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From where Liam sits, I’m perfectly content to play the bitter bachelor, and for the past decade, I’ve happily stared up at the boot soles of men as they climb right over me to rise up the mafia ladder while I swing a hammer.
I can’t tell my powerful don boss why it’s different now.
Why suddenly, after being fulfilled by the odd one-night stand and my job as the family’s construction manager for over ten years, I demand a wife, stability, and the title of captain.
He’ll laugh in my face.
Seeing I don’t have an answer for him, he moves on, making an off-the-wall comment. “We Bachmans aren’t easy to love.”
“Yeah, true.” I exhale. “Those of us enticed by a life of crime aren’t exactly running around spouting rainbows and pulling unicorns out of our asses.” His eyes lock on mine, and something in his gaze makes me swallow hard. My unicorn reference was a bit too far. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to sound disrespectful.”
He stares a beat longer and moves on. “As far as your engagement goes, there’s the matter of love to consider. To become a captain, the marriage has to be a complete union.”
His words hit me like a rock flung from a slingshot. What use is love in our world? Wealth. Power. Control. Those are the tools of our trade. What does love have to do with anything?
He says, “You have to love her and she, you.”
My entire world comes undone, and the ground falls from beneath me. My heart sinks to the soles of my Italian leather shoes. My hands and feet go numb. I’m hot and cold all at once, and the sensation makes me lightheaded.
I mutter, “I’m afraid that’s impossible.”
“It’s in our vows. For better, for worse; for richer, for poorer; in sickness and health; to love and to cherish; until we are parted by death.” He shakes his head. “You are welcome to have a revenge marriage if you need Ophelia in order to feel things arerighted with what Leah did to you. But to become captain, I won’t accept the arrangement.”
I feel the color draining from my face. I sit back, staring blankly into the fire. “I understand.”
His voice goes quiet. “I’m sorry, Haze. This is partly my fault.”
“No, it’s not. I listened to you in the past, but I didn’t hear,” I admit. “Now, I know what it takes to move up in this family.”
He shakes his head again. “I can’t believe I had this so wrong. I would never have agreed to meet with Ophelia’s family last night if I had known you had no real love for the girl.” He sighs, leaning back in his chair. “I guess I’m no better than all the women here, playing matchmaker, desperate to see you happy.”
Happy. There’s that word again. I am destined to forever remain in this emotionally stunted state of bitterness. The walls of the room are closing in on me. The air feels stale, and the fire is suddenly way too hot. I’ve got to get out of here.
I clear my throat. “Thank you. For the truth.”
He shakes his head. “I wish it’d been sooner.” I hate the sadness in his words.
We manage another few painful moments of conversation. A handshake for Liam and a farewell kiss for Emilia, and I’m out of this house and down the front steps as quickly as my feet can carry me.
I may as well cut my losses. Pack the girl up and send her back. I’ll never love someone. And she will indeed never love me.
But all I can think of is flawless pale skin. Gleaming dark hair. Expressive blue eyes. Supple rosebud lips. I hear her breathyrelease as she comes against my mouth. I see her clutching the headrest on the back seat of my car. I see her sitting on the barstool in my kitchen, talking with Gian. I hear her high, tinkling laugh.
I feel her in my arms.
This obsession is dangerous. Now that I know marrying her will get me nowhere, should I keep her for revenge or myself? The best thing I can do for myself and her is to take her back home.
Tonight.
As for becoming captain… I’m broken. Unable to love. Clearly not marriage material.
This is a massive setback, but I won’t give up.
But to have someone fall in love with me? It’s not impossible. In fact, it’s already happened. A woman loves me so hard and profoundly that they’ve become obsessed.
The wheels crank in the dark recesses of my mind. I think of Bianca standing in the road, her gray coat tight around her and the desperation in her face highlighted by the car’s headlights. I will find a way to survive, to get what I need. Bianca loves me.
Could I, in turn, play a convincing enough role as the adoring husband?