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“My end goal was to be made captain. You said I had to be settled. That’s why I was looking for a wife. I thought you knew that.”
His head drops into his hands as he shakes it. Disappointment drips from his words. “I’d had hope that you… I don’t know—I thought you might beinterestedin Ophelia.”
“I was. I mean…” A debilitating ache tore through my empty chest the day I saw her throwing away a bag of garbage.
But I feel that’s NOT what Liam is talking about here.
The meeting is going horribly, dastardly, even.
I picture a jet losing its engine, spiraling toward the earth, then the other engine blowing up, massive flames engulfing the aircraft. The aircraft burns, crashing to the ground, leaving devastation in its wake.
What can I say?
I offer a meek, “I’ve brought her here to make her my wife. Isn’t that enough?”
“Enough to become a captain in this family?” He gives me a hard stare, then shakes his head. “No.”
My stomach drops. A cold sweat breaks out across my hairline. He said if I were settled down, he’d consider me for captain.
I lean forward. “She’s agreed to marry me. I’ll call Father Thomas right now?—”
“There’s more to moving up than wearing a wedding ring.” His words fall like dominoes around me.
Trying to keep my tone respectful, I remind him, “You told me that if I was to be fit for captain, I needed to be settled. Married. Attached. Those were your words. Right?”
Staring at his dispassionate face, I wonder if I misheard him.
He nods, then shakes his head in contradiction. “I also said some other things, like when you marry, your priorities shift. You’re no longer first in your world. Your wife is.”
Nodding, I agree. “Right. I get that.” I swipe my damp palms down the front of my trousers.
Finally lowering his hands to his lap, he continues. “You have to care for your wife. Protect her. Put her above all else and all others.”
I sink back into the chair. I need him to understand. He needs to know how important this is to me.
“Ophelia’ll want for nothing. She’ll be under my constant protection”—and thumb— “and when she’s not, she’ll be with those I trust. I have to be made captain.”
“Why is this so important to you? You’ve been perfectly content as our project manager, focused on our future expansion.” He waits. “And why now?”
My mouth is filled with sawdust. I want to swallow, but it would be awkwardly loud. I clear my throat. “I have something from my past I need to revisit.”
“You know I have a strict policy about going back to our old lives,” he says, his tone void of empathy.
His wife comes from a terrible home. Her entire family lives not far from here, yet their paths never cross. Sometimes, I think he made such a hard and fast rule to protect her from them.
Only captains and the higher ranked can do such a thing, and it must be for a good reason, like a life-or-death situation.
I can’t claim to have such an excuse.
“There’s someone from my past I need to see.” Desperately. Now. “And I know that only captains and above would be given such a self-indulgent privilege.” I shake my head, filled with shame. “Which is why I need this.”
He sits back, crossing his arms over his chest. “It’s not worth the risk.”
“I need this.” I hate the desperation as it seeps from my voice.
His dark brows lower. “Why. Now.”
“I…”No words come, and I’m left shaking my head.