of her tent, I see Mamoon playing with some faded plastic toys and a well-loved teddy bear.

“Mamoon, say hi,” Zara says.

“Hi,” he replies without looking up.

Zara purses her lips together, and she looks a little like she wants to cry.

“How’s—” I jerk my head to her nephew, “it going?”

She sighs. “Hard. It’s really, really hard. But I have more than what most people here do, so I’m counting my blessings.” She takes a deep breath, her emotional walls coming up. “But that’s not what I want to talk about right now.” Her eyes move over me. “Wherehave you been for the last week? You disappeared on me.”

I don’t want to say it, I really, really don’t.

Her eyes pass over me again. “You screwed him, didn’t you?”

I sit down hard and nod.

“Yeah.” I fucked him good.

“Well?” she adds. “Was it worth it?”

I glance at her nephew.

“He has no idea what we’re talking about. It’s fine.”

Not so sure about that …

“So?” Zara presses. I can’t tell if she’s angry. She sounds annoyed, and she seems a bit on edge, but then again, ever since I’ve known her, Zara’s always been a bit edgy.

I give a humorless laugh. “You mean did I enjoy it?” I give her a look. “Yes. I did.” It’s problematic how much I’ve enjoyed it.

“And now you feel guilty?” she asks.