Page 125
Story: Wanting What's Wrong
“Don’t look at me like that, Cade Jamison. I’m not crazy. I know Lilith is no longer with us.”
“Then…”
“Don’t interrupt. I liked her, loved her, in fact. But you couldn’t pretend with me. I knew there was nothing between you but friendship. But with Lennie? That’s different. That’s love.” She takes a sip of her tea and watches me for a moment. “I was twenty-six, married and living here with your father, when my brother died. The last time I saw Leo, we had a massive falling out. I said things I regretted, and I couldn’t take them back because he was gone. So you know what I did?”
I shake my head. She’s never told me this story. Of course, I knew Uncle Leo was dead, but I had no idea there was anything but love between them.
“I wrote him a letter. Put down all the things I wanted to say and couldn’t. Then I put that letter into the fire and watched the ashes take my message away. And Ifelthim there when I did it. I felt his arm around me, telling me he understood. Apologizing and moving on.”
I draw a breath. “You think I should write a letter to Lilith, telling her I’m sorry I’m fu--, I mean, I’m starting a relationship with her daughter?”
She nods, a twinkle in her eye. “That or pray, but you’ve never been the praying kind.”
She tries to stifle a smirk, but it comes anyway, and then she starts to laugh.
And I laugh with her and it feels fucking good.
Mom was right.
Writing the letter was fucking hard. But now that’s it’s out, Ido feel like she’s with me in a way. It took me about an hour to get it down and I checked on Lennie a few minutes ago and she was still sawing logs looking cute as ever between my Star Wars sheets wearing an old Stone Temple Pilots t-shirt she found in my closet.
I left her to her dreams, making it back to the living room with the letter and a pack of matches.
“I’m sorry for betraying your trust,” I say, reading the last paragraph more to myself than anything else. “We can’t choose who we fall in love with. And if I could, I’d still choose Lennie because she’s perfect. She’s everything. I hope you can forgive me wherever you are; but either way, I have to do this. I have to take this all the way to the happy ending—having each other for real. Forever. Things aren’t going to be easy, but we’ll make it work. And a part of that is telling her all about us. About what we were to each other. And I know I promised to take care of her forever, so that promise I will keep.”
I blow out a breath and fold the letter. Funny to think that this is the same fireplace Mom threw her own letter into all those years ago.
“Lilith, I hope you’ll forgive me.” Just when I’m about to throw the letter into the fire, my phone rings. It’s a special ringtone I set up, and even the letter has to wait until I take this call. I set the folded paper on the little table to my left, stepping toward the window looking out to the front pasture and answer.
“Mr. Jamison?” It’s the forensic investigator I hired to get the info off the thumb drive. I’ve been waiting to see what they found.
“Yeah, what have you got?”
“Straight to business, I like that.” He clears his throat. “Part of the video was deleted as you suspected. All the other footage from that night deleted as you indicated, except this thumb drive, which means whatever happened that night was planned. It’s been cut tomake it look like the young lady set the fire, or was at least responsible for it in a misadventure, but we’ve managed to recover a section that was all static and distortion. It tells a very different story.”
“And?”
“The cameras catch a man coming in after she’s left. That’s when the fire starts. I’m afraid there’s no doubt that he was the one that set the fire. And it was deliberate, though obviously, we can’t tell his motivations for doing so. Or, why Lennie was set up. We are working on having the footage enhanced so his face is clearer. You most likely would recognize him if he was at your home that night.”
Fuck.
I’m pretty fucking sure who it is on that video. I had some interesting messages from someone the day after the news broke about my marriage to Lilith. And as for his motivations, I’m pretty sure I know exactly what they are too. And his whole shitty family.
“Would you be willing to testify to that in court?”
“That’s what you’re paying us for.”
“Email me everything. Right now.”
“Of course. I just wanted to give you the news in person first.”
“Thanks.” I end the call, then turn, wanting to finish with this letter and get back to Lennie.
But, she’s already here, reading what I wrote.
When did she come in? How much has she read?
Her eyes snap to mine, and she jumps as if she’s surprised to see me here, even though I’ve been standing here the whole time. Her fingers tremble as she puts down the pages.
Table of Contents
- Page 1
- Page 2
- Page 3
- Page 4
- Page 5
- Page 6
- Page 7
- Page 8
- Page 9
- Page 10
- Page 11
- Page 12
- Page 13
- Page 14
- Page 15
- Page 16
- Page 17
- Page 18
- Page 19
- Page 20
- Page 21
- Page 22
- Page 23
- Page 24
- Page 25
- Page 26
- Page 27
- Page 28
- Page 29
- Page 30
- Page 31
- Page 32
- Page 33
- Page 34
- Page 35
- Page 36
- Page 37
- Page 38
- Page 39
- Page 40
- Page 41
- Page 42
- Page 43
- Page 44
- Page 45
- Page 46
- Page 47
- Page 48
- Page 49
- Page 50
- Page 51
- Page 52
- Page 53
- Page 54
- Page 55
- Page 56
- Page 57
- Page 58
- Page 59
- Page 60
- Page 61
- Page 62
- Page 63
- Page 64
- Page 65
- Page 66
- Page 67
- Page 68
- Page 69
- Page 70
- Page 71
- Page 72
- Page 73
- Page 74
- Page 75
- Page 76
- Page 77
- Page 78
- Page 79
- Page 80
- Page 81
- Page 82
- Page 83
- Page 84
- Page 85
- Page 86
- Page 87
- Page 88
- Page 89
- Page 90
- Page 91
- Page 92
- Page 93
- Page 94
- Page 95
- Page 96
- Page 97
- Page 98
- Page 99
- Page 100
- Page 101
- Page 102
- Page 103
- Page 104
- Page 105
- Page 106
- Page 107
- Page 108
- Page 109
- Page 110
- Page 111
- Page 112
- Page 113
- Page 114
- Page 115
- Page 116
- Page 117
- Page 118
- Page 119
- Page 120
- Page 121
- Page 122
- Page 123
- Page 124
- Page 125 (Reading here)
- Page 126
- Page 127
- Page 128
- Page 129
- Page 130
- Page 131
- Page 132
- Page 133
- Page 134
- Page 135
- Page 136
- Page 137
- Page 138
- Page 139
- Page 140
- Page 141
- Page 142
- Page 143
- Page 144
- Page 145
- Page 146
- Page 147
- Page 148
- Page 149
- Page 150
- Page 151
- Page 152
- Page 153
- Page 154
- Page 155
- Page 156
- Page 157
- Page 158
- Page 159
- Page 160
- Page 161
- Page 162
- Page 163
- Page 164
- Page 165
- Page 166
- Page 167
- Page 168
- Page 169
- Page 170
- Page 171
- Page 172
- Page 173
- Page 174
- Page 175
- Page 176
- Page 177
- Page 178
- Page 179
- Page 180
- Page 181
- Page 182
- Page 183
- Page 184
- Page 185
- Page 186
- Page 187
- Page 188
- Page 189
- Page 190