Page 44

“Morning to you, soldier,” I say back. The cool rush of the fridge air soothes my cheeks and body, still blushing and flushed from when I was in Trent’s arms.

And suddenly, at the thought of him, not even the breath of the fridge is enough to keep me cool.

I push away my fantasies—no, mymemories—and make my way to the table where I join Edward. I dip my spoon into the yogurt and look around; the house is perfect, decorated with warm tones of cream and white. Modern but dappled with wood and some antiques here and there. Instagram-ready in every way.

“It’s good being here, knowing this is Trent’s place.” Edward leans back comfortably in his chair. “You know that he and I were in hell together, I’m guessing.”

I shoot him a puzzled look with my yogurt halfway to my lips.

“SEAL training,” Edward clarifies with a laugh. “Not actual hell. Well, I mean, fuck. Kind of.”

I shake my head. “I didn’t know.”

Edward nods. “Yeah. I got hurt,bad.Broke my leg in three places. We were out in the Blue Ridge Mountains, East Jesus of nowhere. Not a fucking thing out there except mosquitoes. We were on a survival night. I went down the side of a hill, lost my pack, my beacon. The whole fucking deal.”

“Ohgod,”I say, now again with my spoon hovering.

Edward nods. “No shit. Shock set in.I was so fucking cold. My leg bleeding, bone sticking out. Four miles to safety, easy. I was losing consciousness but somehow managed to call out one last time.”

“And? They found you?”

“Theydidn’t do shit. Trent did. I was going in and out but I remember him saying, ‘Hold on. You’re not going to die tonight. Not on my watch.’ He tied my leg with a field support and carried me out of there.By himself.” Edward looks down at his own body. He’s a big guy. A very big guy. As big as Trent or maybe even bigger. “Carried me back. Made sure I was stabilized. And then went back to finish his fucking mission. Unbelievable.”

I swallow hard, staring at the polished table.That’s my brother he’s talking about. My lover. My Daddy. My everything.Unbelievable is right.

“And you two stayed in touch?”

Edward takes a sip of his coffee. “Not really. I mean, I guess we did. Like guys do. But that experience, it bound us for life. A few weeks ago he sent me some money to get me square with my family, help me get set up in business. He’s a fucking hero, I’ll tell you that. Through and through.”

I look at the admiration in Edward’s dark eyes. Knowing Trent cares less for himself than for others. Knowing he’ll never let me or anybody else down.

“He’s special,” I say softly, my hands fidgeting with the foil lid of the yogurt container, folding it into tiny pie-slices.

I suddenly find myself feeling embarrassed, and automatically look away. My eyes land on a photograph on the mantel of Trent and me and my mom and dad. Seeing it so unexpectedly opens up a hole in my heart.I wish so much they could be here to see him again.

A wave of shame begins to bubble up now, knowing that I can never share what I have with Trent with anybody. Almostfeeling grateful now that my parents are gone. Grateful that I won’t have to hide from them, too.

That thought makes me feel even more ashamed. Almost breathtakingly so.

But for all the world, we are just brother and sister. That is all. I turn to face Edward, keeping up the facade. “I’m lucky to have him as my family.”

He nods and smiles. “Hell yes, you are. And he’s a machine, besides. You know he has one of the highest kill rates in the service?”

I try to keep my face neutral. I know this is just how the military is. Some people in some professions talk about tax rates; some talk about water laws; active military soldiers talk about kill rates. But still.Still.

“No, I didn’t know.”

Edward sweeps his hand through his hair. “He’s good at what he does. I just wonder if he’ll decide to go back.”

I jerk my head around and lock my eyes on him. My heart plummets and I feel instantly queasy at even the idea of it.Go back? What the hell is he talking about?

“Why would he go back?” I ask, trying hard to keep my voice calm. But not at all sure I’m succeeding.

Edward shrugs. “His leave is two months but he has to decide. And they want him back. Pressure is on for him to stay with his team. He didn’t tell you?”

The room feels wobbly and my hands go clammy and cold. My mind spins and spins. Why didn’t he tell me? When he said he was coming home, I thought he meant he was back for good.

But what if he didn’t?