Page 27
Story: Wanted By the Alien Warden
Cherry nodded.
“Alright. Fine. But Cherry arrived months ago,” I pointed out. “And I’m only finding this out now.”
“I was busy.”
“Holy-! When did you get here?” I gasped, my hand flying to my pounding chest as I turned to find Warden Tenn directly behind me.
“Just now. And I would have told you before you sent any new brides,” he added.
“Uh huh,” I said, trying to decide if he was telling the truth or not. “Where were you just now?”
“I was making contact with Warden Hallum so that he and his men will be ready to receive us.”
Oh. Well, that was good, I supposed, since I was the one who’d decided to make that trek out to his province. At least Warden Tenn was listening to me in some areas, even if he liked ignoring whatever statements I made about my own butt.
“I also sent him that document,” the warden suddenly added, holding up his tablet. “The one you wrote.”
“Hopefully he reads it,” I said.
Warden Tenn’s nostrils flared. A zip of white flashed in his eyes.
“The average human menstrual cycle lasts anywhere from twenty-seven to thirty-two days, though all manner of hormonal shifts, biological conditions, or even stress can effect it.”
“Uh. What?” Darcy said under her breath. Cherry shrugged.
Warden Tenn ignored them both.
“Some human women wear white gowns for their marriage ceremonies, but not all,” he went on, his shoulders set with determination. “In certain Old-Earth cultures, bright colours, like red, are associated with weddings. Some brides may wear a traditional lehenga or saree, hambok, kimono, or kente gown. Some brides may prefer a pantsuit. Wedding attire can be as diverse as the backgrounds of the brides, and what matters is that she feels comfortable, respected, and honoured, both in the ceremony and her future life with her partner.”
“You… You…”
“I read it.” He paused, then added, “Some of it. I had a look after sending it to Warden Hallum. It is very long.”
“Well, there’s a lot to know!”
The warden laughed. Like, actually laughed. A great big guffaw. I stared, slack-jawed, as he tipped his head back, his thick throat contracting with the sound.
“Indeed there is,” he rumbled, his gaze coasting from my eyes to my mouth. “And I plan to learn it all.”
“The tea is ready! Hello, Warden!” Fallon called jovially as he turned himself sideways and slipped into the room with a steaming hot cup for Darcy. As Darcy took a sip, she tossed Cherry a silent but very communicative look from above the cup. Her eyes were so big with whatever message she was trying to send Cherry she looked like they might be about to pop out of her head.
“What are you doing with your eyes?” Fallon asked loudly, bending down to closely examine his wife’s face.
No wonder the man didn’t get away with murder. Not a subtle bone in his big alien body.
“Nothing,” Darcy said, lowering her cup. “I was just trying to, er…”
“Figure out what Tasha will wear to sleep tonight!” Cherry finished.
That was absolutely not the silent conversation they’d been having a second ago, but it was nonetheless a subject that would need attention.
“I have a spare toothbrush, and you can obviously use all my soap and stuff,” Darcy said. “And I’d be happy to loan you a nightie or something, but…”
But my boobs and butt wouldn’t be able to squeeze themselves into anything of Darcy’s without some major blood flow issues.
“That’s alright,” I assured her. “I can handwash my clothes tonight and just sleep naked, I guess.”
Something croaked behind me. Like a very large animal getting choked.
“Alright. Fine. But Cherry arrived months ago,” I pointed out. “And I’m only finding this out now.”
“I was busy.”
“Holy-! When did you get here?” I gasped, my hand flying to my pounding chest as I turned to find Warden Tenn directly behind me.
“Just now. And I would have told you before you sent any new brides,” he added.
“Uh huh,” I said, trying to decide if he was telling the truth or not. “Where were you just now?”
“I was making contact with Warden Hallum so that he and his men will be ready to receive us.”
Oh. Well, that was good, I supposed, since I was the one who’d decided to make that trek out to his province. At least Warden Tenn was listening to me in some areas, even if he liked ignoring whatever statements I made about my own butt.
“I also sent him that document,” the warden suddenly added, holding up his tablet. “The one you wrote.”
“Hopefully he reads it,” I said.
Warden Tenn’s nostrils flared. A zip of white flashed in his eyes.
“The average human menstrual cycle lasts anywhere from twenty-seven to thirty-two days, though all manner of hormonal shifts, biological conditions, or even stress can effect it.”
“Uh. What?” Darcy said under her breath. Cherry shrugged.
Warden Tenn ignored them both.
“Some human women wear white gowns for their marriage ceremonies, but not all,” he went on, his shoulders set with determination. “In certain Old-Earth cultures, bright colours, like red, are associated with weddings. Some brides may wear a traditional lehenga or saree, hambok, kimono, or kente gown. Some brides may prefer a pantsuit. Wedding attire can be as diverse as the backgrounds of the brides, and what matters is that she feels comfortable, respected, and honoured, both in the ceremony and her future life with her partner.”
“You… You…”
“I read it.” He paused, then added, “Some of it. I had a look after sending it to Warden Hallum. It is very long.”
“Well, there’s a lot to know!”
The warden laughed. Like, actually laughed. A great big guffaw. I stared, slack-jawed, as he tipped his head back, his thick throat contracting with the sound.
“Indeed there is,” he rumbled, his gaze coasting from my eyes to my mouth. “And I plan to learn it all.”
“The tea is ready! Hello, Warden!” Fallon called jovially as he turned himself sideways and slipped into the room with a steaming hot cup for Darcy. As Darcy took a sip, she tossed Cherry a silent but very communicative look from above the cup. Her eyes were so big with whatever message she was trying to send Cherry she looked like they might be about to pop out of her head.
“What are you doing with your eyes?” Fallon asked loudly, bending down to closely examine his wife’s face.
No wonder the man didn’t get away with murder. Not a subtle bone in his big alien body.
“Nothing,” Darcy said, lowering her cup. “I was just trying to, er…”
“Figure out what Tasha will wear to sleep tonight!” Cherry finished.
That was absolutely not the silent conversation they’d been having a second ago, but it was nonetheless a subject that would need attention.
“I have a spare toothbrush, and you can obviously use all my soap and stuff,” Darcy said. “And I’d be happy to loan you a nightie or something, but…”
But my boobs and butt wouldn’t be able to squeeze themselves into anything of Darcy’s without some major blood flow issues.
“That’s alright,” I assured her. “I can handwash my clothes tonight and just sleep naked, I guess.”
Something croaked behind me. Like a very large animal getting choked.
Table of Contents
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